Am I giving in to easily.

[Lovleemummy]

Up date on Garry

Garry does seem a little more settled the last few days. He has been aggressive when the nurses are washing or changing him but they just leave him for a few minutes then go back. When he needs his pad changing 2 go in with him 1 to change him & 1 to distract him.

We have got a meeting with the consultant on Monday so will she what she says.

I think things are catching up with me I've been so tired the last few days with no energy. I go to see Garry in the afternoons it takes over an hour each way on the bus, my family go up most nights. I feel guilty about not going at night but it would be to much. I just know he's in the best place and the nurses keep saying what a lovely man he is.

 

[Lovleemummy]

Update on Garry

Things are moving on now. We had a the meeting on Monday with the consultant, so we now have to start looking for EMI nursing homes. They are putting Garry forward for CHC funding, so we will have to see.

Can I ask if anyone has had this before? There isn't many homes that can take Garry and my concern is if down the line this funding is passed over to LA and would Garry have to move as the home we like the look of from brochures is very expensive. We haven't been to see any yet so no decision has been made.

Also one of the homes has been in the local paper. One of the staff has been abusive to a resident. This happened a couple of years ago but it's in court at the moment. This one would be ideal as it's only down the road but it does worry me.
So many decisions to be made

Garry has settled really now at the hospital but there has been some aggression towards the nurses. At least 2 nurses have to attend to him for personal care.
I'm sure someone will be able to help answer my questions.
Thanks xxx

 

[CollegeGirl]

I can't answer your questions but just wanted to send my love and support xx

Edit just to add - don't worry about the home with the abusive carer. That carer has been removed, and now the home will be monitored closely and could well end up being very much better because of it.

 

[Lovleemummy]

I can't answer your questions but just wanted to send my love and support xx

Edit just to add - don't worry about the home with the abusive carer. That carer has been removed, and now the home will be monitored closely and could well end up being very much better because of it.

Thank you again CG you are always there to offer your support which especially at this time is really appreciated. You are probably right about the home. When we visit next week I will ask them about it.

Love & Best wishes to you & your Family

 

[Chaiah]

I just joined this forum, today, and saw your post. Lovleemummy, you are absolutely NOT letting your husband down. In fact, you're doing what's best for him and yourself. How would your family feel if he lost control and either seriously injured you or even killed you due to his dementia? If he's exhibiting violent behaviors at home, then he may need more than you can provide. That's not a weakness, dear. It's simply a fact. This illness is not a simple skinned knee that may require a bandage...

You keep your chin up. Take at least an hour a day to do something for yourself. Make your favorite bread! take a walk in a meadow, paint a pretty picture, write a poem... You'll still love your husband. That won't fade, but he needs you to be healthy and strong. That is the best gift you can give him. <3

Chaiah

I don't know how I'm feeling today

The CPN came to see us yesterday and things have been put in motion for Garry to go into a nursing home. I know in my heart of hearts that the time is right but I totally feel I'm letting him down. I'm saying to my self- I should be able to manage/I can control his moods etc........ But in reality I can't. Sunday night it took a nasty turn when I got myself on the wrong side of him and he punched me, I wasn't hurt but it did shake me up, I was trying to change him as once again the bed & him were soaking wet. Then in the morning the bed was wet again. He again went for me but I manage to get out of the bedroom but then he spat at me. I left him alone for awhile then he did it again. He did have a wash in the afternoon but that's fine. As silly as it sounds the spitting at me upset me more (don't know why).

He was so loving later in the day which makes this decision all the harder. We will have been married for 41 years next Monday. This man is my love & my life ❤️

Garry is going into emergency respite this week. So my family and I will have to start looking for somewhere for Garry to go We will also go to see his mum who is 83 and tell her (not looking forward to that)

I have taken all the advise my TP friends have given me, all of which has been marvellous. It was one of the best things I have ever joined as you know people are there for me.

Will keep you posted. xxx

 

[Lovleemummy]

Well today has been awful!!! Myself & my daughter have this week been looking around for nursing homes for Garry. Today as we were going to another one I had a phone call from the ward Garry is on. The thing is I was running late & I didn't see that a message had been left on my phone at home. While we were on the bus I get a call on my mobile to say Garry had, had a seizure this morning and had been taken to A&E. The panic I felt, it took me what seemed like an age to get to him. Why is it that when something happens you miss that important call and the ward couldn't find my mobile number so rang my doctors to get it

My poor daughter who is always my rock finally broke down when she came to see her dad when we got back to the ward. Hopefully he won't have anymore seizures but you just don't know.

My poor Garry I feel is slipping more away from me. He was so disorientated and didn't seem to know me, my son or daughter. Its the old saying one step forward two steps back.