What stage?

What stage of Alzheimer's?

  • I don't want to think about this

    Votes: 14 4.0%
  • Stage 1

    Votes: 14 4.0%
  • Stage 2

    Votes: 6 1.7%
  • Stage 3

    Votes: 22 6.3%
  • Stage 4

    Votes: 50 14.2%
  • Stage 5

    Votes: 86 24.4%
  • Stage 6

    Votes: 108 30.7%
  • Stage 7

    Votes: 52 14.8%

  • Total voters
    352

Tash

Registered User
Jan 8, 2007
251
0
43
London, UK
Posted on TED's behalf

There seems to be some issues with posting messages/new threads at the moment. I've just had an email from Ted to post this one. - Tash


Hello all
dont visit here very often, but was asked by one of my sisters what the stages where and came to look it up. Would now put mum in stage 7 (though i am sure there are more to follow....this is just based on the document in the start of this thread.

I have a question, that probably cant be answered in black or white, and will almost certainely sound quite harsh and cold, but im going to ask anyway

"barring any accidents, falls etc, how much longer will we have with mum." I will admit i do not want her to leave us, but nor do i want to see her spending a long time suffering in silence being fed, changed and all sorts while she just sits there. It's no quality of life for her, or Dad. Who is in his 70s.

there i've said it, just being honest, and i ask you good people in the hope that you dont find my reason for asking too harsh or without feeling. Please believe me that it is because of my love for my family that i need to have some idea of what lies ahead now.

thank you
peace and love
TED
 

Brucie

Registered User
Jan 31, 2004
12,413
0
near London
"barring any accidents, falls etc, how much longer will we have with mum."
the really simple reply to this question - one we all want the answer to - is that there is no way to know.

There are too many imponderables. I'd say that, from diagnosis - assuming that is more timely than the 8 years it took for my Jan - it could be anything up to 15 years or more, until the person is freed from their dementia.

At present we are 10 years from the time of Jan's formal diagnosis, 14 years from the diagnosis I made of Jan's dementia, 18 years from the first major symptoms she had.

I estimate she has been at stage 7 for a couple of years and she is strong as a horse, just hopelessly compromised. As far as I can see, it could be another 10 years. Or it could end tomorrow. There's no way of knowing.

Her doctor says Jan is beyond the bounds of her medical experience now and we are in uncharted waters.

Sorry, that is not reassuring, but what you ask is unanswerable.....:confused:
 

Skye

Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
17,000
0
SW Scotland
TED said:
there i've said it, just being honest, and i ask you good people in the hope that you dont find my reason for asking too harsh or without feeling. Please believe me that it is because of my love for my family that i need to have some idea of what lies ahead now.

TED, I don't think you are being harsh or unfeeling. Your question is one we all ask, and one that is particularly of interest for those of you caring for a parent. You have your own families to consider, jobs, financial implications, and it must be so difficult not being able to make plans.

But I'm afraid Bruce is right, this disease can last anything from a few months to 20+ years. And no-one, including the professionals, can judge.

So don't apologise for asking, I'm just sorry I can't answer.

Best wishes,
 

TED

Registered User
Sep 14, 2004
154
0
54
Middlesex
Helllo all
i've calmed down a bit now, been having all sorts of problems trying to post (amongst other problems) but hopefully its bit better now.

Anyway, i should have put this in a bit better, i know there are no "rules" but what i was interested in was the possibilities, once reaching the latter stages, from people who have had that experience. It's not a nice question but it is one i feel i just had to ask and put out there.

Thank you for your time and considered and respectful responses.

keep well
TED
 

Margaret W

Registered User
Apr 28, 2007
3,720
0
North Derbyshire
Hi Ted

Well, I'm new to all this, and can only say what I have been told and what I am now realising, which is of no use at all to any of us, but the answer is - WE DON'T KNOW.

My mum was admitted to a secure psychiatric ward 3 weeks ago, and in that time I have seen men and women worse than her in some respects and better in others; men and women who have been suffering the illness for many years, and those who are new to it (like mum) but have gone "downhill" rapidly (like mum). There is one lady who says nothing, sits in a chair and stares into space, but speak to her and her face becomes alive. There is another who is always talking, never shuts up, and it is not all rubbish but the other patients don't understand it cos is to too high-brow. She was a University lecturer, and as I am one, we talk about deadlines, lesson plans, assessment criteria and she is in her element.

I'lll give people two experiences which may help.

My aunt took 12 years to get to the stage that my mum has reached in less than 12 months. My grandma was diagnosed with untreatable breast cancer aged 70, Alzheimers aged 72 and died aged 94 without ever deteriorating in either illness. The worst she ever got with Alzheimers was wanting to know where her mam and dad were, and who were those green men who kept coming out of the back of the telly! But she could still pick the winners in the horse-racing (unfortunately never placed any bets!). So the short answer is, no answer.

We just have to see how it progresses and do our best.

It's the "unknown illness".

Love to you all
 

Margaret W

Registered User
Apr 28, 2007
3,720
0
North Derbyshire
Stage

I forgot to say, my mum seems to be a mix of stage 5 and 6, more 6 - and all in 12 months.

That said, since being hospitalised, put into a regularised environment, treated for a chest infection, I see a bit of improvement. We shall see.

Love

Margaret
 

kirst

Registered User
Jul 9, 2007
22
0
east riding
what stage is my dad at

i have just come across this topic i went on to the web page for the different stages i have read a few out there but they can be different im just wondering if any one can help to find out what stage my dad is in so i know what is coming next which helps even though u are never prepared for what comes next he can sometimes still dress and undress him self it all depends he forgets things you have told him even when he has eaten he sees people who are not there and accused my mum of things which i know isnt him its part of it he forgets names he can be very aggresive verbally when he was home he used to wander off from home doesnt know where he lives etc
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
81,444
0
Kent
Dear Kirst,

I can`t remember what stage I assessed my husband at, when I registered with this poll, but I do remember so many overlaps, I found it difficult to be precise.

I have just read through the stages again, the ones on Bruce`s link, and have the same problem.

My husband has indications he could be at Stage 3, 4, or 5. So what do I learn from it? Not a lot, I`m afraid.

There are so many other contributary factors, I believe the stages can only be seen as a rough guide.

Love xx
 

Brucie

Registered User
Jan 31, 2004
12,413
0
near London
I think the stages are simply one way of trying to look at all the effects on a person and, almost by rule of thumb say "well, I guess they are about...THERE".

There are no stages to dementia - it is a continuum of decline [sometimes with vascular steps], but we need to be able to get a feel for where on that continuum they - and we - sit.

There is no saying that the stage we choose reflects the real situation. It is purely a guess.

... only in my opinion, of course
 

Lila13

Registered User
Feb 24, 2006
1,342
0
I assessed my mother as at stage 3, (doctors saying nothing wrong), and a few weeks later she was dead.

You can never know what is coming next.
 
Last edited:

Margarita

Registered User
Feb 17, 2006
10,824
0
london
My mother been on a 6 for a long time , but she on Exbixa so does not get delusional behavior, and Exbiza could be stopping it progressing fast

I must say I don't know if delusional behavior includes that she think they nothing wrong with her .

I was amazed this morning when I took her to get her toe nails done, that she could walk from taxi to building with my help , but had to be care full as she does not pick up her feet and can easy trip on pavement , she till knows all family name .

I did wonder what she was when I first came on TP last year I thought I would of posted or done the poll , but can't find a post from me in this thread
 

Mameeskye

Registered User
Aug 9, 2007
1,669
0
60
NZ
Mum definitely appears to be in stage 6. Her physical skills are now starting to go as well although she can still walk.

Mameeskye
 

Canadian Joanne

Registered User
Apr 8, 2005
17,710
0
70
Toronto, Canada
My mother is mostly 7, with a little 6 left. No walking, no coherent talking, coherent moments are seconds long only. She can repeat what we say (sometimes) but has started a sort of chanting which can be quite irritating. It really irritates some of the other residents - they tell her to shut up.

My mother is essentially gone & I'm tired of all this. We keep slogging on though. No choice.
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
81,444
0
Kent
Dear Joanne,

I`m so sorry you are feeling so tired of witnessing your mother entering the final stages of Alzheimers.

It is very depressing to prepare yourself for visiting, knowing there`s never going to be any reaction whether you`re there or not.

I hope you are looking after yourself. It`s a tragic and lonely road to travel.

Love xx
 

Mameeskye

Registered User
Aug 9, 2007
1,669
0
60
NZ
Hi Joanne

(((((hugs))))))

I know that the times that my mother recognises me are fast disappearing and at least a third of the time now I am not sure if she knows me. Her walking is getting worse. We have very few coherent moments..and I wonder how much longer it can go for too.

She is at a stage 6 heading to stage 7 during illness. I welcome and dread this coming winter..just waiting for the phone call to say she is ill again, can I come but partly hoping that it comes too. I feel guilty at times about feeling this way. Mum, the person she has become, is happy..but it is hard for the rest of us.

I have to summon up the courage to visit at times too. There are so many things that I should be doing and it is one more on the list. Don't be hard on yourself. Look after yourself and your family and don't feel bad about having a break when you need it.

Love

Mameeskye
 

Canadian Joanne

Registered User
Apr 8, 2005
17,710
0
70
Toronto, Canada
Sylvia and Mameeskye,
Thanks for the kind words. I really am looking after myself I think. We've just been away for the weekend visiting friends. So I saw Mum Thursday night and then not until Sunday afternoon for a quick half hour.

I know it doesn't sound like a big break but I am also trying to balance the visiting or not visiting now with the guilt I know will hit me like a ton of bricks when my mother dies. I also know I shouldn't feel guilty but, as we are all aware, emotions are slippier than eels and not at all controllable.

I am very grateful that I quit my then job in April 2005 and was able to spend much more time with my mother until Sept 2005, when I started working again. We walked, we used the exercise machines at the home, we almost had conversation. I did take Mum on a picnic. I did things I would not be able to do today. For that, I am sincerely grateful.

This was just a little whining on my part. Just a bit of the mental fatigue.
 

nemesisis

Registered User
May 25, 2006
100
0
what is this?

I dont get this post
Is there a way to find out what stage someones at and then you tick which stage. Is this the idea?
 

Mameeskye

Registered User
Aug 9, 2007
1,669
0
60
NZ
Joanne

I totally understand what you mean about finding the balance. Like you when Mum was in the earlier stages I used to spend full days with her, albeit less frequently as I was living further away, but we would go for lunch, shop and just chat. Sometimes at the home there would be a gang of about 4 ladies with dementia and me ahving afternoon tea.

Two of those ladies are gone now and Mum and the other lady are no longer capable of interaction but I am so glad of the time I spent when they were. 15 years ago when my Dad first found his lump I promised myself that I would do what I could so I would not feel guilty when the worst happened. the worst happened and I didn't feel guilty.

It has worked the same with Mum. Although at times I haven't been able to be there for her (I have young sons now) and have had to cut myself off I asked myself if I had the time over what would I change. I realised that I could change nothing due to the fact my family apart from Mum also depended upon me. It made me relax.

I try to balance all my commitments and most of the time I do. Balance is a lot easier for me now. Like you I occasionally have a day where it all slips. Visits to Mum are much shorter. She is more tired and it can be more difficult. Although if she is ill she likes me just to sit next to her, which I did when she was bad last year (as a mother of small boys it was in fact a rest!..plus I managed a sudoku or two!!!)

I think we all have days when it becomes too much and the shadows creep over us. We just have to remember the brighter days too and take pleasure in the little things. These days will pass.

((hugs)))

Love

Mameeskye
 

nemesisis

Registered User
May 25, 2006
100
0
get it now

After looking at Brucie's message and (Dr Reisbergs) site my mum is at stage 6 which is a huge shock to me as she has only been diagnosed 2 years but perhaps does explain why social services have been slow in responding to my cry for help I have now arranged for cpn to visit on tuesday and perhaps then I can get the care in place that my mum should have !!!!!
 

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