A new stage in my life...................

Status
Not open for further replies.

nellbelles

Volunteer Host
Nov 6, 2008
9,842
0
leicester
I received a letter of condolence from Dhiren`s GP`s Practice today. They are not my GPs and yet I have been offered bereavement counselling. Is this what usually happens?

I no idea, but at least it shows some compassion and understanding, the bereavement counselling, only you can decide on that. xx
 

garnuft

Registered User
Sep 7, 2012
6,585
0
Call me cynical but I bet if you took them up on the offer, there would be a six month wait.
 

sallyc

Registered User
Aug 20, 2008
1,674
0
47
suffolk
Oh Sylvia. I am thinking of you. I want you to know that.

I don't have anything helpful to add. I wish I did. It's so hard isn't it xxx
 

piedwarbler

Registered User
Aug 3, 2010
7,189
0
South Ribble
My mum's GP practice were obstructive about the brain donation and didn't offer condolences let alone counselling so very far from my experience Sylvia! X
 

DeborahBlythe

Registered User
Dec 1, 2006
9,222
0
Call me cynical but I bet if you took them up on the offer, there would be a six month wait.

I'm cynical too. I think if you took them up on it someone would suddenly realise you weren't their patient, and withdraw the offer. I'd be happy to be proven wrong.
 

jeany123

Registered User
Mar 24, 2012
19,034
0
74
Durham
Just sending love, and thank you for all the support you have given me and everyone else, you have helped a lot of people and am sure that you will continue to do so xx
 

Skye

Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
17,000
0
SW Scotland
Sylvia, I was offered, and accepted, bereavement counselling when John died. We both had the same doctor, and the practice employs a counsellor, so there was no waiting. It was only for three to six sessions though, and I didn't find it particularly helpful.

I was told I could opt for referral to the psychiatric unit instead, but there would be a long wait for an appointment.

I think these days when practices are run as independent businesses it's cheaper for them to buy in their own than to refer.

I'm not sure why you would be offered this when it is not your practice though?

Also not sure if the above applies to England.

Hope you're OK. You're right to take things at your own pace.
 

Mameeskye

Registered User
Aug 9, 2007
1,669
0
60
NZ
Hi Sylvia,

Just found your thread here. I am not surprised at all that you are numb and feel adrift. I remember complete exhaustion when Mum finally left us, even though it had been expected for so long...my brain just seemed to cease functioning. After thee weeks I tried to work again, but it took a little longer...a couple of months.

It was not just grieving for Mum, but for an old lifestyle, for the friends I had made in the nursing home I was no longer seeing regularly, for the lack of that caring role, no matter how hard it had become, wishing there had been just one more cup of tea....

Take your time to come to terms with all that has happened. Take your time to relax and let your thoughts wander to times past, present and future....Dhiren will be with you and in time you will feel some joy once more interspersed with some pain, which decreases as time passes.

Love n hugs

Mameeskye
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
81,455
0
Kent
So far so good, and certainly not feeling the need for counselling. I just want to be alone with my thoughts and feelings and am not ready to be with people yet, apart from Paul.

He`s been round every day even though he`s back at work. He was very upset yesterday. He`d accidentally wiped his phone clean , including precious photos and videos of Dhiren. When he realised what he`d done, he felt he`d been kicked. He had no back up because his personal computer is old and slow and gets on his nerves and he doesn`t put personal stuff on his work computer.

So I spent a good while yesterday emailing him all I had. It kept me busy.

Tomorrow I have to go to London to see an eye specialist. I`m having some visual disturbances.
 

flowerpot

Registered User
Jul 27, 2010
2,450
0
65
Rural North Northumberland
Oh that must have been devastating for Paul. How sad for him.

When my FiL died one of the doctors wrote a hand written letter to my oh and we don't know if this is usual or not. There was no mention of councilling though.

Thinking of you Sylvia. All you can do is take one day at a time and be kind to yourself xx

Sent from my XT1032 using Talking Point mobile app
 

winda

Registered User
Oct 17, 2011
2,037
0
Nottinghamshire
Dear Sylvia,
I can remember only wanting to be with my family for a while after my husband died. And I never felt able to return to the NH but like you I sent a thank you present with my son.

My GP's surgery didn't offer bereavement counselling so after a couple of months I tried Cruise (it was just after Christmas and I was feeling down). I decided it wasn't for me but I'm sure it is good for some people. I think it was mostly the support from my family that helped me through.

It is such a shame about the photos and videos - they really are so precious. I can understand how Paul must feel.
I am pleased that Paul is round to see you each day. You will be a great comfort for one another.

Good luck with your visit to the eye hospital tomorrow. Something you could do without at this time but you are wise to have them checked out.
 
Last edited:

geum123

Registered User
May 20, 2009
4,604
0
Dear Sylvia,
Oh Paul must be so upset. I believe there are recovery programs apparently which will restore deleted photos from phones.
It's way beyond my capabilities, but Paul I'm sure will be more in tune with modern technology.
I suggest a Google (how to recover deleted photos on phones) might come up with more info. Meanwhile I think he shouldn't use the phone for photos in case he overwrites the others......:confused:

All I wanted after Dads funeral was a quiet time to reflect too.
I also found going out and doing normal things difficult at first.
I felt disconnected from what was going on around me.

I hope you have company with you, for your visit to the eye hospital tomorrow.

Thinking of you. Love Geum xxx
 

2jays

Registered User
Jun 4, 2010
11,598
0
West Midlands
Not trying to get your hopes up but I seem to remember someone else wiping their phone clear, loosing photos etc, and I think there was a way to get them back. Hopefully who ever it was who gave the "trick" on how to do it, will see your post.

Could it be worth a post on technical forum?

xxxx
 

caring fromafar

Registered User
Oct 28, 2008
31
0
Network provider

Paul's provider or phone manufacture ought to be able to recover his lost photos and videos.

I think it may be 'luck of the draw' who you speak to whether they will do this or not. If you get through to someone who empathises with Paul's situation I'm sure it is doable. They can recover data wiped long ago for police authorities so it must be possible.

I really hope they can help.
 

Pookie

Registered User
Dec 29, 2011
1,065
0
Poor Paul he must have been dumb when he realised what had happened. Keep safe Sylvia

Peter&Jean Pookie
 

nitram

Registered User
Apr 6, 2011
30,084
0
Bury
If Paul limits the use of his phone there is a good chance of recovering the images.

If he simply deleted them and did not do a reformat all he has done is delete the information that says where the images are stored, a bit like removing the index from a book, the images, like the chapters in the book, are still intact but can't be accessed by normal means.

Although the images are still there the space they occupy is marked as 'free' so any further use is able to overwrite the images and prevent recovery.

There are several free recovery programs and you may find that a local small computer shop would be prepared to have a go at recovery.
 

Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
74,005
0
72
Dundee
Poor Paul. It must be hard to think straight at the moment. I do hope he can recover them.

I hope things go well with your appointment. x
 
Status
Not open for further replies.