Hi everyone!
I went to the hospital yesterday for a review.My mum has now been in there for 5 months.It has all been quiet a shock, as mum was at my house at christmas & had started to become confused but she could still talk.I didnt know then that it would be the last time my mum would speak to me or show me any affection.I feel like i never got the chance to say goodbye & to savour those last moments together.I live about a 100miles away from mum,so dad would normally bring her to visit us every 2 or 3 months.She used to love making a fuss of her grandchildren & i loved making a fuss of her.Well after christmas she never came again.In february she was placed in a care home & a week later was removed from there & taken to a mental hospital.She had become a bit aggresive when been given a bath & the home couldnt cope.I had been speaking to dad every day & it never really sank in she was this poorly,i started to feel really anxious & frightened about seeing my poor mum.
It was mothers day when i went to see her,armed with flowers & cards & gifts from the kids.As i walked up the coridor i had no idea what to expect. My mum was the first person i saw when i opened the doors.She looked so frail & gaunt,& was just pacing up & down the coridors.I walked up to her smiling "happy mothers day mum"mum just looked straight through me as if i wasnt there.It was then i realised id lost her....over the weeks when i went to visit she would let me walk with her up & down the coridors,i could at least hold her hand & feel her touch even if there were no words.I was sure she knew who i was.
I havent been to the hospital since may when we had the last meeting.The doctors concluded that my mum is in the moderate to severe stages of alzheimers disease.She is too far gone for any ad drugs & they are giving her tranqualisers to keep her calm.Mum is also doubly incontinent.Im afraid she doesnt even know me anymore.Yesterday she wouldnt let me hold her hand & just kept walking away from me,there wasnt any recognision at all.She also looks very out of it with the tranqualisers.My 5 yr old daughter made a card for her,it said "i love you grandma"she wouldnt let me give it her.My daughter asked if grandma liked her card,& i told her it was on her shelf so she could look at it.she misses her soo much.
Im feeling so sad since yesterday & i cant get things out of my head.When i go to bed i try to think of mum smiling how she was,but all i can see is a ghost like figure with no soul & nothing behind those eyes.
I miss my mum & my best friend.She had the warmest smile & THE BIGGEST HEART.
Im so sorry for this miserable post,but its helped to get it all out.
Love Babyface.xx
I went to the hospital yesterday for a review.My mum has now been in there for 5 months.It has all been quiet a shock, as mum was at my house at christmas & had started to become confused but she could still talk.I didnt know then that it would be the last time my mum would speak to me or show me any affection.I feel like i never got the chance to say goodbye & to savour those last moments together.I live about a 100miles away from mum,so dad would normally bring her to visit us every 2 or 3 months.She used to love making a fuss of her grandchildren & i loved making a fuss of her.Well after christmas she never came again.In february she was placed in a care home & a week later was removed from there & taken to a mental hospital.She had become a bit aggresive when been given a bath & the home couldnt cope.I had been speaking to dad every day & it never really sank in she was this poorly,i started to feel really anxious & frightened about seeing my poor mum.
It was mothers day when i went to see her,armed with flowers & cards & gifts from the kids.As i walked up the coridor i had no idea what to expect. My mum was the first person i saw when i opened the doors.She looked so frail & gaunt,& was just pacing up & down the coridors.I walked up to her smiling "happy mothers day mum"mum just looked straight through me as if i wasnt there.It was then i realised id lost her....over the weeks when i went to visit she would let me walk with her up & down the coridors,i could at least hold her hand & feel her touch even if there were no words.I was sure she knew who i was.
I havent been to the hospital since may when we had the last meeting.The doctors concluded that my mum is in the moderate to severe stages of alzheimers disease.She is too far gone for any ad drugs & they are giving her tranqualisers to keep her calm.Mum is also doubly incontinent.Im afraid she doesnt even know me anymore.Yesterday she wouldnt let me hold her hand & just kept walking away from me,there wasnt any recognision at all.She also looks very out of it with the tranqualisers.My 5 yr old daughter made a card for her,it said "i love you grandma"she wouldnt let me give it her.My daughter asked if grandma liked her card,& i told her it was on her shelf so she could look at it.she misses her soo much.
Im feeling so sad since yesterday & i cant get things out of my head.When i go to bed i try to think of mum smiling how she was,but all i can see is a ghost like figure with no soul & nothing behind those eyes.
I miss my mum & my best friend.She had the warmest smile & THE BIGGEST HEART.
Im so sorry for this miserable post,but its helped to get it all out.
Love Babyface.xx
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