Mum recently diagnosed

Armygirl

Registered User
Feb 1, 2014
14
0
Hi

I am a new member as my mum has recently been diagnosed with alzheimers and vascular dementia. I have been looking at this forum and can see how supportive it is. So I have no doubt I wil be asking lots of questions and seking the valuable support that members provide. :)
 

juniepoonie

Registered User
Jun 11, 2013
727
0
essex
hello armygirl you will be well supported in your journey here on TP theres always someone who can give some advice or just be here for you when you need someone to listen. My BIL had VD an AD so I know some of what you may be going through. my BIL was only about 60 when he started showing signs he is 66 now an recently went into a NH because his condition deteriated an my sister got ill. keep posting wish you an your mum well juniepoonie
 

jeany123

Registered User
Mar 24, 2012
19,034
0
74
Durham
Hello Armygirl and welcome to Talking Point you will find plenty of advice and support on here,

Best Wishes, Jeany x
 

snowygirl

Registered User
Jan 9, 2014
151
0
Hello Armygirl and welcome to Talking Point you will find plenty of advice and support on here,

Best Wishes, Jeany x

Hi Armygirl I only joined TP a few days ago and my dad has exactly the same diagnosis as your mum. Ive already been given some good advice and I'm hoping that by joining this forum we will get the advice and help that we need to guide us through this awful disease and help us to do the best for our parents. Best Wishes
 

Armygirl

Registered User
Feb 1, 2014
14
0
Thanks!!

To all of you out there and those that have sent messages of welcome and especailly to to you Snowygirl - thank you for you for your kind messages. Here we a go on our jourrney!!

Mum agreed to an OT assessment as she is also quite weak on her legs and she can't get and out of the bath. She loves her bath and I have helped her up till recently, but due to a worsening back condition - I can no longer help her out. So I, being the dutiful daughter, got the OT out with mum's agreement and equipment was delivered and installed to help her. Does she want it now... does she heck. I had to get them to come and pick it up - she would not even try it.

Then after I change my shopping day to a dreaded Sat ( I work fulltime) and shop so that I can take her to Sainsburys (she hates Morrisons - not sure why....) and therefore she can go to the supermarket that she likes...even though it's further and more of a pain to get to than our local (yes Morrrisons). Guess what...she doesn't want to go shopping in Sainsbury's any more!!!!!!

This is hard work!!!!:eek:
 

Pookie

Registered User
Dec 29, 2011
1,065
0
O dear. You needs cuddles too.

Sent from my GT-I8190N using Talking Point mobile app
 

Lambie

Registered User
Feb 8, 2014
2
0
Newly diagnosed

Hi my name is Marion and my mum has been diagnosed only last week with ALtzheimers although I guessed. I have arranged everything at home to make her safe but she is against everything. Saying she is alright and stop fussing. She unplugged her lovely day/date clock and took from under her mattress her bed alarm. I'm fighting a losing battle. So frustrating
 

Lambie

Registered User
Feb 8, 2014
2
0
Patience

Hi it's MArion again. Just wondered why as working for a care agency I have so much patience with my clients but when it comes to my mum I DO NOT !!!!
 

carol4444

Registered User
Feb 5, 2014
109
0
Hi, my mum just diagnosed thus week. Feels like a bad dream. Guess I can't cry for years and years so will need to get used to it. In the meantime making the most of her company whilst we still can, need to tell them we love them. Difficult to try and act normally when it breaks your heart.
 

Armygirl

Registered User
Feb 1, 2014
14
0
Patience

Hi it's MArion again. Just wondered why as working for a care agency I have so much patience with my clients but when it comes to my mum I DO NOT !!!!

Hi Lambie I am a family support worker and have the patience of a saint with them....but struggle with mum!! Maybe it's because it's so close we can't be objective. However after a difficult day with some families I work with I come home emotionally drained from that and have to sum up strength to deal with whatever Mum is going to throw my way. Usually I come home to a few distraught voicemail messages on the phone over the day (she has forgotton my mobile even though the number is listed next to her phone and is on a speedial button).

Byt the time I get home and speak to her she can be very anxious. I often think it woudl be easier to give up work but there I can't afford to so that answers that!!! I always try and make sure mum is first over work but it's so hard to juggle. I am already beginning to feel wornout!!!:(
 

Spamar

Registered User
Oct 5, 2013
7,723
0
Suffolk
It's different when it's a loved one. I really don't know why. My OH has a foot problem which needs dressing at least twice a week. Of course I can do it, I said. But when it came to it, I could not do a dressing which I knew would be extremely painful ( I think that was the deciding factor).
 

LYN T

Registered User
Aug 30, 2012
6,958
0
Brixham Devon
Hi it's MArion again. Just wondered why as working for a care agency I have so much patience with my clients but when it comes to my mum I DO NOT !!!!

Hi Marion

Could it be because you are worried/scared/ and emotionally involved? A carer at my Husband's CH says she loves her job (she is VERY good) but doing it for a member of her family-well she just wouldn't be able to cope.

Take care

Lyn T
 

Saffie

Registered User
Mar 26, 2011
22,513
0
Near Southampton
I do Saffie why?
Only because I was responding to your post where you said your mother wouldn't go to Morrison's and had taken against Sainsbury's, so I was trying to think where else you could take her to shop.
 

Armygirl

Registered User
Feb 1, 2014
14
0
Only because I was responding to your post where you said your mother wouldn't go to Morrison's and had taken against Sainsbury's, so I was trying to think where else you could take her to shop.

Oh yes great idea - sorry Saffie you can see my brain has gone numb already - can't think straight!! I have a week off from work this week and intend to do all those things I don't get time to do - including bits for mum!!!

I will try Asda!!
 

legolover

Registered User
Jul 25, 2011
166
0
West Midlands
Hi armygirl and welcome again.

regarding the issue of the bath lift,exactly the same thing happened to me with MIL. She had the OT assessment and "kind of " agreed to the bath lift. When it was delivered she told them to take it away as she was "perfectly capable, thank you". 6 months went by in which the bath remained unused, although if asked she would tell you she had had a bath. I then contacted OT again and they agreed to try again with the bath lift. By now she was having a morning carer come in. The carer now baths her once a week and she sits on the bath lift no problem when the carer tells her to.

Don't whatever you do damage your back further by trying to help her without the bath aid. Give it time and she may come round.
Best of luck x
 

Bramble68

Registered User
May 11, 2013
32
0
Hello armygirl, I don't post much, but read a lot on here, lots of helpful people! My mum has VD and AD, diagnosed last autumn, but we suspected months before. She's not too bad most of the time, we don't have to do too much yet, but the power of attorney will be through soon, so my brother and I can take over sorting her bills etc for her. She told me this week that she feels like "all these modern things are slipping out of my grasp", including understanding things like changing her bank account to a better one, paying things by direct debit, etc., so it is beginning, albeit slowly for now.

I have days when I feel really upbeat about it all, then days when I remember my grandma's descent (mum's mum), and it scares me to death and I feel like crying - thank goodness for my lovely hubby, rest of the family, and the posters on here! :)