Hi, First post so please excuse if I drag on. My wife J (52 years married ) was diagnosed with Alzheimer's just over 2 years ago. very short term memory but luckily can still remember people. Originally put on Galantamine but after about 1 year had a bad reaction so was put on Exelon 9.5mg patches. Had a mild stroke about 8 months ago and again luckily suffered no lasting effects with movement. Have noticed some changes lately and am wondering how to proceed. J. has never accepted she has anything wrong with her and attributes her memory loss to old age! but now has moments of not knowing where she is. In the evening she will ask "when are we going home?" and it takes time for her to realise where she is. This has also been happening whilst we are in bed, not recognising her surroundings. Should I take this further or is this another phase we are starting? We do and go everywhere together so it is difficult to speak to anyone on my own and whilst our local doctors are great, we have no one in the practice who specialises in Dementure. Have been reading other posts so any help would be appreciated. D.H.
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- Thread starter derkharri
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Hi Derkharri
It is possibly just the natural progression of the disease but I would be inclined to get her checked by a Doctor. Sometimes a urine infection can cause sudden deterioration which could be treated. Are you able to contact the Doctor and discuss this without your wife knowing or write a note to the Doctor listing your concerns and then make an appointment with your wife, so the Doctor has some idea of what is going on?
I do sympathise. It is never easy to know what to do.
x
It is possibly just the natural progression of the disease but I would be inclined to get her checked by a Doctor. Sometimes a urine infection can cause sudden deterioration which could be treated. Are you able to contact the Doctor and discuss this without your wife knowing or write a note to the Doctor listing your concerns and then make an appointment with your wife, so the Doctor has some idea of what is going on?
I do sympathise. It is never easy to know what to do.
x
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Hi Derkharri,
As Dee has said, a UTI can cause sudden deterioration/added confusion, and so can other infections and things like constipation - hopefully, its just something like that, which she can be helped with
However, the asking to go home is very common for a lot of the posters on TP Its often part of sundowning, which is a condition associated with dementia, where the person who has it experiences periods of agitation and upset. If you do a search of the site, you will find masses of information and advice about it, and if infection/constipation can be ruled out, the posts on here will give you a lot of guidance.
HTH x
As Dee has said, a UTI can cause sudden deterioration/added confusion, and so can other infections and things like constipation - hopefully, its just something like that, which she can be helped with
However, the asking to go home is very common for a lot of the posters on TP
Its often part of sundowning, which is a condition associated with dementia, where the person who has it experiences periods of agitation and upset. If you do a search of the site, you will find masses of information and advice about it, and if infection/constipation can be ruled out, the posts on here will give you a lot of guidance.HTH x
Hi derkharri. Agree with what's been said get it checked out rule out itu,s and tke it from there, TP great place to find out advice if it sundowning theres lots on here to help. Good luck lindax
We all know how these things are difficult to handle. Find some way for her to be completely checked by a neurologist or GP with special attention to her b-12 level ...That can cause some confusion also if low. Wish you the best. Let us hear from you again soon.
Hi, and welcome to the forum. The changes you mention are quite common, a loss of insight means an inability to see her own situation. As frustrating as that can be, I think it is a protection mechanism, even though it can make your life difficult since she may not realise her own limitations.
Asking about going home is also common, and as others have said, may have been triggered because of another underlying condition, Urinary Tract Infection for example. The best thing to do is be calming and reassuring, and not point out that she's already home. Distraction is a way of diverting her from the question, or simply saying it's ok, we're together and anywhere we are together is home, or say we will just be here for a bit and then we can go home. She will most likely forget in a few minutes and you will have avoided causing her alarm or anxiety.
I understand how hard it is to discuss things when your wife is with you, it is so hard because you want to protect her and not speak as though she isn't there. I used to put together an email for the dr outlining how Dad was and what was happening, and send it several days in advance so she was aware of what had been happening, but Dad didn't feel embarrassed or humiliated. Is it possible for the GP to refer your wife to a relevant specialist?
I'm sure you're doing a great job, and there is a wealth of information here to help.
Stephanie
Hello derkharri and welcome to Talking Point although it is sad you need to be here.
I am sure you will get loads of support here as many of us have experienced similar things.
My husband certainly went through a similar stage to you and it is difficult to accept the changes in someone you love so dearly. I kept a diary/log of changes in behaviour or any difficult patches during the long dementia journey. Then I would send a copy to the Mental Health Consultant (every 3/6 months) so that she was aware of the changes - apparently it was valued and assessed along with the regular memory testing.
Have you support yourself, both for emotional reasons and with a view to finding time for yourself? I remember a time when my husband would only accept me but eventually I did find outside help just to give me a break at least once a week. Whilst he objected initially before long he was great pals with the 'carer' who came weekly.
I hope you find the Forum helpful and supportive.
Best wishes
I am sure you will get loads of support here as many of us have experienced similar things.
My husband certainly went through a similar stage to you and it is difficult to accept the changes in someone you love so dearly. I kept a diary/log of changes in behaviour or any difficult patches during the long dementia journey. Then I would send a copy to the Mental Health Consultant (every 3/6 months) so that she was aware of the changes - apparently it was valued and assessed along with the regular memory testing.
Have you support yourself, both for emotional reasons and with a view to finding time for yourself? I remember a time when my husband would only accept me but eventually I did find outside help just to give me a break at least once a week. Whilst he objected initially before long he was great pals with the 'carer' who came weekly.
I hope you find the Forum helpful and supportive.
Best wishes
