A life in the day of.........................

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Grannie G

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Apr 3, 2006
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Kent
Thank you for your support.

Dhiren isn`t constipated he is given a regular dose of a mild laxative. He will be kept under observation, of that I`m sure and very grateful.

J sat next to Dhiren at all times. He was a rough diamond, who could well have had estranged family anywhere in the world. He had a lovely smile and always asked `Ah y`all right?` every time I visited.

He developed skin cancer on his ear and suffered dreadful pain . Surgery was the only option and it lasted three hours.

The doctors suggested Hospital care but the home asked if he could spend his final days with them. He was surrounded with love and the best of care Gwen, so did not die unloved. There were tears all round.
 

Izzy

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Aug 31, 2003
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Oh Sylvia i am so sorry that Dhiren has another infection. It's good that the home is so proactive. I know exactly what you mean about capsules. Can you get them changed fir liquid tomorrow?

How sad about J.
 

thatwoman

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Mar 25, 2009
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Merseyside
Hi Sylvia,

I'm sorry to see that Dhiren has a chest infection. I always read your thread even though I don't often post any longer. I do hope Dhiren is feeling more comfortable. (I sympathise as my nose is streaming too!)

I know you will already have thought of it, but could you or the home ask the chemist to give you the antibiotic in liquid form? We had it written on Dad's notes that all medication needed to be in liquid or powder form because he had problems swallowing.

I'm glad you are going to J's funeral. My husband and I often went to funerals of people in Dad's nursing home. The staff of the home always tried to have a good turn out for residents with little or no family, just to show that they were loved and respected by us if by nobody else.

Love to you and Dhiren,

Sue, xxx
 

mulhuis

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Mar 27, 2009
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Hi Sylvia,
Sorry to hear Dhiren has an infection. Could the home try opening the capsules and putting the contents on a spoon with something he likes. Much better than not getting the medicine in to him while waiting to get liquid.
Used to work for my mum when I was little.
x
 
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Grannie G

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Apr 3, 2006
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Kent
What a good idea Terry . Thank you so much. Lovely to hear from you. :)

It is Jim`s funeral today, just off to attend. I hope you are both well. xx
 

Rageddy Anne

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Feb 21, 2013
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Cotswolds
Sorry to hear about the nasty infection. It's good that the home is so vigilant about their vulnerable residents. I hope the medicine problem is quickly solved, and your dear husband is soon better.

Wrap up warm for the funeral...I'm sure you will. It's lovely that you and the staff are going to be there for the man who was alone.... Take good care of yourself.
 

Varandas

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Sep 2, 2013
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Hampshire England
Sorry to hear that your Dhiren is with a bad cold. I hope the antibiotics will work its way, even if will take several glasses of water/juice to go down. I always try a bit of mashed banana soon after taking a capsule.
Will be saying a prayer this afternoon whilst you are attending Jim's funeral.
All the best
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
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Kent
Dhiren was so much better yesterday. Antibiotics are wonderful when they work. His breathing is still very bubbly and quite noisy but he is not distressed.

Dhiren November 2013.jpg

He was quite cold so I got a fleece for him. I was unable to put it on so asked staff for help. It took two of them to put the fleece on and they had great difficulty because Dhiren objected so much. When the fleece was on, both carers were out of breath after the struggle.
It was an eye opener for me. I had no idea dressing and undressing was such a struggle. They told me he had one particularly bad side and I was shocked.

I`ve taken Glucosamine for about 30 years and I swear it has helped a bad knee which used to give way when I stepped on it. My friend suggested trying it with Dhiren. I know I can get it in liquid form so will discuss this with the manager to see if we can try it. First I need to know whether it`s the joints or the tendons.
I know this is known as contracture and also know I can`t stop the clock but there`s no harm in trying.


Because there has been such kindness and interest in Jim`s funeral, I just want to post a little about the event.
There were 7 of us, 6 staff and me. The night staff had stayed on to attend.
The service was in a small chapel at the burial ground. It was simple and intimate.
Jim was buried with respect and dignity and tears were shed.
I think he would have been overwhelmed.
 

Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
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Oh Sylvia that is a lovely photo of Dhiren. You must be so relieved that he's picking up.

I'm glad so many of you were able to attend J's funeral.
 

jeany123

Registered User
Mar 24, 2012
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Durham
A lovely photo of Dhiren Sylvia, It's nice to hear that he is picking up,
I am pleased that Jim's funeral went well ,

Jeany x
 

creativesarah

Registered User
Apr 22, 2010
9,638
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Upton Northamptonshire
Because there has been such kindness and interest in Jim`s funeral, I just want to post a little about the event.
There were 7 of us, 6 staff and me. The night staff had stayed on to attend.
The service was in a small chapel at the burial ground. It was simple and intimate.
Jim was buried with respect and dignity and tears were shed.
I think he would have been overwhelmed.

How lovely that people were there for him
Glad Dhiren is getting better

Love Sarah
 

Saffie

Registered User
Mar 26, 2011
22,513
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Near Southampton
Dhiren looks content Sylvia. I'm glad he is getting better quickly.
How sad to be so alone when you die and how kind of the staff, not to mention yourself, to attend to say goodbye.
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
81,445
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Kent
An update on the dressing and undressing problem due to limb stiffening.

I was discussing ways round this with the assistant manager and it transpired Dhiren found undressing more stressful when he was tired.

I suggested he is allowed to sleep in the polo shirts he is now wearing. They are so similar to pyjama tops and would present no hygiene hazard.
It was a new idea and discussed with all staff who accepted it in Dhiren`s best interests to reduce distress.

As long as he is regularly changed below the waist, he will come to no harm.
 

2jays

Registered User
Jun 4, 2010
11,598
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West Midlands
The staff seem so supportive to you both. It's a good feeling when you are listened to isn't it, so you still feel part of the team caring.

Thinking of you x
 

jaymor

Registered User
Jul 14, 2006
15,604
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South Staffordshire
An update on the dressing and undressing problem due to limb stiffening.

I was discussing ways round this with the assistant manager and it transpired Dhiren found undressing more stressful when he was tired.

I suggested he is allowed to sleep in the polo shirts he is now wearing. They are so similar to pyjama tops and would present no hygiene hazard.
It was a new idea and discussed with all staff who accepted it in Dhiren`s best interests to reduce distress.

As long as he is regularly changed below the waist, he will come to no harm.

What a good idea. After reading your post on here I changed my mind about replacing my husband's polo shirts with button up shirts, you saved me a fortune as I have only just replaced his whole wardrobe because of his loss of weight.

I had a word with the staff too about dressing and undressing and they said they manage ok. All nine men have different problems with dressing, my husband folds his arm up tight to his shoulder. Nothing wrong with his arms just something he does when changing clothes.I am going to say it is alright with me if he sleeps in the polo he had worn during the day if struggling is upsetting him.

Jay


Sent from my iPad using Talking Point mobile app
 

Saffie

Registered User
Mar 26, 2011
22,513
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Near Southampton
Well, they did that in reverse with Dave on Sunday! Left his pyjama top on as he wouldn't let the carers change him. I can't see a massive problem either way as I realise that I have to accept that he is never going to look as smart as he used to.
I will give the carers to my blessing if they need to do this either way, so thank you for the suggestion Sylvia.
 

Canadian Joanne

Registered User
Apr 8, 2005
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70
Toronto, Canada
That's a good solution for everyone, Sylvia.

Saffie said:
I realise that I have to accept that he is never going to look as smart as he used to.

Yes, that's a hard one, isn't it? We aren't having any problems with Mum yet (that I've been told, at any rate) but I purchase elastic waist slacks and tops with open necklines. No turtlenecks anymore. Her shoes and slippers have velcro fasteners.

One thing I've done for years now is to buy Mum very brightly patterned socks. My ideas is that when the staff see them, they'll recognize them as Mum's. Seems to work so far.
 
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