Update and advice, please

[ceroc46]

Hello all,

Mum seems to be settling in to the nursing home ok, and is beginning to get her appetite back, albeit slowly. Although today she did ask me when she was going home, and then said I never take her home. This, of course, upset me.

Then, just as I was about to leave, I noticed that one of her front teeth was chipped which I hadn't noticed before. I visited yesterday, with my daughter, and Mum smiled and laughed a bit. Neither me nor my daughter noticed anything.

Now of course, I'm thinking and imagining the worst. How easy is it to chip a tooth? Did I do it when I was trying to feed her? Wouldn't I have noticed?

I've reported it to the home, but they say that they hadn't noticed it, but to be fair, when Mum speaks you can't see her teeth, only when she laughs or smiles.

They are going to call in the dentist.

I just seem to be sinking deeper into something; I don't know what. It seems to be more difficult since she went in.

Add to the mix, two teenagers who can't be in the same room without World War 3 breaking out!

Feeling very alone and desperate now. The guilt and sadness is becoming nearly unbearable. x

Fran

 

[marionq]

Hello all,

Mum seems to be settling in to the nursing home ok, and is beginning to get her appetite back, albeit slowly. Although today she did ask me when she was going home, and then said I never take her home. This, of course, upset me.

Then, just as I was about to leave, I noticed that one of her front teeth was chipped which I hadn't noticed before. I visited yesterday, with my daughter, and Mum smiled and laughed a bit. Neither me nor my daughter noticed anything.

Now of course, I'm thinking and imagining the worst. How easy is it to chip a tooth? Did I do it when I was trying to feed her? Wouldn't I have noticed?

I've reported it to the home, but they say that they hadn't noticed it, but to be fair, when Mum speaks you can't see her teeth, only when she laughs or smiles.

They are going to call in the dentist.

I just seem to be sinking deeper into something; I don't know what. It seems to be more difficult since she went in.

Add to the mix, two teenagers who can't be in the same room without World War 3 breaking out!

Feeling very alone and desperate now. The guilt and sadness is becoming nearly unbearable. x

Fran

As you get older the enamel on your teeth thins and chipping is very easy. It does not need to be very much eg a seed or nut in muesli could do it, or a crispy piece of bread. Try not to worry about small things because the big ones will come along to bother you and you'll have no strength left.

Best wishes.

 

[Grandma Joan]

I know exactly how you feel Ceroc and there is nothing we can do about the guilt and worry we feel except hope it will get easier over time.

I used to worry about every little bruise on my Dad but I knew full well how easily he bruised and when he was at home he had some horrendous bruises but we knew they were innocent. It is just much harder to deal with when we don't know how they occurred.

It is important to keep a very close eye which is what you are doing and be aware how the CH deal with these issues. I hope over time you will see that your Mum is being well cared for and she is settling in but it is an incredibly difficult time.

We never stop caring and worrying, and that's because we love them so much xx

 

[Jessbow]

Hey, come on, we knew it wasn't going to be easy.
Stop feeling guilty- your mum is in the best place , you have no need to feel guilty.

Try and think of it as an extension of hospital- she needs the greater level of looking after in a better-than-hospital environment.

My mum has coincidentally lost a tooth completely - neither she nor anyone else knows how or where!

I WANT TO JUMP IN MY CAR AND COME AND GIVE YOU A BIG HUG!

 

[bilslin]

Ah fran don't feel guilty your mums in the right place and as for being aloan your never alone not as long as GPs going. Try not to beat yourself up abut your mum. She's safe 24/7. So you take care lindaxx

 

[Bramble68]

My mum has lost a tooth recently, too, and its neighbour is very loose as well - think it's a race between her and my young son as to who loses teeth fastest! Seriously, though, she knows it fell out and wasn't painful, but doesn't remember what happened to it. She's just been to the dentist, unrelated, and had an old filling refilled and a wisdom tooth removed, again said neither hurt, but I'm not sure why. Dentist confirmed mum wasn't in pain - nerves losing sensitivity maybe?

Ceroc, I'm sure nothing untoward has happened, and that the CH would have told you if it had, but it's so easy to beat ourselves up - (hugs).