How can I keep mum occupied?

[Martin099]

One thing I've noticed about this evil illness is how it seem to take away all the activities that the person previously enjoyed.
My mother is 70, suffering from VD / Alzheimers. She lives at home still and receives two care visits a day, averaging 2 hours each visit, from either a carer or family.
The problem is how to keep mum busy and motivated inbetween times. She can't do jigsaw puzzles because they are beyond her ability, can't do crosswords for same reason, can't watch tv because the people are 'too real' and it scares her, can't read books because she can't read the sentences. She still loves her garden but struggles physically due to her knee pain.
I always leave the radio on for her but that's not really enough!
Any suggestions or ideas would be greatly appreciated.
We've thought about a pet cat which my brother has agreed to take on when the time comes for mum to move in to a CH....we're not sure it's a good idea though?
Martin

 

[bilslin]

Hi martin099. My mum as stopped all the things she loved her garden knitting puzzles word games. She still reads the news papers and books not sure how much goes in but sadly I had to rehomed her little dog that she had for 8-9years she wasn't looking after him and its wasn't fare on the dog or her. Also when or if the time comes for CH it would be just another thing to deal with. It was Avery hard thing for me to let the dog go and I had many sleepless nights over it. Until I got on here and spoke to some really kind people that under stood. So please think very carefully before you get an animal, because in the end my mum didn't take much notice of her lovely dog. I got my mum some colouring books and set of pencils but she's had them weeks now and not touched them. She sleeps a lot now, but just starting day centre so hopefully they will be able to get to do something. Good luck with your mum .lindaxx

 

[WirelessPaul]

The drop of all previous activities does seem to be part of the condition and Sue who was a weaver/artist, read, organised holidays, liked crosswords, photography, gardening etc, etc has two main activities left now seeing the Red kites in an area near Leeds and likes calling in to see the local baker and still watches TV (I have to turn it on/off chose the programme). She chooses to sit in silence for long parts of some days, no wireless or TV and seems to like that. We have a visitor who comes in for a day every so often who thinks, like we all do I suppose that activities are good, but Sue now seems agitated by her visits. It is so difficult to understand when still seeing the person they used to be.

Unless your Mum is asking for things to do I think you must not worry over this.

Paul

 

[Witzend]

Piles of odd socks to sort out, laundry to fold? A load of 1p and 2p coins to sort into separate jars, to help you since you don't have time to do it? A rummage box of lots of odds and ends, charity shop jewellery, etc? A very messy sewing basket (like mine!) full of umpteen cotton reels and God knows what, to tidy up? Oh, and for anyone who used to knit, how about an old hand-knitted jumper or scarf that you want unravelled and the wool wound up for something else? You'd have to start it off, though. That could take someone quite a while and not be too demanding.

However some people with dementia are apparently contented doing nothing, or very little, or just watching TV all day. My mother was - she couldn't cope with anything more, though we did try. As someone else said, unless the person is very obviously in need of something to do, I wouldn't worry too much.

 

[Raggedrobin]

Its so variable depending on the type and stage, isn't it? My mum couldn't deal with rummaging/sorting at all. she stopped reading having been a great reader all her life, but I read an interesting thing about reinventing what reading is and found that if i go through a book with pictures with her, she will take an interest, so for example I found a book of butterflies and we went through it looking at a blue one, or an admiral (naming the once familiar ones) etc.

I also found some books of poetry, nice, happy sorts of poems about animals and stuff, with accompanying pictures, and read out the poems, enjoyed that, it is the rhythm of the words in poetry as much as the actual words.

nonetheless I am needing more things to do with her, I hope people keep the suggestions coming on here.

 

[Beenie]

I have found colouring has kept my uncle occupied for hours, I download more grown up pictures from the internet and ask him to colour them to use as pictures in frames, I gave all relatives one as a present at christmas, we are now doing birthday presents, poundland have great frames. I also find 'you've been framed' a life saver as he doesn't have the concentration to watch many program's but will watch hours of people hurting themselves!

 

[Margaret79]

I keep a box of coins for MIL to sort when she gets bored. It takes her all day, she feels useful. She doesn't know, of course, that as soon as she gives me the bags of sorted coins I empty them back into the box for next time!

I also tear used postage stamps from envelopes and when I get a batch I get her to cut round the stamps neatly.

At the moment she is also still able to iron so she gets anything that I don't mind getting ruined, so gardening clothes, tea towels etc.

She likes looking at books about where she was born and lived most of her life. We find as many with pictures and few words as possible and she loves reminising. The great thing is that she doesn't remember so we take a couple of books away at a time and then re introduce them and she thinks that she has new books

 

[WirelessPaul]

Reading through the comments I suppose we have to realise that even though changed by Alzheimer's people are still all different. Things that Sue (65) does like are pamper things. There is a lady at the Alzheimer's society that can give therapies like Reki and once a fortnight she enjoys that, she also seems to enjoy having her hands massaged, can send her to sleep, and going to the hairdressers. Leaving a wireless on would be OK for a while but then become a real pain for her as she would be unable to turn it off. CD's can be good and favourites like the bolero music or the musical War of the Worlds can be played again and again. I cannot see Sue wanting to sort things at all, mind you I have not tried that.

Paul

 

[lulubel]

D'you know I've noticed almost exactly the same with mum. I'm aware that her concentration level is much much lower now. Where she would watch a 1-2 hour drama on TV, she now watches chat shows, game shows and (you've alerted me!) You've been framed!! She gets a newspaper ever day, and goes through the motions, but doesn't really take it in. She assures 'the important people' that she reads regularly, but I've never seen her read a book in ages. She's always been an outdoor person, and now she won't go out on her own, so she has no hobbies, but now does not have the capacity/willingness to learn anything new.
Its a real problem, to judge the level of activity she needs. Not too challenging and not too patronising....... God this disease drives me nuts!!!!!
Lulu xx

 

[spuddle]

I have just joined this forum today and am new to this. I have found my mum wont engage in anything on her own but if I ask her for help with cleaning and household chores she gets stuck in. she has always been very giving and caring, looking after my dads needs till he passed away last year.

she seems to thrive in helping people so I give her little tasks, saying how much it would help me if she did this or that. im aware that I don't want to overwhelm her, if she does something wrong (I don't tell her but she knows) she gets really down on herself, beating herself up. im at the bottom of the learning curve and hopefully I will find advice here from people who have been through and going through similar issues.

 

[Witzend]

She assures 'the important people' that she reads regularly, but I've never seen her read a book in ages. :

My mother had been an avid reader and one of the very first signs of AD was when she was on holiday with my sister, who noticed that she was beginning the same book over and over. Sister did not pick up at the time that it was the onset of AD - it was only later, with the dreaded hindsight....

Once she lost the ability to follow any sort of plot on TV we found wildlife documentaries useful - that is until she began to think there were orang outans rampaging about upstairs... There was a documentary series about enormously fat people in America and this went down very well while it lasted. It was, 'dear oh dear!' over and over again. While I dislike any sort of 'freak show' TV must say I was glad of this one at the time. I wished later that I had thought to record it, since I'm sure she would have watched it ad infinitum.

 

[Auntiep]

My mum seems to like crime shows, eg CSI NCIS Mentalist. . .? I wonder if its the good looking men

Sent from my GT-I9195 using Talking Point mobile app

 

[Raggedrobin]

Ah yes, you just reminded me about the wildlife documentaries. Mum likes the cute stuff and anything with dolphins in it. she can't follow a plot now.

 

[frustrated1962]

The carer's told us to get some dominoes also snakes and ladders. My Auntie loves playing them.
Just an idea, might be worth a try