Am I giving in to easily.

[Lovleemummy]

Garry had not to bad a night. Wouldn't go to bed till late and was up a few times. He was so pleased to see me this afternoon, he was taking me to the door (wanted to go).

His brother & our daughter went to visit last night and he was agitated. He was hanging on to our daughter. Garry likes to carry a book around with him. He has a couple of Beatles books which when he is at home he likes to look at, so I took one into day and he was pleased with that.

I was surprised that although he did have a shower & a shave he had the same T shirt on. So will check on that tomorrow. It could be that the nurses just left him today as he also had his pyjamas bottoms on rather than his trousers. Just glad he has had a shower.

I didn't sleep to well last night either so hoping for a better night.

 

[Lovleemummy]

Garry a lot more settled today. Has had a strop with the nurses but they just let him be and when they went back to him he was ok. He is still to have some tests the nurses will try another day.
So glad he was ok when I left, he came to the door with the nurse but wouldn't wave me off. My son, daughter & grandson are going tonight.
There is a lovely lady who has taken to looking after him, bless.

 

[MeganCat]

Good to hear he is more settled.

 

[Lovleemummy]

Good to hear he is more settled.

Thanks Megancat felt so relieved.

 

[Noorza]

I hope he's had a better night and you too.

 

[Izzy]

I'm so sorry for you situation. It seems to me you have no alternative, hard though it might be. Wishing you strength for the days and weeks to come. I hope you find somewhere suitable soon. x

 

[Lovleemummy]

I'm so sorry for you situation. It seems to me you have no alternative, hard though it might be. Wishing you strength for the days and weeks to come. I hope you find somewhere suitable soon. x

Thanks Izzy we have a couple of places in mind but as Garry is going to be in hospital quite a few weeks will leave looking till my son is off work at half term.

I didn't go to see Garry yesterday (Saturday) the guilt I felt was awful, but I had a few things to get so many birthdays this month. It is also our 41st wedding anniversary on Monday .
My daughter did go up for evening visiting and he was in bed, just chilling as my daughter put it. As a rule you can't sit in the rooms but the nurse let them they sat looking at his Beatles book and she read to him. The book seems to be like a comfort blanket to him.
Me & my son are going up this afternoon. I do hope they have managed to do all his tests fingers crossed.

 

[SnowLeopard17]

Dear Lovleemummy, i haven't been on TP for some time and logging in today i came across your post.
We as a family faced a similar situation back in September last year and my husband was sectioned and admitted into a specialised dementia unit for assessment.
I just wanted to let you know that i understand how difficult and distressing it can be for everyone and if i can support you in any way please don't hesitate to ask.
SnowLeopard, with love and hugs x

 

[Lovleemummy]

Dear Lovleemummy, i haven't been on TP for some time and logging in today i came across your post.
We as a family faced a similar situation back in September last year and my husband was sectioned and admitted into a specialised dementia unit for assessment.
I just wanted to let you know that i understand how difficult and distressing it can be for everyone and if i can support you in any way please don't hesitate to ask.
SnowLeopard, with love and hugs x

Thank you SnowLeopard. It was the best thing for me finding TP I can talk about things without worrying my family to much. I know would say they want to know but on here people have been though similar situations and can give great advice. Hope things are better for you too. ((((Big Hugs)))) xx

 

[SnowLeopard17]

I agree with you entirely. TP, for me, has been akin to a lifeline over the past couple of years. It is good to talk to people who can really understand and empatheise and to gain knowledge from others experiences.

We are currently awaiting approval for a nursing home placement for my husband 10 mins from home. He is now off all medications and i am very happy to find him more relaxed and calm than i have seen him for a long time - in truth he is calmer because of the severe progression of his dementia and this saddens me deeply - what a dichotomy.

SnowLeopard, with love x
Time to practice my hugs (((((big hugs too)))))

 

[LYN T]

Hi Lovleemummy

I've just read through your thread again. I just wanted you to know that I understand your pain. My OH is 67 (severe stage AD and bi-polar) I am 55. You could have been almost writing our 'story'

Pete also has spent time in an assessment ward -he has been sectioned 5 times in almost eight years (4 times in the last 20 months). It's heartbreaking but meds can control the symptoms. Pete is also violent and it's very frightening when a man, much bigger than you, kicks off. Pete went to a CH June 26 2013 and initially he was calm-so calm I actually posted that on TP that I was thinking of bringing him home. Fellow TP'ers, who are much wiser than me, advised against it. They were right as P was again sectioned before Xmas (violence) to have his meds 'tweaked'.

The violence and the spitting you have experienced is not your Husband-the Dementia erodes the person we know. Before AD my Husband was the most gentle person you could ever meet.

Please take care

Lyn T

 

[CollegeGirl]

Hi Lovleemummy, I've just caught up with your thread. Sorry to hear that Garry is in hospital, but also relieved for you, too. You know he is safe, and so are you now. It will give you some breathing space.

I hope you can find a good nursing home that you are happy with. I'm sure you will. Try not to let the guilt get you down. It's hard not to feel it, isn't it, but keep telling yourself that you are doing the right thing, because you are. Absolutely.

Just imagine the alternative, you trying to carry on and cope, then if Garry had another violent episode and really hurt you and you were incapacitated - what would happen then? Think how that would affect your family.

That can't be allowed to happen, so you are definitely on the right path now, as hard as it is to bear. I hope that doesn't sound harsh or patronising - I'm trying to comfort you, perhaps not very well!

With much love and best wishes xx

 

[Lovleemummy]

Hi Lovleemummy

I've just read through your thread again. I just wanted you to know that I understand your pain. My OH is 67 (severe stage AD and bi-polar) I am 55. You could have been almost writing our 'story'

Pete also has spent time in an assessment ward -he has been sectioned 5 times in almost eight years (4 times in the last 20 months). It's heartbreaking but meds can control the symptoms. Pete is also violent and it's very frightening when a man, much bigger than you, kicks off. Pete went to a CH June 26 2013 and initially he was calm-so calm I actually posted that on TP that I was thinking of bringing him home. Fellow TP'ers, who are much wiser than me, advised against it. They were right as P was again sectioned before Xmas (violence) to have his meds 'tweaked'.

The violence and the spitting you have experienced is not your Husband-the Dementia erodes the person we know. Before AD my Husband was the most gentle person you could ever meet.

Please take care

Lyn T

Morning Lyn T thank you for that. My husband to is a very gentle man and if he knew what he was doing he would be horrified. He is still very loving as soon as I see him he kisses & cuddles me & always sits holding my hand, but it's awful when the violence starts.

Can I ask are you on your own at home? I don't feel like doing anything, I'm sitting in bed writing this feeling quite lonely. I have wonderful friends & family around me but still feel lost without my Garry here. I will need to get up as my daughter usually calls around this time. This illness is so horrendous takings hold of so many young & old alike. Like you we should be enjoying this time of our lives.
Love & Best Wishes xxx

 

[LYN T]

Morning Lyn T thank you for that. My husband to is a very gentle man and if he knew what he was doing he would be horrified. He is still very loving as soon as I see him he kisses & cuddles me & always sits holding my hand, but it's awful when the violence starts.

Can I ask are you on your own at home? I don't feel like doing anything, I'm sitting in bed writing this feeling quite lonely. I have wonderful friends & family around me but still feel lost without my Garry here. I will need to get up as my daughter usually calls around this time. This illness is so horrendous takings hold of so many young & old alike. Like you we should be enjoying this time of our lives.
Love & Best Wishes xxx

Yes I am on my own-well I have two cats and my wonderful little dog who is a lovely companion. My daughter/grandson/son-in-law live nearly two hours away but I see them regularly. I'm sorry you are feeling lonely. Funnily enough I don't but I think that#s because I moved house last year (our last one had steep steps outside and Pete was having difficulty walking up them.) Pete moved with me but was only here for a few months before moving to his CH. So this is more my place than his-it would have been unbearable for me to stay in the old home on my own. So many happy memories as well as the despair over Pete being ill. And it was old and very expensive to run.

So as I say I don't feel lonely as such (I do have good friends) but I do have periods of depression where I don't want to do much (so I understand you staying in bed) But my dog needs walking so that stops staying in bed for me. I've also got a part time job (4 hours a day so I still visit P every day) so that helps. My friends think I should get some pills from the GP (except I haven't got one) but I think it's quite normal to feel depression when one is a carer. It's not as though I don't know what is causing my low mood. So I try to do something that needs doing every day. I'm just about to start the ironingI suppose the thought of that would make some people more depressed but for me it's an achievement

Take care and try not to worry too much.

You are doing the right thing

Lyn T

 

[Lovleemummy]

Happy Anniversary to my Garry Love You xxxx

Well today is our 41st Wedding Anniversary. I am really missing Garry this morning. I will be going to see him the afternoon but it's not the same. Have got him a card and think Ill take some nice biscuits in for him. We would normally go out for a nice meal.

Garry was not to good yesterday very lethargic. He always gives me a hug & a kiss when I see him & when I leave but not yesterday. He wouldn't let the nurses wash or shave him yesterday. His Beatles book was missing yesterday so the nurse said she would try and find it (it can't be far). Will see how he is today.

I'm going to the doctors this morning as my Psoriasis has flared up and is driving me mad . The CPN recommended I get some sort of calmers but have always been wary of things like that but I'm feeling really down at the moment so maybe I should!!!

 

[Pookie]

I am so sorry for you and your family.

Peter&Jean Pookie

 

[Lovleemummy]

I am so sorry for you and your family.

Peter&Jean Pookie

Thank you Peter & Jean

Garry was better today got hugs & kisses as well. His mum has been to see him as well, she does get upset seeing Garry as he is.

 

[Irishgirl57]

Well today is our 41st Wedding Anniversary. I am really missing Garry this morning. I will be going to see him the afternoon but it's not the same. Have got him a card and think Ill take some nice biscuits in for him. We would normally go out for a nice meal.

Garry was not to good yesterday very lethargic. He always gives me a hug & a kiss when I see him & when I leave but not yesterday. He wouldn't let the nurses wash or shave him yesterday. His Beatles book was missing yesterday so the nurse said she would try and find it (it can't be far). Will see how he is today.

I'm going to the doctors this morning as my Psoriasis has flared up and is driving me mad . The CPN recommended I get some sort of calmers but have always been wary of things like that but I'm feeling really down at the moment so maybe I should!!!

Happy anniversary lovie and Garry!

I hope some of your happy memories can bring you peace today. Sending lots of love and hugs

Grateful and blessed, Donna

 

[CollegeGirl]

Happy anniversary to you both, and I'm glad you had a good visit with hugs and kisses, that must have meant a lot to you.

I can understand how upsetting it must be for Garry's mum to see him, it must be awful for her.

x

 

[marycakes]

Thank you Peter & Jean

Garry was better today got hugs & kisses as well. His mum has been to see him as well, she does get upset seeing Garry as he is.

Hope things go on OK for you.