About nine weeks ago, just after my partner, Marquita, was taken into care for assessment under Section 2 of the Mental Health Act, a previous outreach worker had confided in me that, some time earlier, my partner had been diagnosed with Paranoid Ideation. But what was it, I thought?
I had known, almost from the day we met, Marquita was paranoid about things - mainly her neighbours - but didn't really think of it as an illness as such. Just something you say to people when they seem over-preoccupied with something. How wrong I was!
So, going onto the Internet, I began to research the subject, and I'm glad I did. The following is what I discovered, the symptoms, and those which affected my partner:
1 A long-standing pattern of pervasive distrust and suspicion of others.
2 A person with paranoid personality disorder will always believe that other
people’s motives are suspect, or even malevolent.
3 They assume other people will exploit, harm, or deceive them, even though no evidence exists to support this.
4 Paranoid Ideation (I.D.) pervades virtually every personal relationship they may have.
5 They have problems with close relationships.
6 Because they are hyper-vigilant for potential threats, they will act in a guarded, secretive, or even devious way, and may elicit a hostile response in others.
7 They lack trust in others.
8 They need to be self-sufficient and retain a strong sense of autonomy.
9 They need to have a high degree a control over those closest to them.
10 They are preoccupied with unjustified doubts about the loyalty, or trustworthiness, of friends or associates.
11 They read hidden demeaning or threatening meanings into benign remarks or events.
12 Persistently bear grudges, unforgiving of insults, injuries, or slights.
13 Quick to counter-attack against attacks on her character or reputation, and have great difficulty accepting criticism.
14 Has recurrent suspicions, without justification, regarding fidelity of spouse or sexual partner.
Those are the symptoms I easily recognised in my partner, and the following shows how they affected her:
1 She distrusted her neighbours, and most businesses in our home town. She would never post letters in town, never use local tradesmen etc.
2 She always believed her neighbours were watching her or out to steal from her.
3 She believed, on many occasions, her bank was stealing from her or ‘ripping her off’.
4 I.D. began to enter our relationship, eventually destroying it.
5 She also had problems with her previous partner who ‘was trying to kill her’.
6 She became devious with me, hiding and removing things as she felt I was stealing from her.
7 She didn't seem to trust anyone, specially the police, banks, doctors, etc.
8 She always insisted on doing everything herself, but constantly made dreadful errors in judgement which I had to resolve. Eventually, she told me I was ‘trying to take over her life’ or ‘dis-empowering her’.
9 She tried to change me, and became annoyed if I didn't do what she wanted.
10 She could not be convinced to trust anyone, especially neighbours or local traders.
11 She would always read something into the things people said, or the way they looked at her.
12 She always seemed to hate her neighbours, and would never forgive them for parking their cars anywhere near her property. She would take photos of their number plates, day or night, and of their bedroom windows because ‘they were spying on her’. She mistrusted the Royal Mail and took photos of postal workers outside her property and their vans.
13 If I ever disagreed with her when she was wrong about anything, she would go into one of her ‘manic’ rages and threaten to go home.
14 She almost lost me all my friends because she believed I was ‘having affairs’ – which I was not, they were only good friends who could sense all was not well with her, but declined to tell me until later.
So, add to all that her recently-diagnosed dementia (I still do not know the stage it's at) and possible schizophrenia (her mother and my partner's youngest son - now deceased - were both schizophrenics), and I can well understand why she has been in care and being assessed for the past nine weeks.
However, I am still willing to stand by her, give her whatever support - and love - I can, so that she may have as reasonable a life as possible. I will be hard, I know - possibly almost impossible - but my love for her tells me this is something I must do. My Faith is also strong, so I cannot turn my back on her. I do hope you will all understand.
When we first met, my partner-to-be told me, on a recent occasion, her doctor had told her 'she wouldn't live to be seventy' (Marquita was only 62 at the time!). She then said it was to do with having a weak heart. Although, when we asked my doctor he could find no evidence of that in her notes.
I have come to the conclusion it was then her dementia was discovered and the 'weak heart' was just to keep it from me. After all the symptoms I've noticed it does seem to me - although I'm certainly not a doctor - she could well be at the end of the early stage of dementia, or even at the beginning of the middle stage.
I still live in hope that, God willing, I may be able to help make the time she has left, at least comfortable for my dearest friend and partner.
Boy Albie.
I had known, almost from the day we met, Marquita was paranoid about things - mainly her neighbours - but didn't really think of it as an illness as such. Just something you say to people when they seem over-preoccupied with something. How wrong I was!
So, going onto the Internet, I began to research the subject, and I'm glad I did. The following is what I discovered, the symptoms, and those which affected my partner:
1 A long-standing pattern of pervasive distrust and suspicion of others.
2 A person with paranoid personality disorder will always believe that other
people’s motives are suspect, or even malevolent.
3 They assume other people will exploit, harm, or deceive them, even though no evidence exists to support this.
4 Paranoid Ideation (I.D.) pervades virtually every personal relationship they may have.
5 They have problems with close relationships.
6 Because they are hyper-vigilant for potential threats, they will act in a guarded, secretive, or even devious way, and may elicit a hostile response in others.
7 They lack trust in others.
8 They need to be self-sufficient and retain a strong sense of autonomy.
9 They need to have a high degree a control over those closest to them.
10 They are preoccupied with unjustified doubts about the loyalty, or trustworthiness, of friends or associates.
11 They read hidden demeaning or threatening meanings into benign remarks or events.
12 Persistently bear grudges, unforgiving of insults, injuries, or slights.
13 Quick to counter-attack against attacks on her character or reputation, and have great difficulty accepting criticism.
14 Has recurrent suspicions, without justification, regarding fidelity of spouse or sexual partner.
Those are the symptoms I easily recognised in my partner, and the following shows how they affected her:
1 She distrusted her neighbours, and most businesses in our home town. She would never post letters in town, never use local tradesmen etc.
2 She always believed her neighbours were watching her or out to steal from her.
3 She believed, on many occasions, her bank was stealing from her or ‘ripping her off’.
4 I.D. began to enter our relationship, eventually destroying it.
5 She also had problems with her previous partner who ‘was trying to kill her’.
6 She became devious with me, hiding and removing things as she felt I was stealing from her.
7 She didn't seem to trust anyone, specially the police, banks, doctors, etc.
8 She always insisted on doing everything herself, but constantly made dreadful errors in judgement which I had to resolve. Eventually, she told me I was ‘trying to take over her life’ or ‘dis-empowering her’.
9 She tried to change me, and became annoyed if I didn't do what she wanted.
10 She could not be convinced to trust anyone, especially neighbours or local traders.
11 She would always read something into the things people said, or the way they looked at her.
12 She always seemed to hate her neighbours, and would never forgive them for parking their cars anywhere near her property. She would take photos of their number plates, day or night, and of their bedroom windows because ‘they were spying on her’. She mistrusted the Royal Mail and took photos of postal workers outside her property and their vans.
13 If I ever disagreed with her when she was wrong about anything, she would go into one of her ‘manic’ rages and threaten to go home.
14 She almost lost me all my friends because she believed I was ‘having affairs’ – which I was not, they were only good friends who could sense all was not well with her, but declined to tell me until later.
So, add to all that her recently-diagnosed dementia (I still do not know the stage it's at) and possible schizophrenia (her mother and my partner's youngest son - now deceased - were both schizophrenics), and I can well understand why she has been in care and being assessed for the past nine weeks.
However, I am still willing to stand by her, give her whatever support - and love - I can, so that she may have as reasonable a life as possible. I will be hard, I know - possibly almost impossible - but my love for her tells me this is something I must do. My Faith is also strong, so I cannot turn my back on her. I do hope you will all understand.
When we first met, my partner-to-be told me, on a recent occasion, her doctor had told her 'she wouldn't live to be seventy' (Marquita was only 62 at the time!). She then said it was to do with having a weak heart. Although, when we asked my doctor he could find no evidence of that in her notes.
I have come to the conclusion it was then her dementia was discovered and the 'weak heart' was just to keep it from me. After all the symptoms I've noticed it does seem to me - although I'm certainly not a doctor - she could well be at the end of the early stage of dementia, or even at the beginning of the middle stage.
I still live in hope that, God willing, I may be able to help make the time she has left, at least comfortable for my dearest friend and partner.
Boy Albie.
