I moustache you if you perhaps are a little tired too, Winda? You have made me laugh out loud this morning!I'm getting the forms tomorrow
- Thread starter LadyA
- Start date
I moustache you if you perhaps are a little tired too, Winda? You have made me laugh out loud this morning!
At least Dementia has done one good thing for you....it has brought you to TP and friends who can and do sympathise and empathise...even if their sentiments suffer from predictive cursing!!!!!
Oh how funny. I have just realised what I said. Think I must still have been half asleep when I wrote it. Well ....... you know what I meant .... I hope ......
I'm glad it has caused amusement anyway.
Seriously though, I hope things aren't too bad while you are waiting.
Moustache you how things are today?
I'm glad it has caused amusement anyway.
Seriously though, I hope things aren't too bad while you are waiting.
Moustache you how things are today?
Just adding my hope that care will be sorted soon and you can start to relax a liitle.
Sent from my GT-N5110 using Talking Point mobile app
Sent from my GT-N5110 using Talking Point mobile app
The forms are gone off in the post. I almost snatched the envelope back from the lady in the Post Office after handing it in to be weighed and stamped! But I stood firm(ish) and the deed is done.
Today was a very good day - best in ages. He was happy and calm all day. Not a bother - but I can already see it's not going to last. By bedtime, he was just starting to get wound up when it came to undressing him. Just at "complaining and flinging clothes down in a flounce" level. But that's how it always starts, and it will most likely build up again now over the next couple of days until he blows off again.
The CPN phoned this morning - she has got him in for a weeks's respite on 21st April! She said it will at least give us an idea of how he will do in a nursing home situation, and whether they will be able to manage him. And today I went to look at another nursing home - I looked at (and put his name on the waiting list) one last week. I could see that it was an excellent facility - state of the art in fact. But I didn't like it - couldn't quite put my finger on why, but I think it was the fact that the Manager didn't ask anything about William at all and had no questions or concerns about whether he would be suitable for that nursing home! Yet it's very popular and everyone who has relatives there seems to love it. Anyway, today's home is not as popular - there was an incident there a few years ago, where a resident known to have issues with wandering and also with putting things in his mouth, managed to get hold of a latex glove that someone had left on a trolley and swallowed it, and he died. But there has been a change of management, and obviously an overhaul of safeguards in the intervenng years. So, I met the manager - a man this time - and I came away really impressed. He took a lot of details about William - his background, history, behavioural issues, medication, cultural background etc. etc. He said they have a waiting list, but he has put William on the list, and what he does is, when William gets closer to the top of the list (maybe 5th from the top), then he would come out to the house and do an assessment on him, to see if he is suitable for the nursing home, and whether he feels they could manage him there, etc. And the home has a lovely atmosphere - it's big, yet had a very quiet, calm peaceful feel to it. And it was secure - there's a security system whereby a member of staff must let you in and let you out of the main door which automatically locks and is alarmed, and all visitors have to also sign themselves in and out at Reception. But still the Reception area is like a hotel reception area - there are big (artificial but good fakes) plants, and armchairs and couches, and voile curtains draped on the front doors. And although there was a radio piped through, it wasn't over loud, and was tuned to a station suitable for the average age of the residents - not pop music blaring as I've heard in some nursing homes.
But I stood firm(ish) and the deed is done.Today was a very good day - best in ages. He was happy and calm all day. Not a bother - but I can already see it's not going to last. By bedtime, he was just starting to get wound up when it came to undressing him. Just at "complaining and flinging clothes down in a flounce" level. But that's how it always starts, and it will most likely build up again now over the next couple of days until he blows off again.
The CPN phoned this morning - she has got him in for a weeks's respite on 21st April! She said it will at least give us an idea of how he will do in a nursing home situation, and whether they will be able to manage him. And today I went to look at another nursing home - I looked at (and put his name on the waiting list) one last week. I could see that it was an excellent facility - state of the art in fact. But I didn't like it - couldn't quite put my finger on why, but I think it was the fact that the Manager didn't ask anything about William at all and had no questions or concerns about whether he would be suitable for that nursing home! Yet it's very popular and everyone who has relatives there seems to love it. Anyway, today's home is not as popular - there was an incident there a few years ago, where a resident known to have issues with wandering and also with putting things in his mouth, managed to get hold of a latex glove that someone had left on a trolley and swallowed it, and he died. But there has been a change of management, and obviously an overhaul of safeguards in the intervenng years. So, I met the manager - a man this time - and I came away really impressed. He took a lot of details about William - his background, history, behavioural issues, medication, cultural background etc. etc. He said they have a waiting list, but he has put William on the list, and what he does is, when William gets closer to the top of the list (maybe 5th from the top), then he would come out to the house and do an assessment on him, to see if he is suitable for the nursing home, and whether he feels they could manage him there, etc. And the home has a lovely atmosphere - it's big, yet had a very quiet, calm peaceful feel to it. And it was secure - there's a security system whereby a member of staff must let you in and let you out of the main door which automatically locks and is alarmed, and all visitors have to also sign themselves in and out at Reception. But still the Reception area is like a hotel reception area - there are big (artificial but good fakes) plants, and armchairs and couches, and voile curtains draped on the front doors. And although there was a radio piped through, it wasn't over loud, and was tuned to a station suitable for the average age of the residents - not pop music blaring as I've heard in some nursing homes.
I'm glad you have sent the forms off LadyA but I understand how difficult it would have been. Whenever you start to feel guilty just keep reminding yourself how difficult it is on a bad day .....
And I am pleased about the respite. It will give William a taster and you a rest. I hope it goes well.
It's difficult when choosing homes. I think recommendation is important but then on the other hand you know your husband best and it's amazing how you get a feel for a place. It seems very odd that the manager of the first care home didn't ask any questions about him. You can only do your best.
I hope you have another good day today.
And I am pleased about the respite. It will give William a taster and you a rest. I hope it goes well.
It's difficult when choosing homes. I think recommendation is important but then on the other hand you know your husband best and it's amazing how you get a feel for a place. It seems very odd that the manager of the first care home didn't ask any questions about him. You can only do your best.
I hope you have another good day today.
Whoo! William's GP must be good at rattling cages! (anyone want to borrow him?) This morning, I got a call from a Care Agency. They are under contract to the Health Service. They have been asked to provide a male Care Assistant for bathing Wm three times a week, replacing the lady that was coming twice a week. The PHN had been trying to get one for five days a week, to help me with getting him up and dressed, but the Health Service, they say no! - Still three times a week, and a big hefty man, is an improvement. Hopefully, William will be better with him. Ironically, last evening with the woman CA, William was just fine! Not a bother getting him undressed and washed. I'm wondering if it's the Ebixa, or was it just coincidence - he's been pretty chilled out today too, and a bit more "with it" than normal.
Second thing, I got a call from an OT!! It's probably at least a year since we were referred to the OT service, because even with a frame around it, I have difficulty getting William down on to the toilet. It was certainly before he became incontinent. So, today this breezy OT phones and says "we've had a referral for your husband. I believe he has a problem getting on to the toilet?" And I couldn't resist. I said "Well, when we were referred to you early last year, he did. By now, of course, he's completely incontinent. Except that now and then I catch him looking uncomfortable, and realise that he's starting a bowel movement, and I manage to get him to the toilet in time. And then, yes, he does have difficulty getting down on to it." "Oh!" she said. "And would he be fully incontinent then?" (doesn't look good on the report you see - even though it's not really their fault - blinkin' cutbacks, shortage of staff etc.) Anyway, she's coming out to see about a raised seat. But not until after his week in respite.
Oh yes! And I had a letter from the office I sent the application for nursing home funding to! Apparently bank statement printouts from my computer aren't good enough - they want "real" ones! And they want them going back six months (to make sure I haven't siphoned squillions of euro out of my accounts), and they want them within ten days. So I had to phone the bank and arrange to get them, as I do all my banking online and don't get bank statements by post. Bank says it will take up to six days for me to receive them, so it's cutting it fine! Now here's a stroke of luck! I used to be with Danske Bank, who pulled out of Ireland, so we had to switch to another Bank. And I thought to myself this morning "Oh no! Now I'm going to have to try and get statements from a closed account from Danske, and they won't be able to do that, and and and and!" - had myself in a panic! But - behold! I am six months to the very day with the new bank!! I have reached a point where that fact made my day!
) This morning, I got a call from a Care Agency. They are under contract to the Health Service. They have been asked to provide a male Care Assistant for bathing Wm three times a week, replacing the lady that was coming twice a week. The PHN had been trying to get one for five days a week, to help me with getting him up and dressed, but the Health Service, they say no! - Still three times a week, and a big hefty man, is an improvement. Hopefully, William will be better with him. Ironically, last evening with the woman CA, William was just fine! Not a bother getting him undressed and washed. I'm wondering if it's the Ebixa, or was it just coincidence - he's been pretty chilled out today too, and a bit more "with it" than normal. Second thing, I got a call from an OT!! It's probably at least a year since we were referred to the OT service, because even with a frame around it, I have difficulty getting William down on to the toilet. It was certainly before he became incontinent. So, today this breezy OT phones and says "we've had a referral for your husband. I believe he has a problem getting on to the toilet?" And I couldn't resist. I said "Well, when we were referred to you early last year, he did. By now, of course, he's completely incontinent. Except that now and then I catch him looking uncomfortable, and realise that he's starting a bowel movement, and I manage to get him to the toilet in time. And then, yes, he does have difficulty getting down on to it." "Oh!" she said. "And would he be fully incontinent then?" (doesn't look good on the report you see - even though it's not really their fault - blinkin' cutbacks, shortage of staff etc.) Anyway, she's coming out to see about a raised seat. But not until after his week in respite.
Oh yes! And I had a letter from the office I sent the application for nursing home funding to! Apparently bank statement printouts from my computer aren't good enough - they want "real" ones! And they want them going back six months (to make sure I haven't siphoned squillions of euro out of my accounts), and they want them within ten days. So I had to phone the bank and arrange to get them, as I do all my banking online and don't get bank statements by post. Bank says it will take up to six days for me to receive them, so it's cutting it fine! Now here's a stroke of luck! I used to be with Danske Bank, who pulled out of Ireland, so we had to switch to another Bank. And I thought to myself this morning "Oh no! Now I'm going to have to try and get statements from a closed account from Danske, and they won't be able to do that, and and and and!" - had myself in a panic! But - behold! I am six months to the very day with the new bank!! I have reached a point where that fact made my day!
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Must feel like you won a lottery.
6months to the day. Fantastic.
Amazing how iccle liccul things that go right make you feel
6months to the day. Fantastic.
Amazing how iccle liccul things that go right make you feel
I am pleased you are making progress with William's care, LadyA. Hopefully the male carer will have a better chance of coping with William.
I can't see the logic in you needing to get the actual statements from the bank when so many people do internet banking and are paperless. Where do they think you got the print-outs from? But I'm glad that at least you will be able to get them all from the new bank. Luck is on your side ...... finally!
I can't see the logic in you needing to get the actual statements from the bank when so many people do internet banking and are paperless. Where do they think you got the print-outs from? But I'm glad that at least you will be able to get them all from the new bank. Luck is on your side ...... finally!
Lady A, I so feel for you, I was in this position about 8 months ago, and my hubby is now in a NH, has been there for almost 3 months now, and has settled in more than I could ever imagine, I think he is so pleased to have constant company, rather than just me. The NH staff are fantastic, he still wants to come with me when I leave, and I find this a little distressing and sob all the way home, but I now am feeling that I made the right decision, as when I am not visiting he is quite happy in his own way. One word of advice, it seems to take a long time for the authorities to make their decisions, but when they agree and you eventually get a bed, they move quite quickly. I heard just after Xmas, having completed the necessary forms etc., back in Sept I am beginning to adjust to living alone, and it is very lonely and I now have "time on my hands" after all the years of caring. Keep strong, I am sure you will get the necessary result soon, and just take care of yourself.
Further developments!
The PHN phoned. She said "So, did you hear that the Care Assistant was changed?" "Yes", I said. "That's great. Three days is good - and he's already been once, and William got on great with him." "No, no" she said. "It's not 3 days. Five days is what I put in for." "Three days is what they told me." I said. "We'll see about that." she says "I told the co-ordinator we needed five days. I'll get back to you." She didn't get back to me, but the next time the Care Assistant came, he said "Did they tell you they've increased it to five days? I'll be here every morning to get William up and dressed, and three mornings we'll get him washed as well." Then the CPN phoned. "You know William is going in for the week's respite? Well, I have actually got a second week free. I didn't give it to anyone else, because I really feel you need it, and I think you should take it."
The PHN phoned. She said "So, did you hear that the Care Assistant was changed?" "Yes", I said. "That's great. Three days is good - and he's already been once, and William got on great with him." "No, no" she said. "It's not 3 days. Five days is what I put in for." "Three days is what they told me." I said. "We'll see about that." she says "I told the co-ordinator we needed five days. I'll get back to you." She didn't get back to me, but the next time the Care Assistant came, he said "Did they tell you they've increased it to five days? I'll be here every morning to get William up and dressed, and three mornings we'll get him washed as well."
Then the CPN phoned. "You know William is going in for the week's respite? Well, I have actually got a second week free. I didn't give it to anyone else, because I really feel you need it, and I think you should take it."
Am so pleased to read this.
Now when you have the two weeks respite, I seriously hope you use most of that time for yourself, things like catching up on some much needed sleep, enjoying any nice weather and doing things you enjoy but haven't been able to.
Now when you have the two weeks respite, I seriously hope you use most of that time for yourself, things like catching up on some much needed sleep, enjoying any nice weather and doing things you enjoy but haven't been able to.
Further developments!
[cut]
Then the CPN phoned. "You know William is going in for the week's respite? Well, I have actually got a second week free. I didn't give it to anyone else, because I really feel you need it, and I think you should take it."
That's really good news LadyA
Better start planning what you want to do...
So much time to yourself you may just "waste" it not being used to thinking of just yourself.
xxxxx
Petromany, this is what I'm starting to wonder about William, and settling in to residential care. I put it to him yesterday that the doctors felt he should go to a place like a "health centre" for a few days, where the staff there, nurses etc., would be working with him to try and build up his strength and improve his health. It would be like going on a holiday - and I would come and visit him while he was staying there. He said "sounds like a good idea." and seemed to understand that he would be going to stay somewhere. He always loved going away on trips - every chance he got through his life, his bag was packed, and away with him! So I'm hoping the respite will go well. But about the settling in to care, I have been wondering whether he would actually feel more secure in an environment where there were more people there. His paranoia is peeking through again, and also, I think part of him realises that he does need quite a bit of help - and there's only me here most of the time. I wonder would he feel safer surrounded by people, in a Nursing Home? We shall see.
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