Mum – Mother’s day in Hospital (long post)

[Auntiep]

Mum – home alone

Mum is home from the hospital, however the START (rehab) team who had previously been sending carers in 3 times a day have taken her off their books?! I’m sure the only reason the doctor agreed to her coming home was because care was in place, because he specifically asked me. I can’t believe this, and right at the moment I cannot cope with Mum on my own. She hasn’t had a bowel movement since Tuesday, and won’t drink or sit on the toilet for long enough. I’m managing to get some medication into her, but she’s so uncooperative. I’ve been in tears again, not sure whether its frustration, anger, hurt? She’s in pain (her back), which I guess is related to the constipation, but I can’t do any more than I am. I can’t force her to drink, or force her to have a bowel movement. She was asking for Dad again first thing this morning, and saying there are men in the house. She won’t have a wash either – she refused in the hospital too, so that’s been 5 days. Once again, I feel like a failure because basically I’m unable to take care of her.

 

[Lindy50]

What!?!

Oh auntiep, you are not a failure!!!

This sounds like an unsafe hospital discharge to me. There is no way your mum should have been discharged without care.....and I don't mean your care. You should not have to manage alone.

Firstly, could this be a miscommunication? Have you phoned the START team to check whether the hospital told them about the discharge? Worth a try.

If it's not that, I'd get on to

--- your GP

--- the Adult Social Care Team

--- the hospital social worker

Pronto and tell them you need help.

I am so sorry you are in this position, there is no way you should have to do all this. But do get help!

Sending you (((hugs)))

Lindy x

 

[Auntiep]

My cousin came to help and discovered a cannula has been left in! It's all a disaster

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[Auntiep]

Mum – Hypos

Mum has had a couple of hypos today, and each time it’s taken a lot of sugar (glucose tablets, sweet drinks etc) to get her blood glucose level above 4 again. She had a hype even though she had some dinner this evening, and then had another tonight. It’s made me wonder, does dementia affect diabetes?

I was a little concerned when the district nurse still went ahead and administered her insulin when her level was quite low. Also she didn’t wait 10 minutes and test again before saying to give Mum her meal, which is contrary to what the diabetes nurse said.

It’s all quite worrying, and just one more thing to contend with.

 

[Noorza]

I would call the diabetic nurse, let her know what is going on and get her to liaise with the district nurse. Have you had a carers assessment? If not call the council and ask for Social Services Adult Care.

I would them you are heading for carer breakdown and can't cope with mum without the care package in place and they need to get some carers for mum as an emergency.

As for the canula that's outrageous and shouldn't happen, if you have the energy write a letter of complaint or inform PALS who should be based at the hospital.

Mum's main nurse is her heart nurse, if I am not happy with anything I liaise with her and she sorts it out with other medical professionals, see if you can get the diabetic nurse on board, I have found having one main co-ordinator takes the pressure off me. She's happy as any medical changes that are made she now informs me and I make them happen. For now, for us it is working but for now is all I can say.

 

[copsham]

Hope you are ok auntiep. You are being expected to do the impossible and then blaming yourself for not doing it!

I wish the politicians could see what emergency care is like for people with dementia. Your post took me back to 15 months ago when my mother was in hospital - terrible care, on discharge we found her false teeth had not been taken out and cleaned for the whole 10 weeks of hospital "care" so were stuck in.

Why do nurses not understand dementia?? Why do they not have to spend time in a good nursing home to learn about it??

Keep strong but why not ring everyone involved explaining that you cannot go on and they are going to be responsible if something goes wrong!!

 

[Auntiep]

Thank you both for your support.

P x

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