Mum in care home, she is distraught she has no purse, no money with her. Should she have some as she does go out with care staff and if I'm feeling brave and she doesn't run off I might try taking her out soon! What do others do about money?
money and purse for mum in carehome?
- Thread starter annii1
- Start date
My mum has a small coin purse that I keep topped up with small change ( mostly 5ps & copper) She loses them quite often but I keep a supply of cheap replacements (Poundshop or similar) .
I know she doesn't need money in the CH, but she needs the feeling of security it brings.
Lin x
I know she doesn't need money in the CH, but she needs the feeling of security it brings.
Lin x
Hi,
In my Mum's care home I pay an allowance for my Mum into her personal account held there in the office for newspapers/hair dresser /sweets etc and top it up when necessary. However, my Mum has always paid cash for everything in the past pre dementia and does not understand about her special account held in the office. The care home has a rule that residents should not have money in their handbag and Mum could not understand why she did not have her own money in her purse. When I visit I give her a £5 note, loose change etc so she has some independence and if it goes missing then it is not the end of the world. Depriving her of money was one of the cruellest thing about entering the care home.
Another suggestion is to give residents foreign coins so they have money in their purse.-depending on how much comprehension they have.
best wishes,
Elizabet
In my Mum's care home I pay an allowance for my Mum into her personal account held there in the office for newspapers/hair dresser /sweets etc and top it up when necessary. However, my Mum has always paid cash for everything in the past pre dementia and does not understand about her special account held in the office. The care home has a rule that residents should not have money in their handbag and Mum could not understand why she did not have her own money in her purse. When I visit I give her a £5 note, loose change etc so she has some independence and if it goes missing then it is not the end of the world. Depriving her of money was one of the cruellest thing about entering the care home.
Another suggestion is to give residents foreign coins so they have money in their purse.-depending on how much comprehension they have.
best wishes,
Elizabet
Hi annii
I agree with Elizabet let her have a purse with some small change as it will make her feel so much better and reduce her anxiety even if she doesn't understand it. The foreign coins are a good idea depending on comprehension.
Hope it goes Ok if you manage to take her out
best wishes
Sue
I agree with Elizabet let her have a purse with some small change as it will make her feel so much better and reduce her anxiety even if she doesn't understand it. The foreign coins are a good idea depending on comprehension.
Hope it goes Ok if you manage to take her out
best wishes
Sue
Thank you all I will take a purse with coins in when I visit on christmas eve, hopefully will cheer mum up a little as the situation takes all independence awAy. Not even sure whether to take mum a christmas present or not as she gets so upset that she can't buy anyone anything in return.
Hi
I don't think that my Husband has any comprehension regarding buying Xmas presents-or even about Xmas for that matter. I've got him presents but I've already told him that the best present he can give me is one of his wonderful smiles- few and far between I'm afraid.
Take care
Lyn T
O that's lovely Lyn. Dave has no concept of Christmas any more either. I have bought him presents but I will have to open them as he will take no interest at all. Neither will he for my daughters' presents either. I do wonder whether it is worth the effort but think I'd feel a bit mean not to bother at all.
My mother also takes no interest whatsoever, but we still buy a couple of things. This year I have bought her a new dressing gown (old one was a bit manky) and just a small packet of soft jellies. I actually remembered to stitch the belt firmly to the dressing gown this time, otherwise it will inevitably go missing.
I make sure mum and dad have a bit of money with them - just a few quid - and take the view that if its lost or goes walkabout it doesnt matter. It definitely makes my dad feel happier to have a wallet around.
Regarding xmas - I volunteer to "be the elf" for them & trot out to the shops to get presents for family. Previous years I have taken in catalogues & helped them decide on specific presents. This year we just went for "smellies for everyone".
Not looking forward to going in to see them this xmas though - as mum is going through a bad patch and is refusing food and medication & is being aggressive to dad, and poor dad is immobile (sitting target literally) and is distraught.
Regarding xmas - I volunteer to "be the elf" for them & trot out to the shops to get presents for family. Previous years I have taken in catalogues & helped them decide on specific presents. This year we just went for "smellies for everyone".
Not looking forward to going in to see them this xmas though - as mum is going through a bad patch and is refusing food and medication & is being aggressive to dad, and poor dad is immobile (sitting target literally) and is distraught.
Hi, I took my Mum her Christmas present yesterday, a new cardigan in red, for some reason she suddenly loves this colour
As I gave her the present, I said "oh and thanks for the money you gave me for Christmas" and went on to tell her what I would buy for myself with it and this seemed to make her quite happy, I also got a present for my Dad from her and gave it to her saying that she had asked me to get something for Dad for her to give him and she enjoyed handing that to him. It was quite a nice day. As far as the money situation, my Mum has her handbag and a purse with about £5 in it, at first she was always bothered about where her handbag and money was but just lately she hardly ever bothers about it. Hope you have a good Christmas visit xxAnge
Yes I agree about giving residents a purse with a little money in it so long as you are willing to accept that the home won't take any responsibility for it. It's bad enough having to put your loved one in a Home without taking away their last little bit of independence.
I used to do this for my mum, and the same money sat in her bag for months. Eventually she couldn't find it but it wasn't because it had got lost it was because she had moved it herself and didn't remember. I found it eventually - that was fun!!!!
Carastro
I used to do this for my mum, and the same money sat in her bag for months. Eventually she couldn't find it but it wasn't because it had got lost it was because she had moved it herself and didn't remember. I found it eventually - that was fun!!!!
Carastro
My dad was obsessed with needing money for his care. We told him it was all inclusive. That helped. He had a wallet with loose change that went thro the wash so many times i lost count.
Handbag missing.mum in new home for 4 days , lost handbag
Hi,
has any one had to deal with this or similar?
mum transferred to new care home 4 days ago when handbag went missing. I made an error of judgement in not taking her diamond ring out of the bag on admission (my brain addled after 7 hours of settling her in, labelling everything and arranging her room )The home have searched all the rooms as mum wanders and so do the residents.
I did put it (ring)on the long property sheets on arrival. Solicitors for the elderly as her insurer may help or I can notify the police. I will talk to manager properly tomorrow.
My heart is heavy
Hi,
has any one had to deal with this or similar?
mum transferred to new care home 4 days ago when handbag went missing. I made an error of judgement in not taking her diamond ring out of the bag on admission (my brain addled after 7 hours of settling her in, labelling everything and arranging her room )The home have searched all the rooms as mum wanders and so do the residents.
I did put it (ring)on the long property sheets on arrival. Solicitors for the elderly as her insurer may help or I can notify the police. I will talk to manager properly tomorrow.
My heart is heavy
Danelover,
How distressing. But don't give up hope quite yet. The handbag must be somewhere. Mum lost a shoe once. We searched high and low for it. It turned up months later.
I think it may be a matter of the staff knowing exactly what the handbag looks like.
Could you find a picture of it or something similar and put posters up around the staff room etc? I have had success that way with finding a lost cardigan.
Oh I do hope you find it. Keep on asking every day. Hopefully if the staff know you are serious they will search harder. Good luck.
How distressing. But don't give up hope quite yet. The handbag must be somewhere. Mum lost a shoe once. We searched high and low for it. It turned up months later.
I think it may be a matter of the staff knowing exactly what the handbag looks like.
Could you find a picture of it or something similar and put posters up around the staff room etc? I have had success that way with finding a lost cardigan.
Oh I do hope you find it. Keep on asking every day. Hopefully if the staff know you are serious they will search harder. Good luck.
My Dad is a bit obsessed with money in his wallet and also keys.
I let him have about £30 on him otherwise it all kicks off looking for a cash point in the carehome.
He got a new watch from the village market today ( a tenner) which made him hugely happy.
At his previous respite home Dad had two ladies handbags, a ladies dressing gown and a pink walking stick in his room, it took me to keep handing them into reception, the care workers just used to leave them in his room !
I let him have about £30 on him otherwise it all kicks off looking for a cash point in the carehome.
He got a new watch from the village market today ( a tenner) which made him hugely happy.
At his previous respite home Dad had two ladies handbags, a ladies dressing gown and a pink walking stick in his room, it took me to keep handing them into reception, the care workers just used to leave them in his room !
In the care home my Dad is in thet photocopy notes in colour and the residents dont know any different . They just like the thought of having some money
