I’m sorry if this is the wrong place to post a this, I’m new here and could really do with some help and advice.
I’m currently caring along with my mother for my grandmother who is 76, she is suffering from Alzheimer’s, its taken us nearly 3 years to finally get a doctor to say the word Alzheimer’s. At first it was all just put down to old age. which we knew it wasnt just "old age"
I know she isn’t the same woman she once was and I realise that we all do. But things are getting so so hard, not just the personal care side of things because that’s the easy bit. It’s the emotional side of things, the constant violent outbursts, the verbal abuse, even the repetitiveness of the convocation. 2 hours is starting to feel like a 12 hour night shift.
Social services aren’t helping much at all, their help has so far stretched to a Toilet frame to make it easier for my Gran, but that’s about it. We have asked for just an hour’s break, just to be able to go out and do some shopping with out having to rush back, or to go out for a meal, two weeks ago a lady from Social services said she would get back to us but so far we haven’t herd back from her. I realise these things can take time. Having said all that I don’t for one minute believe that my Gran would allow any one to sit with her or even go to a day centre.
My mum has left work to care for my Gran and I have also reduced my hours to part time in an effort to ease the load and stress on my mum.
This just doesn’t seam to be working; where ever we turn it seams to be a dead end, its not helping the fact that we are both at our wits end. My mum pretty much summed up how we are feeling when she said “ I love my mum, but right now I don’t like her”, and this is a horrible nasty way to feel and we don’t want to feel like this .
How do you guys do it? How do you cope?
Right now this isn’t the best thing for my Gran, we are starting to almost resent her. It shouldn’t be like this.
Sorry for the rant. I just needed to get this off my chest I know I am coming across as selfish but that’s honestly not me,
I’m currently caring along with my mother for my grandmother who is 76, she is suffering from Alzheimer’s, its taken us nearly 3 years to finally get a doctor to say the word Alzheimer’s. At first it was all just put down to old age. which we knew it wasnt just "old age"
I know she isn’t the same woman she once was and I realise that we all do. But things are getting so so hard, not just the personal care side of things because that’s the easy bit. It’s the emotional side of things, the constant violent outbursts, the verbal abuse, even the repetitiveness of the convocation. 2 hours is starting to feel like a 12 hour night shift.
Social services aren’t helping much at all, their help has so far stretched to a Toilet frame to make it easier for my Gran, but that’s about it. We have asked for just an hour’s break, just to be able to go out and do some shopping with out having to rush back, or to go out for a meal, two weeks ago a lady from Social services said she would get back to us but so far we haven’t herd back from her. I realise these things can take time. Having said all that I don’t for one minute believe that my Gran would allow any one to sit with her or even go to a day centre.
My mum has left work to care for my Gran and I have also reduced my hours to part time in an effort to ease the load and stress on my mum.
This just doesn’t seam to be working; where ever we turn it seams to be a dead end, its not helping the fact that we are both at our wits end. My mum pretty much summed up how we are feeling when she said “ I love my mum, but right now I don’t like her”, and this is a horrible nasty way to feel and we don’t want to feel like this .
How do you guys do it? How do you cope?
Right now this isn’t the best thing for my Gran, we are starting to almost resent her. It shouldn’t be like this.
Sorry for the rant. I just needed to get this off my chest I know I am coming across as selfish but that’s honestly not me,