hello, i'm new, but have been reading this site for a few days, since it was confirmed that my mum was not 'temporarily confused', as we had been led to believe, but had progressed in her vascular dementia.
it has been a very painful experience, seeing someone you love being ignored and humiliated in hospital (she's been there 3 weeks after a second incident of low sodium leading to confusion) and having to come to terms with the fact that she will never be the person we knew again.
in some ways it has felt like a bereavement, yet she is still alive, and amazingly she can even be cheerful some days. she thinks she's on a journey (boat/train) and about to come home (though very confused about this, thinking she lives in yorkshire where she was as a child, not london). but some of the worst of all this has just been seeing how the nurses (not all of them) treat older people in hospital.
people with dementia seem to be ignored, almost treated like naughty children. getting information out of doctors has been absurdly difficult, and as no one there knew her from before and she was already labelled with dementia (mild) it seemed there was minimal interest in finding out if she was significantly more confused or not. it has only been the persistence of her family that has made them pay some attention (as it is clear that we now have to find her residential care).
it makes me feel angry that people with dementia are effectively disempowered, having no control over their stay in hospital and no understanding of what is going on. moreover, close relatives have to beg for information, and not once has anyone approached us to ask about her condition or update us on their theories/investigations. surely there ought to be a better system for treating distressed dementia patients and their carers...
is there something we should be asking for and don't know about??
peppa
it has been a very painful experience, seeing someone you love being ignored and humiliated in hospital (she's been there 3 weeks after a second incident of low sodium leading to confusion) and having to come to terms with the fact that she will never be the person we knew again.
in some ways it has felt like a bereavement, yet she is still alive, and amazingly she can even be cheerful some days. she thinks she's on a journey (boat/train) and about to come home (though very confused about this, thinking she lives in yorkshire where she was as a child, not london). but some of the worst of all this has just been seeing how the nurses (not all of them) treat older people in hospital.
people with dementia seem to be ignored, almost treated like naughty children. getting information out of doctors has been absurdly difficult, and as no one there knew her from before and she was already labelled with dementia (mild) it seemed there was minimal interest in finding out if she was significantly more confused or not. it has only been the persistence of her family that has made them pay some attention (as it is clear that we now have to find her residential care).
it makes me feel angry that people with dementia are effectively disempowered, having no control over their stay in hospital and no understanding of what is going on. moreover, close relatives have to beg for information, and not once has anyone approached us to ask about her condition or update us on their theories/investigations. surely there ought to be a better system for treating distressed dementia patients and their carers...
is there something we should be asking for and don't know about??
peppa