Getting dressed nightmare!!!!

[Lilibet1]

Hi, Does anyone else have someone that is an absolute nightmare to get dressed. It has just taken me two and a half hours and we're still not ready.
My husband is insisting that his underwear and trousers are not right !!! I very patiently try to coax him but it gets me nowhere as he just ends up shouting.
I am at my wits end advice please.
Thanks xx

 

[Jessbow]

Are you going out? if not try Joggers- will he wear them?
Another sort of Pants? Are his suddenly itchy for some reason?


In what way are they 'not right'- can he tell you?

If you are not going out, leave him in his Jim jams once in a while.

 

[lin1]

Hi
Could it be that your Husband does not want to get dressed or wants to wear something different and saying they are not right, is the only way he can explaine
Unless you are going out I suggest his PJs for today

 

[Lilibet1]

Are you going out? if not try Joggers- will he wear them?
Another sort of Pants? Are his suddenly itchy for some reason?


In what way are they 'not right'- can he tell you?

If you are not going out, leave him in his Jim jams once in a while.

Thanks for your response. it is not just when we are going out that we have this problem it's always!!!
He has to get dressed as he says he needs to go to work!! which is actually just digging the veg patch not actual work, so I don't want to dissuade him from dressing, but he does fiddle consistently with the belt on his trousers also the button and zip, saying "theses are not right i'm going to throw them all out and start again" fine but he never does. It is really infuriating.
I suggested some elastic waisted trousers only to be told they are for old men (he's 63 so fair enough) or even braces but no, no good. So I jut don't know what to do.
This may seem like a trivial problem but on top off everything else it is really annoying!!! AAGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

It does feel good to get things off your chest sometimes as it tends to put things in perspective a bit.

Thanks for listening to my ranting>>>

Lilibet

 

[Aquamanda]

What about if you just buy a pair of elasticated joggers and tell him you got him a present and you took on board what he said about 'some of the styles being a bit old fashioned' so you found these in a more modern shop (you choose)! and they are for younger people, very trendy, ideal in the garden etc and you thought he would love them!

 

[Lilibet1]

What about if you just buy a pair of elasticated joggers and tell him you got him a present and you took on board what he said about 'some of the styles being a bit old fashioned' so you found these in a more modern shop (you choose)! and they are for younger people, very trendy, ideal in the garden etc and you thought he would love them!

Thanks for that I might well give it a try am going into town on Monday so lets see what they have!!

 

[CollegeGirl]

Hi Lilibet. I have no advice but just wanted to say that you are not alone with this problem - it often takes my dad several hours to get my mam dressed. Sometimes it's not until 3 or 4pm. It can make life very difficult, and you have my sympathies.

Strangely, though, on the days she goes to respite and the day centre (both weekly events), he has, so far, managed to get her up, washed, dressed and breakfasted by about 10.30am and at the home by 11ish. He was just saying the other day that he doesn't know what's different on those days; perhaps he himself is different and this affects my mam, but he doesn't know what it is!

Good luck with some of the suggestions, I hope they work.

 

[LadyA]

Sadly, I've no advice either, but it does seem to be a common problem. I've even thought of asking at a local nursing home how they manage! Every morning I get "Why are you? Don't take!" in outraged tones, as Wm tries to cling to his pj top. I've gotten (kind of) around that by putting his vest over his head and sort of draping it down over his chest before I take off his pj top - so he has something on, and feels better about it. But when it comes to the bottom half, I hear "Oh God! What now?!" And it's the same every evening. And I can't leave him in his pj's as he insists on being taken out every day to the shops. A friend visiting this evening just said, this dementia thing is so weird! How can we forget things that have become so routine to us - so much second nature, like dressing? And going to the toilet? This friend of Wm's was astonished to learn that Wm has actually forgotten how to use the toilet - and how to clean his teeth, dress and undress - all those things we take for granted most of our lives.

 

[1954]

Thanks for your response. it is not just when we are going out that we have this problem it's always!!!
He has to get dressed as he says he needs to go to work!! which is actually just digging the veg patch not actual work, so I don't want to dissuade him from dressing, but he does fiddle consistently with the belt on his trousers also the button and zip, saying "theses are not right i'm going to throw them all out and start again" fine but he never does. It is really infuriating.
I suggested some elastic waisted trousers only to be told they are for old men (he's 63 so fair enough) or even braces but no, no good. So I jut don't know what to do.
This may seem like a trivial problem but on top off everything else it is really annoying!!! AAGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

It does feel good to get things off your chest sometimes as it tends to put things in perspective a bit.

Thanks for listening to my ranting>>>

Lilibet

Sorry to sound silly but what if you left it to him, what would happen? Would it keep him 'busy' for ages or would he just get angry. I leave me MIL to get dressed.....it takes her about 1 hour but it doesn't bother me

 

[Patty81]

I have this problem practically every morning and evening. He used to put his clothes on over his pyjamas. I got round this by putting him to bed without any pyjamas, that is if I can get his clothes off in the first place as he very often goes to bed fully clothed, then it's fingers crossed that I can get them off in the morning and clean clothes on. It's a nightmare and there is no solution and I end up in tears which upsets me for all day.

This morning he wouldn't put clean underwear on. As fore toileting and bathing - well that's another battle.

It is now 2.30 in the afternoon and he is sitting here with his coat on, won't take it off.

It's like living with a 2 year old except you can make a 2 year old do something but not a stubborn 78 year old man.

 

[paddyr]

I've found that from inducing my wife to get out of bed through showering toilet teeth cleaning breakfast and every step through back to bed at night I have resistance and adverse comment at each stage but the path is eased by telling a few porkies like we have to go shopping or to the surgery and so on. Respite carers who relieve my care to allow a trip to the gym or a walk with ramblers have the same problem but by having the same ladies come it becomes a talking point.

 

[truth24]

Hi there

I too have the same problem. My husband now goes to bed fully dressed (even down to shoes which I often find in the bed in the mornings). Mornings are a nightmare as he is doubly incontinent and isn't aware so despite incontinence pants - need I say more! We then battle to remove soiled clothes, get him in the bath etc but he is convinced he is not responsible for the mess - it is the fault of the loo! Hey ho!

So you have all my sympathy - we just have to battle on. Can't bear the thought of him going into a care home just yet so hope I can manage for a good bit longer.

 

[velo70]

After finding a solution that worked for a few months, I have the same problems with my wife. The morning ritual is becoming a battle, to get her to wash properly, and put on the clean underwear that is placed nearby. I have to supervise strip down and wash and dress. If left alone, she will dress and insist she has completely washed, though the clean flannel and soap are still dry. It is such a loss of her dignity and the daily erosion of what used to be everyday skills is heart breaking to watch. Occasionally, OH will put on her coat and lipstick, and say Right, I,m off!' But then sits down, and has no idea where she had decided to go. We are late 70,s and I am finding it tough to keep my usual endless good humour. This is 'early onset', I am dreading the progression that is ahead.

 

[Grannie G]

When I noticed my husband had problems I realised it was because his coordination was becoming so poor he was struggling with the pure mechanics of getting dressed. For example, before he was able to zip up his trousers, they had fallen down because he had lost the skill of positioning his legs to keep them up.

I threaded some wide elastic through the trouser loops so they stayed up and allowed him time to zip and fasten.

It took a while to allow him to accept help but once he did life was much easier.

It was a nightmare getting him to accept elastic waisted joggers.