Lost and numb.

[Julia58]

We buried dad Tuesday 15th April and I feel like it hasn't happened.
We had a beautiful service (catholic mass) and burial. I stood up and read my poem sat down and everything became a blurr.

3 days on can't seem to get upset or cry and feel guilty for feeling this way.
My family came today and kept asking if I was ok.
Is this normal as I didn't expect to feel like this at all.
Anyone else feel like this xx

 

[creativesarah]

its very normal

don't feel guilty grief takes everyone differently
At the grave side when my dad died, my sister wept copiously and I laughed. Dont take this wrong I was heartbroken but I remembered an incident when one of my dads friends fell in a fishpond and i had visions of said friend falling in the grave.Some people probably thought I was awful.

I found it was something very small that set me off a few days later totally unexpectedly. It doesnt matter what others think (easy to say not easy to put into practise.) You will cry when you are ready.

much support

sarah

 

[Lindy50]

Hi Julia

I would say it is very "normal" to feel numb at this stage. You have had a terrible shock ( however 'expected' your dad's passing was) and your mind and body will take time to adjust.

I don't know your circumstances at all, but in general I would say try to give yourself some time, take some gentle exercise like going for a walk, listen to the birds etc. And most importantly, talk about your dad with your family and friends, and remember what he means to you.

Take things easy and the numbness will ease. You may feel sharper forms of grief, and as Sarah says, you may find you are tearful at unexpected times. But be kind to yourself, remember what your dad means to you, and you will gradually get a different balance in your life.

Wishing to all the best and sending you a (((hug)))

Lindy xxx

 

[2jays]

We buried dad Tuesday 15th April and I feel like it hasn't happened.
We had a beautiful service (catholic mass) and burial. I stood up and read my poem sat down and everything became a blurr.

3 days on can't seem to get upset or cry and feel guilty for feeling this way.
My family came today and kept asking if I was ok.
Is this normal as I didn't expect to feel like this at all.
Anyone else feel like this xx

It's how you feel. Therefore it's normal.

We are all different. Thankfully.

There is no set rule on how you should be feeling, only others rules and they don't matter, because those rules are theirs.

be gentle with yourself. Listen to you. No one else.

 

[bilslin]

So sorry to for your loss. Its early days julia58. Lost my dad 3 years ago and it would have been his birthday on 16th, went off to my hobbies funeral and on the way down put some music on and it set me off. Used to play the cd when I took my dad to hospital appointments. So you take care. lindaxx

 

[grobertson62]

I have learned there is no right or wrong way to grieve
Every one is different. Having lost both parents even the way i dealt/coped with their deaths was different
Almost a year since i lost dad and im still numb. So dont worry deal with it in your way in your time
Gill

 

[Julia58]

Thankyou all of you.
Got up today and cracked.
Haven't stopped crying all day.
I also suffer from Fibromyalgia and M.E and gone into a massive flare up.
Pains gone off the scale.
Expected this as I have had 4 years of not just dad but both later in laws who sadly passed away too.
Thinking more of dad a lot too today and the man he was not who he became.
Going up to the grave tomorrow with mum as it's Easter Sunday. Dad loved Easter time xx

 

[creativesarah]

Been thinking of you today and wondering how you were getting along.

I have Fybromyalgia too my legs have been very bad today when i said i felt like i had toothache in my legs people laughed, they have no idea

Glad you managed to let out some of what you are feeling deep inside

Much support

Sarah

 

[pamann]

Hello julia58 l lost my father 41yrs ago l was in my 20's with two young children took it all in my stride at the time, but now l get very upset when l hear certain songs that he used to sing, there hasn't been one day since his death that l have't thought of him, l have this strange feeling that he is always with me, especially now l care for my husband, as my father's profession was a psychiatric nurse in a old Victorian hospital, now turned into housing. Pamann

Sent from my GT-P5210 using Talking Point mobile app

 

[Julia58]

Not been to bad today. Funny how small things set you off.
Yes Fibromyalgia is horrific. Not been dressed today as can hardly move let alone walk.
Been thinking of happy times with dad xx