Hi, my 83-year-old mother has Alzheimers and my 85-year-old father is her main carer. I moved down from London a couple of years ago to be nearer to them in Somerset, although as a support to my father rather than as my mother's carer (if that makes sense).
My mother is a sundowner and although vague and forgetful during the early part of the day (when she merrily admits to being gaga), can be a different person later on. That's okay, Dad has developed coping strategies and if she can be persuaded to have a nap, she wakes refreshed and relatively happy.
But, of course, the illness doesn't stand still and, over the last few weeks, she has taken to wandering. Either she decides she wants to visit me, or she just wants to go for 'a little walk'. She is very fit for her age and can walk for miles. A week or two ago, she managed to walk for more than 5 miles in the general direction of my home before my Dad had even realised she wasn't there, and last week, after failing to find her in the surrounding country lanes, he had to call the police, who did eventually find her (all very dramatic with a helicopter 'n' all). Again, she had set out to visit me, although on this occasion she was heading in the wrong direction. Today he drove around for ages without finding her, came home to phone the police and found her in bed - she had circled round and come home while he was out.
I have searched this forum and found a lot of references to wandering, so I'm sure her behaviour is a common one, but I am looking for some solutions and wondered if any other forum members could help with ideas. Obviously my Dad could just lock the doors but he is reluctant to do that, since she is in the habit of merrily nipping over the road to the village shop to buy biscuits, for example. All of this is do-able in the morning, but changes when she goes into sundowner mode. Could he just alarm the doors to alert him to a door opening? Can we sew a tracking device into her bum-bag (she doesn't leave home without it)?
Thanks in advance for any suggestions. One of the toughest things I battle with is that my Dad doesn't want to acknowledge that dementia is a progressive illness - he thinks I take a pessimistic view of things, while I think he is overly optimistic about the future.
My mother is a sundowner and although vague and forgetful during the early part of the day (when she merrily admits to being gaga), can be a different person later on. That's okay, Dad has developed coping strategies and if she can be persuaded to have a nap, she wakes refreshed and relatively happy.
But, of course, the illness doesn't stand still and, over the last few weeks, she has taken to wandering. Either she decides she wants to visit me, or she just wants to go for 'a little walk'. She is very fit for her age and can walk for miles. A week or two ago, she managed to walk for more than 5 miles in the general direction of my home before my Dad had even realised she wasn't there, and last week, after failing to find her in the surrounding country lanes, he had to call the police, who did eventually find her (all very dramatic with a helicopter 'n' all). Again, she had set out to visit me, although on this occasion she was heading in the wrong direction. Today he drove around for ages without finding her, came home to phone the police and found her in bed - she had circled round and come home while he was out.
I have searched this forum and found a lot of references to wandering, so I'm sure her behaviour is a common one, but I am looking for some solutions and wondered if any other forum members could help with ideas. Obviously my Dad could just lock the doors but he is reluctant to do that, since she is in the habit of merrily nipping over the road to the village shop to buy biscuits, for example. All of this is do-able in the morning, but changes when she goes into sundowner mode. Could he just alarm the doors to alert him to a door opening? Can we sew a tracking device into her bum-bag (she doesn't leave home without it)?
Thanks in advance for any suggestions. One of the toughest things I battle with is that my Dad doesn't want to acknowledge that dementia is a progressive illness - he thinks I take a pessimistic view of things, while I think he is overly optimistic about the future.