A bad day!

[XY123]

This is a pointless post but I've had such a bad day with mum, well the whole weeks has been poo really. She is declining so so quickly I can't see her being at home in 12 months, as soon as I write the care plan and it's signed off by the mental health team, her care needs blooming change and I'm back to square one!

She was sat in my house this morning, being vile to my 6 year old son (who is simply too loud and boyish for her), then she was vile to my poor old dad who literally has aged 100 years in three days as they have been to visit family and an awful thought came to me......(it's terrible and I feel so guilty)..... But I actually thought "what is actually left to like"!? She was my closest friend and I loved her so so much, I could tell her anything and now I'm left with someone who looks like her but in reality couldn't be further from "my mum".



Sorry for the downer xx

 

[Varandas]

I am sorry for you XY123, we all have now and then a bad day. I am so sorry that you have to see your darling Mom becoming this shell - and your son will only remember this! AD is a dreadful illness that robs from us beautiful lives.
I wish I could say it will get better, but no, this phase will pass- check with the dr about her medication and hopefully your Mom will settle down a bit - and then again is another phase. We live and learn - and adjust to a different situation.
Last Xmas, I thought it would be the last one at home, however I am still hopeful that we will be at home somehow, still.
Hang on, try to stick to a routine and hopefully things will calm down.
Your Mom is still there (for a little longer) and it is just this terribly dark cloud around your darling Mom.
Keep well and Courage
best wishes xx

 

[Ephraim]

Poor you! That's a bad day indeed.

I feel so sorry for you, your Dad and your little boy.

All I can say is that perhaps your Mum could do with a review at the memory clinic. If she is being 'vile' to others and this is consistant behavour, then she may benefit from some tablets to reduce her aggression and frustration.

I look at my Dad and wonder what is there to like sometimes. Then a little bit of him surfaces and I realise he is still in there, hidden behind the shell he has become. I think back to years ago when he was a great Dad and that helps me get through a bad day.

best wishes,
Ephraim

 

[CollegeGirl]

I'm so sorry XY123. If it helps, I find there is very little to like about my own mam these days, so you are not alone. She is totally vile to my dad, and me, and most people she comes into contact with these days.

But occasionally, by some small miracle, her old personality comes through. This week I've had a lovely cuddle from her and was able to tell her that I love her. Because I do, even though I don't like her much any more.

I hope you get these glimpses of your old mum soon.

Hang on in there xx

 

[lleuadwen]

Yesterday was such a day for my wonderful dad and me too! My mam had the worst episode ever, running up the garden shouting for help trying to escape out of the front door, knocked a cup of tea my dad offered her all over him. It was heartbreaking, we were both so upset. It took us a while but with some music she eventually calmed down.

This is not my mum, she has always been the voice of reason and calm in our family, the gentlest of people.

My dad has been stubborn refusing support to help him care for her but she has deteriorated so much in terms f her behaviour in the last few weeks that he has finally asked for support. So we are waiting for an assessment from social services and the cpn is calling Wednesday.

I so hope that some of the stress will lift from dad soon...