Read This and Weep...

[PeggySmith]

Simon Hughes Liberal Democrat MP wrote this in the Telegraph:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/elderhealth/10775465/Britain-should-learn-from-Asian-and-African-immigrants-about-caring-for-elderly-says-minister.html

You can email him at: simon@simonhughes.org.uk

 

[Trisha4]

I will also email and Guide him towards TP

 

[whetstone woman]

Time he and others joined the real world. So many people have no families or like me almost 70 and have 92 year old mother, no way we could cope.

Sent from my MZ604 using Talking Point mobile app

 

[LYN T]

I'm furious. I'm also on his case. How dare he! He'd would be better using his energy in finding out why SS's are mainly, in my opinion, unable or unwilling to offer any help to carers.

Shame on you Mr Hughes.

Take care-I hope lots of us find the energy and time to email this person who is so out of touch with the reality of caring.

Lyn T

 

[LYN T]

Dear Mr Hughes

I am writing to tell you that I strongly object to your comments in today's Telegraph; although disturbed by the overtly racist tone of your comments, I wish to ask you to look at the bigger picture regarding caring for the elderly, or, in my Husband's case not so elderly.

To state that ' Families should follow the example of Asian and African immigrants and take greater responsibility for their elderly relations instead of “forcing” them into care homes,' shows a complete lack of understanding; as previously stated I will concentrate my comments on the 'care' aspect of your comments. I did not refuse to take responsibility or force my Husband into a care home; I left my job to care for him and by the time he went into a CH he was at the severe stage of Alzheimer and Bipolar 1 with mixed episodes. He was not forced as he had no cognition left to make a decision-I was told he needed 24 hour care, and I couldn't do that due to 'carer burnout'

Maybe my 'carer burnout' would have been avoided if there was more care offered for Dementia sufferers; perhaps you could put the blame on Social Services and the necessity for Local Councils to increase the care tariffs due to Central Government funds being cut. Perhaps you should blame these Institutions not the families and carers who do their up-most to support their relatives. To desribe my Husband as one who has been 'neglected' is an insult to myself and many, many others who have done the caring, not out of 'obligation' but out of concern and most of all love, but who can no longer cope.

Mr Hughes I'm sure you are already receiving many emails regarding your racist and insensitive comments so do not ask a junior aide to reply stating that you have been mis-quoted or your comments have been taken out of context. Please publically apologise to all the Carers of ALL cultures. Of course, if you could find it in yourself to apologise for the cuts in Social Care that would also help. Above all I would really like you to apologise for encouraging the 'guilt monster' to sit firmly on the shoulders of all of the Carers in the UK who have had to make the difficult decision to place their loved ones in Care Homes.

Finally, may I direct you to the Alzheimers Society 'Talking Point' Forum. There you will find the truth about caring. It's nothing to do with race or culture; it's all about heartbreak.

Background; my Husband, Peter, is 67, ill for 8 years, severe stage Alzheimer's, Bipolar 1 with mixed episodes, COPD and Asthma. Violent/agitated/doubly incontinent/unable to speak coherently, or understand what is being said to him. Only just able to walk. Unable to feed himself.





Couldn't help myself. I had to send this.

take care

Lyn T

 

[marionq]

Good for you Lynn and good for you all. He is really out of line and this idea that other cultures do it better is such rubbish. Everyone has to work with what they've got and if we have a culture which takes two salaries to run a home then how do families deal with that and the care of the elderly.

What a cheek!

 

[Moonflower]

It is awful, he should be ashamed
People feel guilty enough - and the stories here about worn out carers desperately seeking just a little help are heartbreaking

We have a culture where most people don't have large families, 2 salaries are needed to support a home and people travel to find work.

If I cared for my mum at home I would have to give up work - we then couldn't afford a house to keep her in. And should we have looked after my mother in Sussex or Mil in Somerset?

And, quite frankly, he is comparing the situation here with countries where life expectancy is considerably lower - often less than 60 years. Very different from expecting people in their 70s to care for parents in their 90s.

And... if he'd said that Asian and African cultures should learn from white, he would quite rightly have been shouted down as racist.

Ohhhhh I'm cross

 

[LYN T]

So far I've had an automated email stating that if I am not a constituent, he would be unable to reply, unless my email concerned his constituency - so I'm not holding my breath!

MMM I received that as well. Although it did state the e mail address could be used if it related to his work of Minister of State for Justice and Civil Liberties, and emails should be re-sent with addresses and phone numbers so I've done that. I'm now going to try to post my comments directly onto the Telegraph comments page

Take care

Lyn T

 

[LYN T]

Ah! Telegraph has closed it's comments for this news item.

I will just have to find Dave Cam's and Nicky Clegg's email address.

Won't give up

Take care

Lyn T

 

[Worried Nurse]

Well said TP'ers. Total lack of insight and sensitivity.

 

[LYN T]

Excellent suggestion Kassy.

I've sent emails to NL and JH got no reply so I asked my MP to forward them. That's when I got a reply-it's always 'I was mis quoted' sent from a junior aide

These people are meant to represent us The very least they should do is listen to our opinion or, even better, keep quiet

Take care

Lyn T

 

[PeggySmith]

I just emailed my own MP and asked him to pass on my comments. Hope it works.

 

[CollegeGirl]

I would like to invite him to come and take care of my mam for a few days and nights, and see if he changes his mind.

 

[Noorza]

I am going to send it to my Labour MP and hope he will take issue with it somewhere. It's not much but it is something.

 

[animallover]

Dear Mr Hughes

I am writing to tell you that I strongly object to your comments in today's Telegraph; although disturbed by the overtly racist tone of your comments, I wish to ask you to look at the bigger picture regarding caring for the elderly, or, in my Husband's case not so elderly.

To state that ' Families should follow the example of Asian and African immigrants and take greater responsibility for their elderly relations instead of “forcing” them into care homes,' shows a complete lack of understanding; as previously stated I will concentrate my comments on the 'care' aspect of your comments. I did not refuse to take responsibility or force my Husband into a care home; I left my job to care for him and by the time he went into a CH he was at the severe stage of Alzheimer and Bipolar 1 with mixed episodes. He was not forced as he had no cognition left to make a decision-I was told he needed 24 hour care, and I couldn't do that due to 'carer burnout'

Maybe my 'carer burnout' would have been avoided if there was more care offered for Dementia sufferers; perhaps you could put the blame on Social Services and the necessity for Local Councils to increase the care tariffs due to Central Government funds being cut. Perhaps you should blame these Institutions not the families and carers who do their up-most to support their relatives. To desribe my Husband as one who has been 'neglected' is an insult to myself and many, many others who have done the caring, not out of 'obligation' but out of concern and most of all love, but who can no longer cope.

Mr Hughes I'm sure you are already receiving many emails regarding your racist and insensitive comments so do not ask a junior aide to reply stating that you have been mis-quoted or your comments have been taken out of context. Please publically apologise to all the Carers of ALL cultures. Of course, if you could find it in yourself to apologise for the cuts in Social Care that would also help. Above all I would really like you to apologise for encouraging the 'guilt monster' to sit firmly on the shoulders of all of the Carers in the UK who have had to make the difficult decision to place their loved ones in Care Homes.

Finally, may I direct you to the Alzheimers Society 'Talking Point' Forum. There you will find the truth about caring. It's nothing to do with race or culture; it's all about heartbreak.

Background; my Husband, Peter, is 67, ill for 8 years, severe stage Alzheimer's, Bipolar 1 with mixed episodes, COPD and Asthma. Violent/agitated/doubly incontinent/unable to speak coherently, or understand what is being said to him. Only just able to walk. Unable to feed himself.





Couldn't help myself. I had to send this.

take care

Lyn T

Well done like most of our politicians he hasn't a clue as Del Boy would say what a plonker

 

[nita]

I think that Mr Hughes is behind the times. One of my mother's carers, who is Nigerian, told me that, as people increasingly move to the cities and leave their parents behind, this tradition of looking after older people is dying out. It probably prevailed more in rural communities in the past. Children now often live great distances away from their parents in all parts of the world and it is impracticable for them to give up work to look after them.

As other posters have noted, it also depends on the condition of the sufferer and how much care they need. I would not be able to look after my mother if she were not placid and reasonable, nor without help from outside care agencies now that she is bedbound.

 

[2jays]

Have sent an email to my local (libdem) MP who is supporting a petition to keep the local hospitals dementia ward open and asking them why they are bothering to fight closure when they have a minister like Simon Huges.

 

[Merrymaid]

Copy of my email to Mr Hughes, working on the theory that there is strength in numbers, he has to reply to one of us!

Dear Mr Hughes

I read with interest your recent comments, on caring for the elderly, in the press. While it is true that other cultures do promote care within the family of elderly relatives, this is already happening by many in the UK too. Your failure to acknowledge these carers who endure hardships including financial, emotional & sometimes physical to care for partners, parents & grandparents is quite insulting. I myself have had to give up work to care full time for my mother who suffers from Vascular Dementia.

Before giving up my business I was coping with her care and work for many years. I now have to sell my home to find a smaller cheaper one to enable me to live within my now restrictive means. In recognition of my 24 hour caring for my mother I receive the princely sum of £59 per week. Compare this to how much it would cost the state to pay for her to have 24 hour care in a nursing home. Would you consider leaving your salaried position to care for your parent if this was the incentive? Consider for a moment the choice; comfortable lifestyle versus challenging, sleep deprived, emotionally drained, unsupported existence as carer. Before you look outward for answers look to your home front to see what IS being done and how this could be assisted & developed.

I know there are many like me who plod on meeting each new challenge as it arrives often to the position of breaking point. Just take a look at the forum posts at Alzheimers.org.uk and see for yourself what is being achieved behind front doors in the UK before you make generalised statements about learning from elsewhere.

regards

 

[lexy]

deleted

 

[lexy]

deleted