Liz Jones in Daily Mail

[PeggySmith]

Well, certainly more realistic than some stuff I read.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2353179/Mum-devoted-life-So-I-manage-just-day-caring-Her-honesty-shock-But-compelling-confession-LIZ-JONES-tweak-consciences.html

 

[at wits end]

I read this article this morning and I have to say it really upset me. I'm not a fan of Liz Jones at the best of times but I found this article rather disrespectful to her mother. She didn't need to go into quite such graphic detail, she obviously wrote to shock which is fine, but maybe not appropriate when talking about someone still alive.

Not to mention how easy she makes it sound to get funding!!!

 

[TinaT]

I'm glad she did go into such detail. These details comprise the sum of what her mother's life has been for some considerable time. The truth of living in this way is not pleasant. It is heart-breaking.

I do think the writer has been utterly truthful and reflects what many, many others in very similar circumstances experience and raises the unasked questions which we carers face.
When we send for the doctor because of a serious chest infection etc., etc., do we hope that he/she will shoulder the burden of saying 'Enough is enough', and give palliative care without treating the infection? Would that we had the courage to broach the subject ourselves.

I know I've faced this question myself and not been brave enough to voice it out loud.

xxTinaT

 

[Izzy]

Not sure about the article. I can see Tina's point of view and I can see WE's point if view as well. I confess to never having heard of Liz Jones. I googled her and found this article which I thought was interesting.


http://www.independent.co.uk/voices...we-should-stop-reading-liz-jones-8681676.html

 

[JonathanG]

Well I can't deny it could have been a good piece for highlighting the plight of the elderly in modern day Britain. If only she hadn't spent the whole piece making it about herself!

That piece could just have well been written anonymously, names changed to protect her mother's dignity, personal photos left out. It would still have had impact for the reader, and perhaps opened up more constructive debate. But it's marred by the writer's awful self pity.

What a horrendously selfish woman Ms Jones she appears to be. To claim she "couldn't make it" for Christmas to see her own mother who is just a few hours drive away is just awful.
I'm not saying she's unique, I'm sure there are plenty of other children and grandchildren like her, but that article was just another attempt by Ms Jones to make someone feel sorry for her.

Sorry, I realise I was ranting a little, but this 'journalist' has been nothing but a cheap sensationalist for years and using her own mother like this is an all time low.

 

[PeggySmith]

Like Izzy, I hadn't heard of Liz Jones before, but I sometimes read the Mail Online in the morning and the article caught my attention. On reading it, I was most put off by her statement that she didn't want her Mum living with her because Mum's wheelchair was leaving marks on the floors. I also wondered how she managed to get funding for full-time live in care and suspect that, actually, she's paying the bills herself.

I thought it was interesting, though in that she was so graphic and expressed her inability to cope with the nitty gritty of care. I agree with TinaT "I'm glad she did go into such detail. These details comprise the sum of what her mother's life has been for some considerable time. The truth of living in this way is not pleasant. It is heart-breaking."

If nothing else, I was hoping the article would open up the debate a bit so those of us who can't manage physical care can talk about it. I do however suspect that, given the nature of this journalist (thanks for the link Izzy), it won't do any good at all.

 

[AntheaC]

confessionals

I've jsut read the two articles and think we are being a bit harsh on Liz Jones - after all she is only following the trend of confessional writing started by Sylvia Plath and just look at the arguments that started! We are all social animals and I for one think it is better to have a bit of variety in the way people choose to write about their lives.

I personally don't think I would have put the photographs in and hope she checked with her family before writing the details but we really need more honesty like this. Pushing the problems away and not talking about it is not the answer and may be the reason so many feel uncomfortable. There are so many areas of caring for others that come as a shock to me when I started and I wish I had had more honest discussions earlier on then maybe I wouldn't have felt so alone the first tiem I had to wash and give my mum personal care. It is a very emotional area for children and parents and who ever talks about it?

 

[Miss Merlot]

Can't stand Liz Jones at the best of times, but can't help feeling using your mum, who isn't in a position to object, as tabloid fodder and sharing undignified details of her most intimate care is a new low....

 

[kingmidas1962]

Not her again ... This isn't the first time I've heard bad things about Ms Jones .... just the other week she was slating Alison Moyet for losing too much weight .. no doubt she'd also have criticised her for being too fat.

I detest journalists (I use that term loosely) like her. Be careful Ms Jones ... you may one day end up being the subject of a "report" like the ones you write ...

 

[Saffie]

Not her again ... This isn't the first time I've heard bad things about Ms Jones .... just the other week she was slating Alison Moyet for losing too much weight .. no doubt she'd also have criticised her for being too fat.

I think you'll find that this is because Liz Jones was an anorexic and is very much against the pressure put upon young girls to be thin and for mothers to lose their baby weight too quickly.
Totally irrelevant to this topic.

But it's marred by the writer's awful self pity.

I suppose it depends how you read it, but I read it as self-criticism rather than self-pity - and very much as praise for the carers .

 

[meme]

I am not a Liz Jones fan at all..however I found this a very honest and positive article. Her love for her mother comes through and she gives carers the credit they deserve.

 

[kingmidas1962]

I think you'll find that this is because Liz Jones was an anorexic and is very much against the pressure put upon young girls to be thin and for mothers to lose their baby weight too quickly.
Totally irrelevant to this topic.


I suppose it depends how you read it, but I read it as self-criticism rather than self-pity - and very much as praise for the carers .

I didn't know that - so apologies for my lack of in-depth knowledge and irrelevant comment. My point was simply that this is the journalism I cannot bear, regardless of whether the subject matter is dementia, anorexia or anything else.

 

[garnuft]

I quite like Liz Jones. Her writing has changed over the years and her disdain for herself and all other Humans but love for animals hasn't faltered and her stance against heroin chique and size zero.....
though I've yet to check up about her shoes and boots? Is she vegan footwear friendly?

Anyway, I thought this article was honest.
The bits that stung....Mum of seven on her own on Christmas Day...she knew they would sting but left them in.

 

[SallyPotter]

In my opinion its a good bit of honest journalism, some bits may be a bit over exaggerated but she raises good points. That about the live in carer being on such a low income, also about how elegant her mother used to be previously compared to how she is now. She did make herself seem to be almost comically naive about it all but it all (in my opinion) helped to exaggerate the tragedy of the situation.
I can appreciate the lack of dignity for her mother but it cannot be seem as bad publicity. Most of us here if we hadn't unfortunately ended up in the circumstances we are in would still know nothing about the day to day effects of the illness.

 

[boxer]

I read the Daily Mail most days and Liz Jones always tells it like it is! Yes, she can be very condescending and had a go at the singer Rhianna a week ago for being a bad role model for youngsters (I agree with her) and can understand how she feels about her Mum.

My Dad (he has Alzheimers) has been in hospital for a over a week now with a chest/urine infection which sent him over the edge with his behaviour. On top of that he had a heart attack caused by his erratic/aggressive behaviour. Since he's been in hospital a member of family have had to be with him as the nurses and doctors can't cope with him on a normal ward. Thankfully he now as a one to one nurse with him even they can't understand what's going on as he is up and about, walking around, taking other peoples possessions, etc. and on top of this he never sleeps for long.

I've been there this evening and have had to see him to the toilet, wetting himself, he's had lots of falls, me changing him seeing everything, feeding him his dinner even though he was pushing me away saying he has to get out etc. etc.

The nurses and doctors seem to think he's putting it on (they've started to write down what he says in a book) but I sometimes wish he was bed-ridden like Liz Jones' Mum so that we could have less people involved in his care.

The only thing I felt was selfish about Liz's piece was when she said she had to miss Eastenders! Get in the real world and you don't get to watch anything!

 

[SallyPotter]

Hi Boxer, I think you're right and that she also stressed how shallow her 'real' life actually is, hats off...