My Husband has just been diagnosed with Alzheimers - 67 years old. Some days are very difficult and just wonder how other people coped in the early days. My Husband is quite able and doesn't give his condition another thought, its me who feels so tired after a very difficult year with his other Health problems.
Hi There from a new Member
- Thread starter Silver Lining
- Start date
Hi Silver Lining and welcome to talking point my husband is 66 and was diagnosed with Vascular Dementia about 5 years ago but he has had it a lot longer,He is also disabled and uses a wheelchair the only way I can cope is if he goes to a day centre, he went one day a week at first but it has now increased to 3 days from 10 until 3 ,
I was advised to get more rest after being rushed to hospital with a suspected heart attack but it turned out to be stress and acid reflux,
It was not easy getting him to go but he was told it was either this or I would be too ill to look after him at all,
He has also had about 5 weekends of respite in this time when he has gone to the same Care Home where he goes to the day centre ,
I hope that you can get some help as you have to look after your health as well,
Best wishes Jeany x
I was advised to get more rest after being rushed to hospital with a suspected heart attack but it turned out to be stress and acid reflux,
It was not easy getting him to go but he was told it was either this or I would be too ill to look after him at all,
He has also had about 5 weekends of respite in this time when he has gone to the same Care Home where he goes to the day centre ,
I hope that you can get some help as you have to look after your health as well,
Best wishes Jeany x
Hello Silver Lining and welcome to Talking Point.
I am sorry to hear about your husband and understand only too well how tiring caring can be, as can many others here on TP.
I think it is important to remember that you have a life too. Try to get some time to yourself and continue a hobby as best you can so as to maintain friends and contacts outside of the dementia field. I also suggest you get in touch with your local branch of the Alzheimer's Society as most run 'cafes' which take the form of coffee mornings, pub lunches or general meetings. In our area both carers and sufferers were welcome and I found many similar people who have remained friends. It is also a way of finding out what local services are available to you. You can find your local branch here:
http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/site/scripts/documents.php?categoryID=200121
Also I think it is important to spend quality time together favouring the things your husband enjoys most. For us it was going out for meals or a drive around, just for a picnic, walking (although it was limited with us), feeding ducks etc.
Is there anyone around you who could 'sit' so that you can do things alone or even catch up on rest/sleep?
I am sure others will come along with ideas too.
I am sorry to hear about your husband and understand only too well how tiring caring can be, as can many others here on TP.
I think it is important to remember that you have a life too. Try to get some time to yourself and continue a hobby as best you can so as to maintain friends and contacts outside of the dementia field. I also suggest you get in touch with your local branch of the Alzheimer's Society as most run 'cafes' which take the form of coffee mornings, pub lunches or general meetings. In our area both carers and sufferers were welcome and I found many similar people who have remained friends. It is also a way of finding out what local services are available to you. You can find your local branch here:
http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/site/scripts/documents.php?categoryID=200121
Also I think it is important to spend quality time together favouring the things your husband enjoys most. For us it was going out for meals or a drive around, just for a picnic, walking (although it was limited with us), feeding ducks etc.
Is there anyone around you who could 'sit' so that you can do things alone or even catch up on rest/sleep?
I am sure others will come along with ideas too.
Hello Silver Lining and welcome from me too.
Not a lot to add to the advice given above. Take it a day at a time and enjoy the times that are good. You can't second guess the future, deal with it when it comes.
My husband liked a drive out and coffee and cake at garden centre. I know every garden centre with a coffee shop within a 50 mile radius of home and can grade the quality of coffee and cake in all of them.
When he stopped reading I got him word searches to do and he really enjoyed doing them.
Please keep coming to the forum and using us to help you.
Take care,
Jay
Not a lot to add to the advice given above. Take it a day at a time and enjoy the times that are good. You can't second guess the future, deal with it when it comes.
My husband liked a drive out and coffee and cake at garden centre. I know every garden centre with a coffee shop within a 50 mile radius of home and can grade the quality of coffee and cake in all of them.
When he stopped reading I got him word searches to do and he really enjoyed doing them.
Please keep coming to the forum and using us to help you.
Take care,
Jay
Thank you so much for your comments. I guess at the moment I am quite fortunate that my Husband has a lot of capabilities, he loves his DIY, but takes measurements time and time again and that is what I find upsetting.
Yes he does Wordsearch too, always reaching for his book which has about 500 in and he is now half way.
Yes I can see from all the comments so far we should take things day by day. Thank you all so far for your support. Carole.
Not a lot to add to the advice given above. Take it a day at a time and enjoy the times that are good. You can't second guess the future, deal with it when it comes.
My husband liked a drive out and coffee and cake at garden centre. I know every garden centre with a coffee shop within a 50 mile radius of home and can grade the quality of coffee and cake in all of them.
When he stopped reading I got him word searches to do and he really enjoyed doing them.
Please keep coming to the forum and using us to help you.
Take care,
Jay[/QUOTE]
Yes he does Wordsearch too, always reaching for his book which has about 500 in and he is now half way.
Yes I can see from all the comments so far we should take things day by day. Thank you all so far for your support. Carole.
Not a lot to add to the advice given above. Take it a day at a time and enjoy the times that are good. You can't second guess the future, deal with it when it comes.
My husband liked a drive out and coffee and cake at garden centre. I know every garden centre with a coffee shop within a 50 mile radius of home and can grade the quality of coffee and cake in all of them.
When he stopped reading I got him word searches to do and he really enjoyed doing them.
Please keep coming to the forum and using us to help you.
Take care,
Jay[/QUOTE]
Hi and welcome from me too.
It's 12 years since my husband was diagnosed. It's hard to remember the early days but I do remember that, in some ways, they were harder than the present. I think the fact that he had insight into his condition made it harder. I also feel that I found it harder than he did as I couldn't help thinking of the future. Over the years we have settled into a routine and way of living. It's different to what I would have wanted but it's not too bad. It's down to me accepting the changes and the decline and looking for the positives and the solutions. Not always easy and very tiring.
I too know every tea room within a 50 mile radius of where we live!
That started with my mum (who had vascular dementia).
It is true that we need to take one day at a time. Try to make the best of the good days. x
It's 12 years since my husband was diagnosed. It's hard to remember the early days but I do remember that, in some ways, they were harder than the present. I think the fact that he had insight into his condition made it harder. I also feel that I found it harder than he did as I couldn't help thinking of the future. Over the years we have settled into a routine and way of living. It's different to what I would have wanted but it's not too bad. It's down to me accepting the changes and the decline and looking for the positives and the solutions. Not always easy and very tiring.
I too know every tea room within a 50 mile radius of where we live!
That started with my mum (who had vascular dementia). It is true that we need to take one day at a time. Try to make the best of the good days. x
Hello Bubsho
Welcome to Talking Point.
I feel for you almost as much as I feel for your mum.
We relocated to live near our son and even though it`s the best move I made, it was fraught with difficulties for my husband and I know it`s not always possible for everyone to make the move.
I`m leased you are both registered with TP because at last you will be able to get the individual support you both need .
Welcome to Talking Point.
I feel for you almost as much as I feel for your mum.
We relocated to live near our son and even though it`s the best move I made, it was fraught with difficulties for my husband and I know it`s not always possible for everyone to make the move.
I`m leased you are both registered with TP because at last you will be able to get the individual support you both need .
Hello Silver Lining
I also found the early days the hardest.
My husband had a lot of insight into his illness and fought every step of the way to hang on to his independence. sadly he made many mistakes and blamed me for them and for moving to live near our son.
I hope you will feel well supported here.
I also found the early days the hardest.
My husband had a lot of insight into his illness and fought every step of the way to hang on to his independence. sadly he made many mistakes and blamed me for them and for moving to live near our son.
I hope you will feel well supported here.
Thank You
My Husband is still quite able and you get lulled into a false sense of security briefly and then the symptoms come flooding back again. My Husband said out of the blue (whilst watching 24 hrs in A & E with a man with Dementia) - I have Dementia havn't I and I was lost for words. He didn't mention it again!
My Husband is still quite able and you get lulled into a false sense of security briefly and then the symptoms come flooding back again. My Husband said out of the blue (whilst watching 24 hrs in A & E with a man with Dementia) - I have Dementia havn't I and I was lost for words. He didn't mention it again!
Hello Bubsho. You will feel very frustrated living so far away and therefore not being able to give mum the practical help which you would have liked to do. I think talking to her frequently on the phone and visiting whenever you can and for her knowing that she has your support will really help. I am very lucky because all of my four children live quite near to me and they are my rock and I don't know how I would cope without their support. Tell mum to joint the local Alzeimers Support Group as I know she will find this really helpful as I have. You make friends with other carers and it really does help to talk believe me. God bless.
