Some help and Advice please

[Poyda]

Hi I am a new member and need advice. My mother in law has this illness and is in a care home, she is becoming aggressive and stubborn is insisting she is taking care of her personal hygiene but she is not. We have asked the care home to give her prompts but she is becoming argumentative with them so her needs are not be taken care of. Can anyone help with advise as what we can do. Thanks

 

[Aquamanda]

I am afraid this is all too familiar and lots of people seem to behave in a very similar way to your MIL. Is she not washing or showering at all? Is she incontinent at all? The CH may be prompting her but she is reacting in an aggressive way. Probably outraged that she should be reminded to keep herself clean, and probably thinks she is keeping herself clean. It's a horrible situation that so many people hate having personal care. Maybe the CH could step up and be a bit more hands on in her care, and take over the showering and bathing. I am sure she will be furious but they should have various approaches they can try if 'prompting' is not working.
Would she let you help her shower etc? She may be happier if a familiar person helped her. Worth a try though of course, not what you expect to have to do when she is already in a CH.

 

[Busterpen]

On experience with my mum their personal hygiene seems to slip when they first go into a nursing home because I was always there to remind her, The care home staff should give her reminders and also help her, On my experience of my mums home they do not shower her everyday. I have asked for her to be reminded about washing her face and cleaning her teeth so you need to just ask them to do this, If the staff are not doing this then go to the Manager who has signed a contract for your mums care and ask that this be done. It is the least that they can di