Hi,
Some may have read my posts on End of Life forum section.Its 4 weeks this Sunday and I still feel numb and in disbelief .I just keep thinking Mum will walk back in sometime soon,that she has been somewhere else for a while but will soon be back .
I'm sorry if what I post next maybe Triggering for others but I need to be able to share it with people who may understand .
In 4 months Mum went from walking around with her frame and making supper for Dad to being robbed of her mind and body to Alzheimers.She passed on January 19th.
I don't really know how to put this into words so please forgive me if it doesn't read well.
The Mum I cared and nursed at home and whose hand I held and hair I stroked as she slowly went into deeper levels of unconsciousness over several days physically looked nothing like Mum .She literally looked like someone else ,her physical appearance and facial features and expressions were nothing like my Mum.This Mum was so terribly emaciated ,her face so contorted and sunken .I was fine caring for her,talking to her,singing to her and praying for her,bathing her etc and kissing her forehead but I had no idea that the Alzheimers would literally destroy her body as well as her mind right in front of my eyes .It was terrible and the images I see in my mind are of that Mum and not my Mum .I can't believe how or why the Alzheimers could destroy her in a matter of months .Over the first few years of the Early Onset Alzheimers the progress of the disease was very gradual .I can't understand how it could do what it did in such a short time .
Throughout Mums illness I was always very realistic about how things would progress and knew that eventually it would take Mums life but I don't think I really knew the degree of change it would make on her appearance .Please don't misunderstand ,I love Mum no matter what but the Mum in the bed had no resemblance to My Mum .
I just don't seem to believe that My Mum and that Mum could be the same .
I'm sorry if any of this is triggering for others but I just don't know who to talk to.
Thanks for listening
Lottie x
Some may have read my posts on End of Life forum section.Its 4 weeks this Sunday and I still feel numb and in disbelief .I just keep thinking Mum will walk back in sometime soon,that she has been somewhere else for a while but will soon be back .
I'm sorry if what I post next maybe Triggering for others but I need to be able to share it with people who may understand .
In 4 months Mum went from walking around with her frame and making supper for Dad to being robbed of her mind and body to Alzheimers.She passed on January 19th.
I don't really know how to put this into words so please forgive me if it doesn't read well.
The Mum I cared and nursed at home and whose hand I held and hair I stroked as she slowly went into deeper levels of unconsciousness over several days physically looked nothing like Mum .She literally looked like someone else ,her physical appearance and facial features and expressions were nothing like my Mum.This Mum was so terribly emaciated ,her face so contorted and sunken .I was fine caring for her,talking to her,singing to her and praying for her,bathing her etc and kissing her forehead but I had no idea that the Alzheimers would literally destroy her body as well as her mind right in front of my eyes .It was terrible and the images I see in my mind are of that Mum and not my Mum .I can't believe how or why the Alzheimers could destroy her in a matter of months .Over the first few years of the Early Onset Alzheimers the progress of the disease was very gradual .I can't understand how it could do what it did in such a short time .
Throughout Mums illness I was always very realistic about how things would progress and knew that eventually it would take Mums life but I don't think I really knew the degree of change it would make on her appearance .Please don't misunderstand ,I love Mum no matter what but the Mum in the bed had no resemblance to My Mum .
I just don't seem to believe that My Mum and that Mum could be the same .
I'm sorry if any of this is triggering for others but I just don't know who to talk to.
Thanks for listening
Lottie x