I need an night angel...

[Kassa64]

How do I find a carer that can stay with my mum overnight to deal with the sleepless/restless nights?

There's no one but me and my 82 year old dad and it's killing him and causing me problems in my own relationship with my husband as I can't sleep there every night.

Is there any help out there or do I have to do it myself or pay someone privately and how do you know you can trust them?

 

[Aquamanda]

Just felt I had to reply as you sound as if you and your family are at your wit's end. I don't know about funding etc. Maybe in the first instance you could find an agency and get some cost details from them. Even if you paid for a few nights it might give you all a break but I would imagine it will be extremely expensive. Then I think you should contact Social Services asap and see if they can help.

 

[Kassa64]

Thanks

Just felt I had to reply as you sound as if you and your family are at your wit's end. I don't know about funding etc. Maybe in the first instance you could find an agency and get some cost details from them. Even if you paid for a few nights it might give you all a break but I would imagine it will be extremely expensive. Then I think you should contact Social Services asap and see if they can help.

Thanks for replying even that helps I have been advised against one of the big agency's and I'm not sure we have enough money anyway.

I need to start looking at what's available it's just so hard when your time is so consumed by practical things like washing her dressing her shopping cleaning etc...
I have spoken to social services and they will only do one night as an emergency if you are at crisis point. It's so difficult as we only want someone to give us a break one night a week but someone who we can trust and we don't know many people and have a really small family.

 

[pippop1]

Do you know someone that has a live-in nanny or au pair? they might want to earn some extra money one night a week and the family could assure you of their trustworthyness.

 

[Kassa64]

Do you know someone that has a live-in nanny or au pair? they might want to earn some extra money one night a week and the family could assure you of their trustworthyness.

No but it's a great idea. We live semi rural and not sure anyone round here would have one and I don't think anyone would commute here. Thanks for the idea though really appreciate it.

 

[Anniewragby]

I used an agency for day care who also do a night service - £80 a night - as carers they were great so just because you've been warned about one agency it would be worth looking at others. I don't think I can give names but the agency we used was named after a happy little bird that flew over a rainbow!

 

[Cucu Mzungu]

No but it's a great idea. We live semi rural and not sure anyone round here would have one and I don't think anyone would commute here. Thanks for the idea though really appreciate it.

Is your dad getting all the allowances he is entitled to? Like the Higher rate Attendance allowance? etc. etc. And maybe ask social services what they would do if you happened to live in Australia...

 

[Frank-Jack]

Sorry to hear you are experiencing difficulties, it is hard not having a larger family to support you and your mum. We used by-the-hour careworkers, some who were very good - it depends on how many people they are caring for. Sometimes the person came too early to put my grandad to bed, as they had a lot of other people to put to bed too! But it's worth a try.

 

[Starshinegirl1]

I am currently in the same situation - Nights are cosing 130.00 Mum doesnt qualify for any social care funding - we were just about breaking even taking into account allowances, council tax exemption etc... but this is not sustainable, it is more expensive than residential care - which is 980 per week, but of course no heating lighting, food bills.... i am afraid it might be time for mum to go into a home, though she doesnt want to go, and neither do we, there just isnt any other solutoin - not sure about live in care, would need a team of two or three, because the person who was up all night couldnt do the day shift as well - Please do tell me if you find an angel!
Its such a shame that these circumstances force people into residential care - i am resigned to the fact that every penny she saved and scraped and made through selling her house, shopping at Lidls and charity shops will now pay for her care - i cant think about it too much!