Arranging Live In Carers

[Forestridge]

Thank you Bella, much appreciated. I don't think Mum will be capable of respecting anyone's privacy anymore sadly. SW becomes very paranoid after a TIA and I think there 's a concern she might forget she harps a Carer, find someone in her home and flip out .

I have been reading a booklet aimed at SW's about loss of capacity and feel a bit clearer this morning. I do not think live in Carers are in Mum's best interest. We'll see what the SW comes up with, maybe she will have suggestions we haven't thought of.

The consultant said retirement flat but i'm unclear if he was in agreement with the flat in the CH or meant Extra Sheltered Housing. He did tell her she couldn't stay at home though but she's ignoring that.

Feel seeing GP today for blood pressure check might not give a very accurate reading so am going to postpone that for a few days.

 

[Bellabella]

Of course, you know mum best and her level of competence. I hope that you manage to find a solution that is in everyone best interests.

I know it is an awful strain and I do feel for you. I can tell you that in my experience whenever possible, it does seem to me that keeping someone in a familiar environment does seem to help somewhat. Of course this is not always possible.

I need to be discreet for obvious reasons, however the first three months here were really difficult until I was 'got used to'. I believe that a carer should actually 'like people' to begin with. I get shoved, called 'the girl' and accused of stealing every other day. I deal with this by making a joke of things.

Washing and bathing is a real challenge, I say things like 'All the cats in the street will follow you around' this gets a laugh and we carry on. Difficult to retain a sense of humour in these situations but essential as a coping mechanism for all. I also have my little dog here and she is a great distraction for the lady when things get tricky.

I do believe there are very good carers and homes out there and deep inside somewhere I'm sure mum knows that you are doing the best for her.

 

[Forestridge]

You sound lovely Bella, whoever you look after is lucky.

Conversation with Brother today and we have agreed to go with what the SW feels is appropriate. She's on training course today but hopefully can start dealing with this tomorrow.

 

[Resigned]

Hi, we had live in carers for my mum, lasted 6 months. The 8 week turnaround really upset her and took about a week for her to settle. The carers needed 14 hours a week off so we had to cover that.

I'm afraid that, although your mum says she's prepared to tolerate carers in her home rather than go into a CH, the reality may not be at all what she wants and may bring a whole lot of trouble on you if she starts to be aggressive. She may have no idea what she's agreeing to. My mum's care in the home came to an end when she took a knife to the new carer who she thought had taken her, mum, a prisoner. Mum no longer recognised her home by then so we had no choice but to move her into a CH.

Its a hard decision. I'm glad we tried it but realistically, it was never going to work long term. Although expensive, its not much different from CH fees.

The carers came from a well known agency so things like tax and NI were all taken care of.

It may be worth a try but with Plan B ready if it doesn't work.