Dear All.
Your help please. I will try and keep this short.
My partners Mother (70) has early on set Alzheimer's, mobility issues, incontinence and a heart condition. She has two daughters: one "S" (not my partner) lives 1 mile away and my partner "J" who lives 75 miles away. Both daughters work.
"Mum" lives in her own home. She is widowed.
"S" visits every morning and evening and checks she has eaten (food left for her), washed and dispenses her medication. Increasingly Mum needs to be encouraged to wash.
"Mum" goes to a day care centre Mon - Thu. She is at home on Fridays but has Meals On Wheels.
At weekends "Mum" stays at "S" house every other weekend. On the other weekend "J" and I go and stay at Mums.
"Mum" also stays at "S" house some nights of the week. This is because when she is in her own home she rings S 3 or 4 times during the night disturbing "S" and her partner.
Mum has now taken to getting up during the night and getting dressed then asking "S" when is it time to go the day care centre. This is causing real issues for S and her partner getting enough quality sleep.
We have spoken to the Local Authority and it seems because Mum has more than the savings threshold she would have to self fund.
Mum gets state pension and a small widows pension.
We have been turned down for attendance allowance but are reapplying.
We are waiting for the LA to do an assessment but as she would be self funding they do not seem to want to know.
"S" is now at her wits end exhausted by it all and can no longer cope. She needs a break from it but has candidly said if she had a break she might not be able to resume the going round twice a day etc.
I have got some prices for care from private providers but is seems to me that if you pay for sleep in care at nights you rapidly spend more than a nursing home would charge.
Please does anyone have any ideas or suggestions how to manage this / what to do next?
Thank you.
T
Your help please. I will try and keep this short.
My partners Mother (70) has early on set Alzheimer's, mobility issues, incontinence and a heart condition. She has two daughters: one "S" (not my partner) lives 1 mile away and my partner "J" who lives 75 miles away. Both daughters work.
"Mum" lives in her own home. She is widowed.
"S" visits every morning and evening and checks she has eaten (food left for her), washed and dispenses her medication. Increasingly Mum needs to be encouraged to wash.
"Mum" goes to a day care centre Mon - Thu. She is at home on Fridays but has Meals On Wheels.
At weekends "Mum" stays at "S" house every other weekend. On the other weekend "J" and I go and stay at Mums.
"Mum" also stays at "S" house some nights of the week. This is because when she is in her own home she rings S 3 or 4 times during the night disturbing "S" and her partner.
Mum has now taken to getting up during the night and getting dressed then asking "S" when is it time to go the day care centre. This is causing real issues for S and her partner getting enough quality sleep.
We have spoken to the Local Authority and it seems because Mum has more than the savings threshold she would have to self fund.
Mum gets state pension and a small widows pension.
We have been turned down for attendance allowance but are reapplying.
We are waiting for the LA to do an assessment but as she would be self funding they do not seem to want to know.
"S" is now at her wits end exhausted by it all and can no longer cope. She needs a break from it but has candidly said if she had a break she might not be able to resume the going round twice a day etc.
I have got some prices for care from private providers but is seems to me that if you pay for sleep in care at nights you rapidly spend more than a nursing home would charge.
Please does anyone have any ideas or suggestions how to manage this / what to do next?
Thank you.
T