God help my mother and God help me.

Donbon79

Registered User
May 26, 2011
48
0
Blackpool, Lancashire
I feel let down and at the end of my tether. The whole situation is a bloody nightmare.

My mum should be in the nursing home that I chose now but due to the bloody hospital deciding she didn't need or qualify for nursing care and not listening to the CPN or social worker who have known her for 2 years she went to a residential home instead. Now she's kicking off every day wanting to go home, crying inconsolably, refusing medication, assaulting staff, escaping, disrupting the other residents every day and night, taking up too much time of the very limited staff they have on and to top it all off now they've completed a nursing assessment and once she's awarded nursing care funding she'll have to move to a nursing home.

The nursing home I chose no longer has any vacancies and it was the only one I would consider sending my mum to. There is a severe lack of EMI beds/homes in my area. I'm going end up having to send her to a nursing home I didn't particularly like and that didn't meet all the requirements on their CQC assessment.

Even if she's awarded Continuing Care she might not qualify after she has the 3 month reassessment so I can't even run the risk of putting her in a nursing home outside my local authority that i liked as if the Continuing Care is taken off her I can't afford the top up.

It's all a disaster.
 

Big Effort

Account Closed
Jul 8, 2012
1,927
0
Dear Donbon,

I am off to bed, hubby getting upset that I am still down stairs. Still I didn't want to leave here without letting you know I have read your post and I can understand your outrage and dispair.

Sometimes institutions are as capable of not-joined-up thinking as those they claim to care for! Please keep in touch as obviously you cannot let this fiasco take its course. There is a person, actually two, including you, at the centre of this. I would not let it settle.

Best of luck in taking on an institution. Wish it were different. Maybe others will have ideas of what to do.

Night now, hope tomorrow brings better times and kinder, more appropriate decisions for the one you love, BE
 

FifiMo

Registered User
Feb 10, 2010
4,703
0
Wiltshire
Donbon,

I would go back to the nursing home that you liked before and put her on their waiting list. It could be that the SW can get her put up the list a bit if it is an emergency that she moves OR, on the basis that you have identified somewhere, they may just keep her in the residential place a bit longer. First thing is to get her name on the list.

Fiona
 

end of my rope

Registered User
Feb 22, 2013
146
0
Hello Donbon

I've got my bossy head on this morning so here are some very forceful suggestions:
Write out all the reasons why the proposed nursing home doesn't meet your mother's needs - everything from care levels to health requirements to accessibility (for your mother to be able to get to the facilities within the residence) ease of visiting (for you and your family).
Write down why your nursing home of choice is the best option - everything from continuity to overall cost (far better value for money to get your mother settled once well than to chop and change).
In other words an old school compare and contrast...
I had to do this for my mother recently and she is now on a waiting list for the place that I think will best meet her needs and will not be moved from where she is unless and until a vacancy arises at that place.

I hope this helps a little, even if just by pushing your initial post higher up the page.

Best of

eomr