My apologies

[garnuft]

Margaret, your photographs and stories of your days are like an oasis in a desert, I suppose they are to you too, you love George so much it is wonderful and refreshing to read. Thank you for sharing all the ups and downs with us.

Loo, you write so beautifully.

 

[LYN T]

Dear Margaret

I've obviously missed this thread because I've only just found it! I would have replied before now as I always look out for your posts.

I love hearing about your good days. They give me hope when I'm having a bad one. And I loved your photos.As a matter of fact I like all good news stories-it can't all be problems and misery can it?

I remember how distraught you were when George had to go to a CH and shortly afterwards I had to face the same with Pete. I feel as though we are on the journey together-not alone with just our Husbands to share it with.

It's all ups and downs anyway -as I can tell by your latest post.I will be posting later today about a strange happening with Pete so my latest 'happy' posts are temporarily at an end.

Keep going my dear

Love from Lyn T

 

[Margaret938]

Thank you garnuft and LynT, I am pleased that you enjoy my photographs, and glad that you like to follow my posts through thick and thin, This is a hell of a journey we are all taking, and it is so nice to have someone to unload our feelings to, kind people like you on TP who understand what we are all going through.
I love you all,
Margaret xx

 

[NanLorac]

Margaret I am so glad you had lots of replies to your post.

We bought this house with a corner plot so that we could enjoy our retirement looking after the large garden. My husband is now 62 and I am left with all the work in the garden as well as working and looking after the house, so the garden was getting on top of me. I did the borders flowers, bushes etc and he did the grass but as the grass grew this year, so did the moss that I had not noticed was taking over the lawns and I can no longer let him loose with a lawnmower etc so it was getting on top of me. I had told my daughter that our garden was just a chore that I was beginning to hate.

A week later I found your thread with you pictures of your plants and flowers and George in his Hawaiian shirt, always smiling. You have inspired me so much that I have scarified the laws and removed 43 black bags of moss, cut, no chopped back the early flowering bushes. The lawns had weed feed and mosskiller put down and I lost 5lb with all the hard work. it has been raining for about a week and the grass is lush green and I have hope now that I can keep on top of things, look after my husband and have a lovely garden.

So thank you Margaret, for giving me hope that I can be like you and keep my garden flourishing and my husband happy. You had so many people following your thread because people like you and Izzy keep us going with how you are enjoying your days with your husbands, despite what this disease has done to your lives.

Big HUG, Carol x

 

[Margaret938]

Hello Carol
Thank you for saying that I am an inspiration to you. (Wow 43 backs !!) no wonder you lost weight scarifying all that from the lawn. Well done. The tables have now turned, you are now an inspiration to me, I was beginning to lose heart in the garden over the past week or two, since my family went back to Ireland I have been feeling low and now with George having his medication doubled and the initial side effects, I am just going through the motions of day to day living. BUT you have made me think again and I have just washed and blow dried my hair and have planned what I am going to do in the garden, before the rain comes on !! and before I go up to see George in the afternoon. This illness has highs and lows and it is a lot for us all to contend with. Thank you for giving me push, I needed it.
Glad your grass is looking good, what about a photo?

Love Margaret x

 

[Margaret938]

Guess what, torrential rain I just got started in the rose garden, I will have to find some thing else to do, like housework....maybe !
Love Margaret x

 

[LYN T]

Hi Margaret

Torrential rain here also. I had to drag the dog out for a walk as he doesn't like getting wet even with his coat on!

I'm doing housework also It doesn't get nearly so untidy now that P's not at home-never thought I would miss his messiness and the destruction he caused in the home, but I do

Whenever we have visited Scotland (Isle of Skye was our favourite) we always had good weather, and we always visited March/April time!

I'm off to visit Pete now to help with the lunch. No 'excursions' today-I will read P some poetry and listen to some music in his room.

The last two weeks I've had visitors-Pete's nephew and his wife from Australia and friends from Canada. So now I'm on my own again I'm finding time to post and look for a part time job.

Love from Lyn T

 

[Jilly1]

Don't feel guilty Margaret. As you can see by all the lovely replies everyone is pleased you are able to have your darling husband home. You have been an absolute tower of strength for me and I feel bad because I am asking you things that Geoff and I have yet to come up against. Being at the beginning of our journey makes me feel bad even being on here.

 

[nita]

Jilly, reading what you say, I feel I ought to tell you not to feel bad! I don't know if I should be writing on this part of the forum as it is my Mum I look after not husband, but I have been using this forum ever since Mum had her first downturn which was when I felt I needed some advice. The forum is here for people at any stage of the illness and it is quite right you should post your fears/concerns here as there will be someone who has useful experience they can pass on. I wish I had discovered it earlier as I would have had some idea of what was coming and been more prepared, e.g. with POA as I had to get deputyship with the COP by the time I'd thought about it. Also, I suppose I may have been in denial a bit in the early stages.

Don't feel guilty Margaret. As you can see by all the lovely replies everyone is pleased you are able to have your darling husband home. You have been an absolute tower of strength for me and I feel bad because I am asking you things that Geoff and I have yet to come up against. Being at the beginning of our journey makes me feel bad even being on here.

 

[Starshine]

Definatley good care out there....

Loved Jaymore's post, it showed the compassion that there is in the world, I haven't been on tp for far too long, it used to be the only thing that kept me sane! guess we only peek in when pressure is on sometimes....this time not...am pleased to report that Auntie is still going strong in her nh...and is very happy and much loved by all inc us! After the few years heartaches we had suffered its lovely to see she is settled and happy and want everyone to believe it does sometimes get easier, am amazed that so many names of carers are still around, some that I had talked to through tp....I wish everyone to continue to share and care - it def helps ourselves and others to just read and understand

 

[Margaret938]

Hello Lyn and Jilly,
I have decided to go up in the evening, because of the heavy rain just now, I phoned and the Duty Manager, said George was very settled and happy, so we shall see what he is live after tea.
What a good idea Lyn, George used to love listening to poetry, I wonder if he would like me to read it to him, I will take my book up tonight and give it a try anyway. He was particularly fond of The Highwayman and Sea Fever. I learn something new everyday from TP'ers. You see Jilly we all help each other and don't feel bad about asking anyone for advice, forewarned is forearmed. I remember when George was first diagnosed, unfortunately I did not know about TP at that time, I used search the internet night after night hungry for information, and try to find out anything I could from people who had gone through what I knew I was going to have to go through eventually. We all like to know what is in front of us, although we do say one day at a time, we are afraid of the future, we are only human.
Any more good ideas Lyn, please pass them on.
I was wondering what had happened to you, I was missing your posts about Pete, now I know that your were busy with visitors.
Looks like the rain has stopped again, but I will still wait until evening.
Love to all,
Margaret x

 

[Loopiloo]

Hello Margaret

I read all your posts although have not managed to write much of late. I do feel an affinity. Like you and others I miss my husband so very much. I love reading about your visits with George, and well, all that you write.

I remember doing what you did:

I used search the internet night after night hungry for information, and try to find out anything I could from people who had gone through what I knew I was going to have to go through eventually. We all like to know what is in front of us, although we do say one day at a time, we are afraid of the future, we are only human.

I think finding TP saved my sanity and I so wished that I had found it much earler, and cannot think why I missed it. At that time, 2010, my husband had had vascular dementia for 7-8 years. Then I joined TP and discovered so many others going through what we were, until then I felt so lonely and isolated. Littie did I know then that just over six months later my husband would be in a care home.

There are no words to express what TP means to me, how much it has helped. The friendship, sharing, the caring concern, the advice and help and guidance. And much much more.

It is heavily raining here too (near Stirling), and what a pity it stopped you getting into your beautiful garden. Here's hoping the sun returns - but hopefully not toooo hot! I am glad Carol's inspiring post awakened your love of your garden again. Hoping to see more lovely photos at some time.

I think the Scottish weather is to be better tomorrow, then wet again Thusday.

I hope when you visited tonight you found George still settled and happy and had a lovely visit together.

Thoughts and love
Loo xxx

 

[Margaret938]

Hello All
I managed to get up to see George tonight, the rain stopped and I got the 5.30 bus. I heard him before I saw him tonight rattling at the front door handle, I said "if you rattle that much more you will break it and I will have to pay for a new one" He laughed about that. I asked him where he was wanting to go He said Coupar Angus which is about 5 miles away, when I asked why Coupar Angus, he said he was going to the dance. We used to go to Dances there when we were young, before we were married. Where did that come from ??? Anyway, he was OK tonight I read poetry to him LYN, you gave me the idea, he listened and made faces when I was reading The Highwayman. I thought he might have joined in with Sea Fever but he didn't but he listened. I also read The Listeners and the Barn, I thought he might get fed up before I had read them all but he didn't. Thank you for the idea LYN.
He was more stooped tonight than yesterday afternoon, but I think he was tired. We shifted some furniture around in his room, and it looks nice. He enjoyed helping me.
I got him ready for bed and then took him downstairs to the lounge and he went away quite happily with one of the girls to get a comfy seat. All in all it was a very nice visit.
The Consultant went up to visit him today, wonders will never cease. I believe he has decided to keep him on the double dose meantime and is going to email me with his decision. I will wait to hear from him.
Thank you for all your replies,
Love Margaret x

 

[NanLorac]

Hi Margaret,

Its going to be nice tomorrow so you can get stuck in to the garden. I have the hedge trimmer battery on charge. I took a before picture of the biggest lawn but it was only fed a few days ago so not as far on as the rest. Once is greens up proper I will post a pic.

I am sitting here with Love your Garden on in the background.

I am only a year into this journey and I find that I read more than I post on TP but the people on here are wonderful and it seems that everyone is there for each other and you pull each other through the bad times and enjoy the good ones.

Looking forward to your next picture of George and your lovely garden.

Carol x