Mum lives 200 miles away. She has carers in 4 times a day to manage her medication and meals. She can still manage some aspects of her life herself and has friends who are very kind to her. She has lost all sense of time and money so her diabetes was very poorly managed until I managed to get carers involved. However, there are always emergencies and the care team, rightly, expect me to sort these out.
I have driven to Mum's every weekend for the last 2 months and am utterly exhausted. I have a demanding job and a family to manage during the week. The latest disaster is that the back of her washing machine was leaking and the floor has wet rot and the whole kitchen/utility room floor will have to be replaced..an insurance job, but impossible with Mum in the house.
I want Mum to move closer to me as I feel I cannot support her without having some kind of breakdown myself. When she got her diagnosis she said that she would consider moving to a small flat in my town, but now she will not hear of a move. Her awareness of her own frailties is very limited though.
I know she will deteriorate if I insist she moves, or invite her for a "holiday", as she will be isolated here without her friends and comfortable routines.
How do I balance my needs with hers?
I have driven to Mum's every weekend for the last 2 months and am utterly exhausted. I have a demanding job and a family to manage during the week. The latest disaster is that the back of her washing machine was leaking and the floor has wet rot and the whole kitchen/utility room floor will have to be replaced..an insurance job, but impossible with Mum in the house.
I want Mum to move closer to me as I feel I cannot support her without having some kind of breakdown myself. When she got her diagnosis she said that she would consider moving to a small flat in my town, but now she will not hear of a move. Her awareness of her own frailties is very limited though.
I know she will deteriorate if I insist she moves, or invite her for a "holiday", as she will be isolated here without her friends and comfortable routines.
How do I balance my needs with hers?