ROCK BOTTOM
I wrote this one day last week, but it’s been such a busy week I have only just remembered I did! How cruel, can one disease be?
As I lay there in bed, my eyes wildly scanning for somebody to be there, did I realise how ill I really was. I knew I was dying, I felt so awful I knew that the moment I closed my eyes, it would all be over, the end, no more laughter, no more family and no more Elaine.
OH MY GOD! Elaine! I tried to shout “I love you Elaine “and was horrified that nothing came out my mouth. I have long promised, that if at all possible, the last words on my lips on this earth would be “I love you” for Elaine to hear. I tried again but to no avail. Where was she? Why was I here, all alone? I felt so very very cold, freezing, how could this be in the middle of a heat wave? Maybe it was the illness that was taking my life so very swiftly. Again I shivered as if I was sat on ice. Looking around the room all was clear as day, and yet I couldn’t figure out if it was day or night. I tried to move but felt totally exhausted and unable to.
With my thoughts running wild, all I could think about was my life so far, what we, (My Family) have all done together so far, and more importantly, with so much more to do!! The scream started way below in my deepest recesses and I mustered all the strength I could, to shout those three words I wanted to shout so much!! I LOVE YOU!!!! and then, from that moment, time began to speed up, I was feeling better and I finally came to (Out of the hallucination I was having) only to find my darling ANGEL Elaine next to me trying to bring me back to reality.
I walked into the front room and sat there, head in hands and tear’s flowing, for what seemed like an age trying to make some sense of it all, and then it dawned on me. It was just another cruel trick by Lewy Bodies. It was just Lewy bodies reminding me that he can strike at anytime, anywhere, anyhow!! HOW CRUEL CAN ONE DISEASE BE TO DO THIS? I have NEVER experienced anything like this and hope I don’t again. I have no words to explain how frightened I was, and still am in fear of this happening again. I have to live with this every day now, being frightened of going to bed, or slipping into a “Catatonic Trance” this is my Sentence in life.
I wish I had some cheery last words to finish with but this time I haven’t, but I can say by sharing this I hope to try and explain in some small way the torment that people with Lewy Bodies have to go through, almost on a daily basis
Thank you to each and every one of you for your continuing support
Lots of “HUGS”
Norrms and family xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I wrote this one day last week, but it’s been such a busy week I have only just remembered I did! How cruel, can one disease be?
As I lay there in bed, my eyes wildly scanning for somebody to be there, did I realise how ill I really was. I knew I was dying, I felt so awful I knew that the moment I closed my eyes, it would all be over, the end, no more laughter, no more family and no more Elaine.
OH MY GOD! Elaine! I tried to shout “I love you Elaine “and was horrified that nothing came out my mouth. I have long promised, that if at all possible, the last words on my lips on this earth would be “I love you” for Elaine to hear. I tried again but to no avail. Where was she? Why was I here, all alone? I felt so very very cold, freezing, how could this be in the middle of a heat wave? Maybe it was the illness that was taking my life so very swiftly. Again I shivered as if I was sat on ice. Looking around the room all was clear as day, and yet I couldn’t figure out if it was day or night. I tried to move but felt totally exhausted and unable to.
With my thoughts running wild, all I could think about was my life so far, what we, (My Family) have all done together so far, and more importantly, with so much more to do!! The scream started way below in my deepest recesses and I mustered all the strength I could, to shout those three words I wanted to shout so much!! I LOVE YOU!!!! and then, from that moment, time began to speed up, I was feeling better and I finally came to (Out of the hallucination I was having) only to find my darling ANGEL Elaine next to me trying to bring me back to reality.
I walked into the front room and sat there, head in hands and tear’s flowing, for what seemed like an age trying to make some sense of it all, and then it dawned on me. It was just another cruel trick by Lewy Bodies. It was just Lewy bodies reminding me that he can strike at anytime, anywhere, anyhow!! HOW CRUEL CAN ONE DISEASE BE TO DO THIS? I have NEVER experienced anything like this and hope I don’t again. I have no words to explain how frightened I was, and still am in fear of this happening again. I have to live with this every day now, being frightened of going to bed, or slipping into a “Catatonic Trance” this is my Sentence in life.
I wish I had some cheery last words to finish with but this time I haven’t, but I can say by sharing this I hope to try and explain in some small way the torment that people with Lewy Bodies have to go through, almost on a daily basis
Thank you to each and every one of you for your continuing support
Lots of “HUGS”
Norrms and family xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
