Mum is suffering so badly with sun downing, it is breaking my heart I just don't know how to cope anymore.
Mum is 84 and lives with my Dad 82 just round the corner from me ( only child) . Mum was diagnosed 8 years ago and because she is so anxious about strangers we have been dealing with most of the things we have encountered with support from just Mums Gp , who is brilliant and understands
. I do take her to see the M. Nurse at the referral
clinic , but unfortunately find that this is hopeless. The nurse who has worked in mental Heath for over 15 years has only just got involved in Dementia and does not know what sun downing is and when I explain how distressed Mum gets - wanting to go home , wanting her parents she looks at me and makes me feel I am exaggerating the situation. The sun downing happens everyday in the afternoon and can last for up to 4hours. Dad shouts at her, (he has a heart condition) and I then seem to be in the middle of a family eruption in a daily basis that I can't control - and i am scared
Things over the months and weeks have got worse, I get mums water samples done almost on a fortnightly basis , blood pressure checked monthly , and her education checked monthly,she is on Aricept, Lorezepin, mirtzapin and risperdal.
Dad refuses help from outsiders, he will not agree to letting me put her into rest bite for a break, a beautiful care home 5minutes away had a vacancy but had backed out at had last minute.
He says he is prepared to die rather than be separated from her, and that when he dies fine mum will have to go into care.
I know he is scared , and so am I because I am going to loose both of them, I am not just looking after a Mum but trying to care for Dad,because he is going to kill himself looking after her.
I am with them everyday for 12 hours and the come home to my husband and just sob.
Yesterday was awful , sun downing despite taking her for a ride in the car lasted, 6 hours, at one point Mum went to hit him with her handbag, he pushed her back in her chair, it was awful. My parents have been married 60 years next month and have been so happy, to see them like they now are is heartbreaking, I don't know what to do.
I have just rung Dad before going round to see how the night went and he said fine. I tried as usual to discuss what happened yesterday and he refuses to discuss it. All he says is he can handle things- but he can't. He then gets angry at me because I am crying , I know he is stressed, but so am I. I suggested again that we need help and he just puts gage phone down on me.
I am normally a well organised and practical person , but I am so scared as to what is going to happen next I can't think straight anymore .
I am sorry this is so rambling but I just needed to put my thoughts somewhere . I know there is no answer so please don't think bad of me that I just want this to end
Mum is 84 and lives with my Dad 82 just round the corner from me ( only child) . Mum was diagnosed 8 years ago and because she is so anxious about strangers we have been dealing with most of the things we have encountered with support from just Mums Gp , who is brilliant and understands
. I do take her to see the M. Nurse at the referral
clinic , but unfortunately find that this is hopeless. The nurse who has worked in mental Heath for over 15 years has only just got involved in Dementia and does not know what sun downing is and when I explain how distressed Mum gets - wanting to go home , wanting her parents she looks at me and makes me feel I am exaggerating the situation. The sun downing happens everyday in the afternoon and can last for up to 4hours. Dad shouts at her, (he has a heart condition) and I then seem to be in the middle of a family eruption in a daily basis that I can't control - and i am scared
Things over the months and weeks have got worse, I get mums water samples done almost on a fortnightly basis , blood pressure checked monthly , and her education checked monthly,she is on Aricept, Lorezepin, mirtzapin and risperdal.
Dad refuses help from outsiders, he will not agree to letting me put her into rest bite for a break, a beautiful care home 5minutes away had a vacancy but had backed out at had last minute.
He says he is prepared to die rather than be separated from her, and that when he dies fine mum will have to go into care.
I know he is scared , and so am I because I am going to loose both of them, I am not just looking after a Mum but trying to care for Dad,because he is going to kill himself looking after her.
I am with them everyday for 12 hours and the come home to my husband and just sob.
Yesterday was awful , sun downing despite taking her for a ride in the car lasted, 6 hours, at one point Mum went to hit him with her handbag, he pushed her back in her chair, it was awful. My parents have been married 60 years next month and have been so happy, to see them like they now are is heartbreaking, I don't know what to do.
I have just rung Dad before going round to see how the night went and he said fine. I tried as usual to discuss what happened yesterday and he refuses to discuss it. All he says is he can handle things- but he can't. He then gets angry at me because I am crying , I know he is stressed, but so am I. I suggested again that we need help and he just puts gage phone down on me.
I am normally a well organised and practical person , but I am so scared as to what is going to happen next I can't think straight anymore .
I am sorry this is so rambling but I just needed to put my thoughts somewhere . I know there is no answer so please don't think bad of me that I just want this to end