It's quite a journey!

[sue k]

steve

good to hear your dad has his sense of humour , it makes mt day when my dad manages a smile or a chuckle

As for the state of the hospital ward , keep complaining , something we all need to do more of ......... maybe , just maybe something would get done then.

You mentioned about care homes being 10 miles away, i live in warrington and my dad has been placed in a care home in skelmsdale 30 mins away on 2 motorways not sure how many miles it is , should check really .

I hope in time something suitable comes up for you
take care

 

[Margaret W]

Steve

Hope you get it sorted. I am now off to write a letter of thanks to the psychiatric ward of our local hospital where mum is, cos none of this applies to them. The staff are plentiful, caring, the place is scrupulously clean, not a smell around despite 20 demented patients, they had had strawberries and cream this afternoon while Wimbledon was on (or not on, cos of the rain!), I was even offered some myself! (Oh, and my mum told me they were all taken off to wash their hands first!).

Yes, we've lost a pair of glasses, bu t I can't prove we took them with us (but we did), and some used knickers seem to have disappeared (wonder who wanted them?), but otherwise the place is excellent.

Wish everyone else had the same experience.

I might not have the same luck when it comes to discharging mum, I don't believe the own-home facilities are that great in our area, and there is only one local care home that takes Alzheimer's sufferers and it has only ten places, which I am pretty sure are full.

Good luck Steve

Keep on this site, cos everyone has something useful to add, and even though I'm new to it, I don't know what I would have done without it.

Love

Margaret

 

[SteveS]

Thanks all, for your moral support - we are getting somewhere with the complaint, the hospital is looking at our "pointers" and has guaranteed some action, if at least to resolve our problems.

This forum is comforting, and helps me at least to come to terms with the distress we face, but at least it helps me to remain composed, and focussed.

i like to read through the various threads, they raise a smile, and sometimes shed a tear.

Will keep you posted and hope to share experiences, even sometimes some supporting wisdom.

 

[Grannie G]

Hi Steve,

It`s good to hear you`re feeling a bit better and are able to move, as far as the complaint is concerned.

It gives you a bit of control back in your life, as we face having no control over Alzheimers.

Take care and keep posting.

Love xx

 

[SteveS]

just returned from another visit - Dad is quiet and his speech is deteriorating, always finding it harder to find the correct descripitve word. frustrating as he just gives in when he can't get there. A glimmer of hope in the more sense he makes of understanding what we say, but the two hours were really just silent company.

another patient was treated to a torrent of shouting as he was awoken by " hello, we've come to get you moving" he woke up "come on now we've got to give you soem physio" - he was reluctant and sleepy, shouted out "no!" obviously he didn't want to go - physios move him off - he comes striaght back to "we're too busy to do this", "..you're wasting our time..." "don't do this next week as we're really short staffed..." - this at the top of her voice....a senior member of staff shouting at a patient in front of other patients and visitors...extremely upsetting and highly unprofessional.

We were all embarrassed at the situation - dignity indeed

Dad, however got through it, knew what was happening by his expression, remarked "not nice that" (found those words).

We're visitng homes this weekend, can't wait to get him out of there - like a padded cell.

 

[Kathleen]

another patient was treated to a torrent of shouting as he was awoken by " hello, we've come to get you moving" he woke up "come on now we've got to give you soem physio" - he was reluctant and sleepy, shouted out "no!" obviously he didn't want to go - physios move him off - he comes striaght back to "we're too busy to do this", "..you're wasting our time..." "don't do this next week as we're really short staffed..." - this at the top of her voice....a senior member of staff shouting at a patient in front of other patients and visitors...extremely upsetting and highly unprofessional.

We were all embarrassed at the situation - dignity indeed

Dad, however got through it, knew what was happening by his expression, remarked "not nice that" (found those words).:

You should put this in writing and let your social worker advise you what steps to take.

I wrote and complained to the owner of the home where Mum is about a staff member berating other staff............he left before the end of the week!

The other staff members were very relieved, but have no idea I had written to the owner, it was all dealt with in the strictest confidence.

The way I see it is Mum has us to look out for her, some residents have no-one, I would make a complaint if any of the residents were treated badly.

Kathleen

 

[Margaret W]

Dad

Gee, Steve, the situation in your dad's hospital sounds a cause for concern.

There are three ladies in my mum's ward who cause problems, one shouts like a parrot, day and night, one argues with staff and patients about anything and everything - thinks it is her own home, shouts that the chairs are untidy, she wants them moving, and one spits at staff, fellow patients and visitors. This latter lady grabbed hold of a nurse's hair the other day and pulled it like mad. But the reaction from the staff to all of these occurrences was one of calm and acceptance. To the lady who argues, they told her quietly and calmly that it wasn't her home, but was the home of several people so she had to learn to share it. To the lady who pulled the nurse's hair they said "that is not good behaviour, please don't do it again", but there was no anger or annoyance protrayed. I feel I am very lucky where my mum is.

My mum is probably one of their best patients, she has no behavioural problems at all, in fact is a model patient. She has made friends with two other ladies, one of whom seems very lively and keeps them all going, the other seems quite comatose to me but my mum and her friend keep including her in their conversations. The patients are almost as caring as the staff. How lucky I am.

I have had lots of negative experiences in the NHS over the years, but this psychiatric unit in "our" local hospital is superb so far. Probably on the list for closure though! As is everything else in our area.

To anyone who doesn't feel that their relative is getting the treatment that my mum is getting I would say complain, complain, complain. These relatives are worth a lot to us and deserve the best they can get.

Love to all, but especially to Steve.

Margaret

 

[SteveS]

message left on my mobile today - the Social Worker - have we managed to fill in the green assessment form she left for us last Friday? She's keen to get it in for the money people to look at -

I Bet!

Now they've got my Mum believing Dad should really be in a home, they are now pushing us.....can you believe the brass neck?

Dad was a little flustered yesterday, he invited himself to a meeting with another patient and his physio, the physio ignored him, and as we arrived to pull him away, we found he was spouting rubbish to contribute to the conversation. We wheeled him back to his bedside, his medication was spat out into his juice drink from lunch time (12:00, we arrived at 2pm) with the dispenser cup floating on top.

I informed the a staff member who vowed to pass on the message. An hour later I asked the Sister in charge if she had the message - she denied knowing (but was around that other staff member), a staff nurse arrived two minutes later to apologise - tells us the obvious and we iterate that Dad has to supervised with tablets, oh when will they listen? We're then informed he has another infection, they think it's the reocurring water infection, she'll get a pot for him to give a sample, maybe we could help (like hell we will - it's their responsibility) - we overhear another berating, it upsets Dad, and makes us wonder.......

It's getting us all down - do we visit the homes now, Mum's not too well, or do we wait until we have had that "professionals" meeting we were promised three weeks ago.

The Sister told another member of staff that nothing is to be put on the walls as the ward is borrowed whilst the other is renovated, and they will get into trouble. Still no TV for these patients, no radio, and intermittent looking in by a member of staff every half hour, or so (and thats on the generous side). It's a wonder anyone survives mentally in that ward system, the silence is deafening, the boredom must be soul destroying when there's no company present.

enough from me (this forum is great therapy) - must do some work.

Steve

 

[j.j]

hi steve just read your thread and we are in very much the same position as yourselves, our mam is in assesment unit and it is soul destroying, the patients are there to be assessed but how you can honestly asses anyone under these conditions beggers belief, there is no stimulation whatsoever! hope things get better for you
jan

 

[Grannie G]

Dear Steve,

It would do no harm to start looking at homes. You will probably need to look at quite a few, before you find one suitable.

It will at least give you something constructive to do, whilst you`re waiting for decisions.

The more I hear about assessment units, the more horrified I am. I think this one warrants an official complaint, to the management/hospital trust/whoever has responsibility. If everyone who has these dreadful experiences reports them, we might get somewhere.

Keep us posted. xx

 

[SteveS]

We are looking at homes just now, but time is at a premium. Mum is keen to get things sorted, my brother and i have our own jobs and families. Work is demanding for me as a manager, and they have been really accomodating with bunking off during the day to see Dad (he's asleep from 7pm). I have to catch up early morning and late evening.

we've got some volunteer visitors to fill in where we can't get out.

I'm trying to get it all rolling before i take my holiday in August

Dad is at a stable stage, we guess. No one is really interested at the hospital because he's medically fit (apart from the infection he had), and a drain on resource. His speech and reasoning is declining, although he put "senile" into a sentence, and we wondered what he was thinking. Conversations are repetetive, non-sensicle and hard to take part in. but seeing mum sit in silence, just there for the company ensures that their time together is as much a quality time.

When we leave, he says "hang on Steve, I'm coming with you" and starts off in his chair. Mum baulks a little, "sorry you've got to stay for a while, we'll be back later" - hurry up then" he says "and bring some of those..." he forget the words for cigarette and mimes putting one in his mouth. We leave, no words are exchanged, Mum shaken and guilty about leaving him there.