Can dolls be a good source of comfort for dementia?

[Apple123]

Hi,
My mother is in a care home. She has always been a caring, loving person. Recently she has become worse, for no apparent reason.
She has become attached to doll at the care home. My mum and other ladies, think the dolls are real.
(they seem to have lots, dotted around the place).
I have no issues with her having this doll to 'look after' as I feel that if it is keeping her happy and contented, where is the harm? Others do not agree!
Has anyone had the same experience or can advise, please.

 

[nicoise]

My mum loved dolls (and babies) all her life. They brought her great comfort in her dementia.

There have been threads in the past about dolls; also cuddly toys with soft fur have been popular too.

If it brings happiness and meets a need, I can't see why this should be an issue.

 

[Daisy Jane]

Hi Apple

I've not been on TP for a while. It's been 2 years since I lost my Mum but your question brought back memories.

I've posted before about Mum and her cuddly toy - she stroked it when she became agitated, even when she was passed the stage of seeing it as a character, animal or doll. It seemed that she reverted back to her maternal instinct, wanting to stroke and comfort.

It was tough at first to accept that she had her own perception of what the toy was. But we soon realised that it didn't matter. For Mum, it was real and relaxing, something she connected with. Nothing else mattered.

Mum went through so many phases, more than I could count. But when we accepted them as part of a process, it was easier to come to terms with and better for Mum.

Your post did remind me of a time before Mum wasn't able to speak, when she spent hours and hours shouting for `the baby, the baby`. Maybe that was in her mind when she was given the toy - she was certainly calmer after that. Or maybe she would have become calm anyway. Who knows? Who cares? We did what we thought best to help her and comfort her. That's what counts x x x

Lots of love x

Sent from my GT-I9100P using Talking Point mobile app

 

[Fed Up]

I think its lovely that comfort can be found in holding a doll in a world none of us yet understand in the "normal world". I'd give my mum a doll, a teddy bear if she wanted one and I think anything that soothes and offers solace is simply wonderful. I believe that when this awful illness takes hold is all we can do is offer comfort and love and compassion.

 

[JaneDee]

It's a path we are planning on taking

On the plus side, my mum has always loved dolls!

This blog reviews doll therapy and is beautifully written:

http://design4dementia.blogspot.co.uk/2013/07/dementia-and-doll-therapy-mum-and-her.html?m=1

 

[Saffie]

I have taken into my husband's nursing home a soft dog which is as similar to our Golden reriever as I could find. Sometimes he thinks it real, judging from the expression on his face when he looks at the dog's face but sometimes it is just something soft that he can hold, stroke and take comfort from.

On Saturday, the home held their summer fete and a resident lady was sitting nursing a quite small doll, wrapping it up carefully in it's blanket, looking at it tenderly and cuddling it. It brought tears to my eyes. I though it was lovely.

 

[stardust_79]

My nan was diagnosed with alzheimer's in 2004 n had to go into a care home in 2011. She used to have a dog when at home to help keep her in a routine feedin him n toiletin him etc. She started to lose her eyesight which affected both or lives everything became more diffcult n nan shut down n would not communicate with me or carers. In desperation I bought her a bright orange tigger toy just more for a visual stimulus n texture to feel it changes our lives for the better. She straight away called it fudge her dog n when she is trapped in her own little world n everyone else is a stranger tigger is still fudge n has been everyday since I bought it in 2011. She strokes it n chats to him n it comforts her when no one else can.

 

[jeany123]

Hello stardust and welcome to TP , what a lovely story ,


Jeany xx

 

[FifiMo]

Doll therapy is also being discussed on the following thread and if you do a search you will find it has been discussed frequently on here ...

http://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/show...ia&p=745151&highlight=Doll+therapy#post745151

Fiona

 

[lin1]

My Mum adored her teddies, I bought her a new one every christmas, the old ones had to be retired as they had been well loved
All were called Litlun, I still have oneas a keepsake.

Before Mum found it difficult to speak, cradling and rocking it in her arms she would whisper to litlun just as she would to a babe in arms, things like , I love you, now be a good girl

She spent hours each day stroking her teddie.
I used to play with it making it jump, do somersaults, when she had her knees bent up in bed, I used to make it slide down her legs jump from mums tum and kiss mums nose. Mum loved it all, I have many a fond memory of mum giggling away when her litlun was leaping around just for her

I know mum honestly believed that Litlun was her real baby as a couple of times I dropped it and she got upset

To those who say its wrong, demeaning etc, I say Bah Humbug, its the disease that is demeaning, things that give the person pleasure, help to calm them can only be good

Mum loved hers so much, I just couldnt let Mum go without one of her Litluns on her final journey

 

[stardust_79]

Hello stardust and welcome to TP , what a lovely story ,


Jeany xx

Thank u for the welcome jeany

 

[CAW]

Cuddly toy was a special thing

My mum took to a teddy bear and even gave him a name of her own (Archie). She seemed to find comfort from it and for a couple of years he was always either by her side or in her hand. I used to joke and say, 'you will have to give him up to me for a day mum as he needs a bath!' But I never had the heart to take him away, not even for a few moments. I would love to have kept that bear when mum passed at the end of last year, but we thought it would be fitting to have him take the journey to the other side with her as she loved him so much. God bless you mum, I miss you.

 

[Kate Grillet]

KateG Dolls and crying

My husband had Alzheimer's for 18 years; it was a long journey for us both. He died in May 2012. Our grandchildren gave him a large, soft grey hippopotamus, which he hugged and squeezed and kept tucked in next to him, when he slept, and during his last days and nights.
Now that he has gone, and I miss him terribly, the hippo is my sleeping companion.
I will even take it camping ! I cry a lot for him and for my loss of him.
For me singing is the best therapy, as it helps let all the feelings out. I don't expect it will ever end.

 

[Goingitalone]

My Mum also loves her 'babies'. The 'Berenguer' dolls are particularly lifelike and I used to take these apart, colour them to a natural skin colour and weight them to feel like real babies. The head has to be heavy so that you naturally support it as you would a real baby.

Mum has a couple of these dolls which I did for her when she was well. She's always loved babies and we both shared a passion for knitting and crocheting baby clothes so that I try to keep her 'babies' well dressed and clean.

I've lost count of the times the dolls have given her comfort in times of distress, so much so that one of the dolls accompany her whenever the staff at her home feel she will be upset by something, say, the chiropodist, for instance.

I can see no harm at all in dolls or teddies if they give comfort.

Here she is, cuddling her 'baby'. Doesn't she look happy?

 

[Grammy]

Dolls or toys can't do any harm but they can do a lot of good!!!

 

[Fed Up]

This thread upsets me for the right reason, love and compassion have triumphed over the political correctness of the brigade who think because the person is an adult we must treat them as such regardless of the fact that the mind has retreated to a place we can't reach.
I love the picture of the lady so happy with the doll and fudge, and the story of littlun, is so moving. Thank you for reinforcing the idea of sympathetic actions and devices which bring comfort to our loved ones whose worlds are narrowing and sometimes lonely. I wonder at the motives of those who believe in truth at all costs as well. Life for some is hard enough why make it distressing as well if it can be avoided.

 

[Apple123]

My mum and her doll

Hi, I haven't had chance to view the forum since I posted the question.
Thank you sooo much for all your responses. They have all brought a tear to my eye!
I visited my mum the other day and I was informed that the doll was 'getting in the way' of my mum eating her meals and that it had to be confiscated! Apparently she was trying to feed her baby and not feeding herself.

This, I feel had distressed her alot and I don't see why the staff at the care home cannot 'distract' her, or use their training to maybe encourage her to 'put the doll to bed' whilst she eat her food?

Surely they are trained for these scenarios?

Thank you again for all your kind remarks and valued stories which we all can share.

xxx

 

[SussexRokx]

On the plus side, my mum has always loved dolls!

This blog reviews doll therapy and is beautifully written:

http://design4dementia.blogspot.co.uk/2013/07/dementia-and-doll-therapy-mum-and-her.html?m=1

Thank you for adding the link to my blog, and thank you for your kind comments.

I can't think of anything to add, as the blog effectively says it all.

 

[Jackdaw]

Empathy dolls and dementia

There has been a study on the benefits of special dolls,called EMPATHY DOLLS, that can give comfort and allow the person to reconnect with their caring and nurturing instincts.
The dolls are soft and weighted to feel like natural babies.The dolls are left for the person or persons to chose to pick for themselves rather than giving the doll to the person.Interestingly both male and female dementia sufferers have picked them up and received a lot of benefit from them.
I have witnessed a lady with very severe dementia from not being able to communicate
to people to cradling and singing to her baby.My own mum loves her special doll and it can distract her if she's becoming distressed.They are not cheap but so worth it.
I really hope others will be able to benefit from the dolls.

 

[lin1]

!
I visited my mum the other day and I was informed that the doll was 'getting in the way' of my mum eating her meals and that it had to be confiscated! Apparently she was trying to feed her baby and not feeding herself.

This, I feel had distressed her alot and I don't see why the staff at the care home cannot 'distract' her, or use their training to maybe encourage her to 'put the doll to bed' whilst she eat her food?

Surely they are trained for these scenarios?

xxx

Hi Apple
No I dont think they are trained for these scenarios, it may well be that they do find the Dolls an inconvenience at meal times,some places only allow a certain amount of time for giving meals, but if eating meals is too slow because the person is feeding their baby then their are often ways around this, distracting to remove the doll just befor meal times and returning the doll afterwards

IMO confiscating something that gives so much pleasure and comfort borders on cruelty. I too would not have been happy about this,
their were times I had to take litlun away from mum, mainly when I had to do the nails of the hand mum held teddy with, I distracted mum then gave teddy back directly afterwards

Perhaps have a word the the manager about this , I am not saying to report, but to suggest they should distract to remove the doll and return it afterwards, maybe a staff member could ask for a cuddle of the doll and pretend to feed it, or ask to cuddle it then return it to mums chair so its their when she returns after the meal

I know eating enough is vital, but their must be a way round this