support groups

[amnmont]

Hi, I haven't been on here in ages so I am sorry if I am in the wrong place or there is the answer to my question on another page!

My mum is in care home - she's 64. She doesn't recognise us and is often asleep the whole visit.

I am after any advice on support groups available. Are there any and if so how can I find them in my area (Southampton). Mum has been in the care home for five years and I still am no better at dealing with it then I was five years ago. Thought perhaps it was time to talk about it instead of trying to convince myself that I'm fine!!

thank you for any help.

 

[annii1]

Hi there
My mum has just gone into a care home and I am finding it so very traumatic. You have obviously been going through this for a long time and its no easier for you. I feel for you. I am going to counselling sessions, I had 2 a few months ago and just ranted really about my mum, the situation. Does it help, I don't know really, it's draining and she does give guidance on how to manage feelings, worth a try I thought. I may go to a local group I don't know, but I feel that although I am generally a private person I need to talk about this a great deal to whoever will listen really, it's strange. I hope the idea for counselling helps and best wishes.

 

[BeckyJan]

Hello,
If I were in your position I would be contacting the local Alzheimer's Society group. You can find you local branch here.

Much depends on what you need but hopefully they can point you in the right direction.

Let us know how you get on as it is important for us to know what services work well for us (as well as those who don't).

 

[amnmont]

Thank you both for your replies. Beckyjan I will contact the Society for further details and I will definitely let you know how I get on.

Annii1 - I am sorry to hear about your mum. I have thought of counselling - when it was first suggested to me when mum first went into the home I was completely against the idea - all I wanted then was a cure for mum and nothing else! But now I feel that perhaps it is an option - my friend thinks that I am going through the stages of grief, so with that and the problems with the family that has occured since mum has gone into the home I feel that it's quite a struggle. I know what you mean about wanting to talk about it a lot!

 

[Saffie]

I don't know where exactly you are but the Carers Forum, based in a small town near me has a support group and cafe plus drop -in centre. I receive all the particulars and have attended a course run by them before my husband went into a nursing home. As he is in a nursing home, I haven't used the facilities but they do seem to be very active. I can PM you dertails if you think this may help.

 

[amnmont]

Saffie that would be great. Many thanks x

 

[kingmidas1962]

I've had 12 counselling sessions now and just feel like I'm getting somewhere! It's hard at first - I needed to get everything out of my system and I found out a fair bit about myself and my relationship with my mother before I felt I could move on and put some plans and strategies into place to help me cope long term.

I had though of going to GP initially as I felt very low but wanted to avoid medication (just my personal preference) and the therapist basically said that rather than being depressed I'm bereaved and traumatised by my parents illnesses and the massive changes in my life.

I did my fair share of ranting but I found it better than burdening my family with it, although they've been most supportive.

 

[amnmont]

Kingmidas - that's how I feel. I thought i was depressed but i didn't want to go down the medication route either. It wasn't until my friend said she thought I was grieving that it made sense.

I do think after reading these posts that I should consider counselling. Thank you for your reply and I am glad that the counselling is helping you. x