Ok so I'm new to the whole situation. My father in law moved in on Friday last week after spending some time in a MHU he was really confused about living here on the first day but that seems to have settled down a little bit. He couldn't go back to his own home as he is in the fifth stage and it would be too dangerous. I have no problems with him being in our home but one thing that is getting to both me and my partner, and it's making us both exhausted. On Saturday we were up at 5.14 AM Sunday was exactly one hour later, but today really took the biscuit it was 3.40 AM, my partner has stayed in bed as he had only been in it for an 1 1/2-2 hours so I got up with him to stop any wandering and from using the kettle. I'm exhausted. I usually get up early myself at around seven because of pain preventing me from staying in bed any longer, but this is way to early for me. What gets to me even more though is its now 6.15 AM and the fil has fallen asleep on the couch and is snoring even though when we told him to go back to bed when he woke us up by slamming his bedroom door closed but he said he wasn't tired any more. Other than breaking health and safety and probably a bunch of other things by locking his door is there anything else we can do to stop these early mornings, today even the birds weren't up. I'm sitting on the soda half asleep, with the dog snoring on my knee feeling exhausted. In fact the only thing stopping me from sleeping is the snoring. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Exhausted
- Thread starter MaryCatherine83
- Start date
Hello MaryCatherine
All I can suggest is you make the house as father in law proof as possible and let him wander.
Be sure all doors and windows are locked.
Remove flex from kettle.
Put the toaster in a cupboard.
Use as many high shelves in the kitchen as possible.
Switch off plugs.
etc. etc.
All I can suggest is you make the house as father in law proof as possible and let him wander.
Be sure all doors and windows are locked.
Remove flex from kettle.
Put the toaster in a cupboard.
Use as many high shelves in the kitchen as possible.
Switch off plugs.
etc. etc.
Good morning MaryCatherine, just wanted to welcome you to Talking Point, so sorry you are exhausted, you sound it
I don't have any experience to help you this time, but just a few ideas off the top of my head....blackout curtains,pressure mats which will set off a alarm when FiL is on the move (the noise may stop him going out the bedroom door) flask of tea on bedside table so he does not need to get up for it,lavender oil on his pillow, or maybe the GP will give him something to help him sleep, maybe there was a lot of noise at his last place and he needs to get used to a calm and quiet environment
I am sure someone will be along with some wise words to help
Take care and please do keep posting
Chris x
I don't have any experience to help you this time, but just a few ideas off the top of my head....blackout curtains,pressure mats which will set off a alarm when FiL is on the move (the noise may stop him going out the bedroom door) flask of tea on bedside table so he does not need to get up for it,lavender oil on his pillow, or maybe the GP will give him something to help him sleep, maybe there was a lot of noise at his last place and he needs to get used to a calm and quiet environmentI am sure someone will be along with some wise words to help
Take care and please do keep posting
Chris x
Hello,
I'm not suprised you are exhausted. There is nothing worse then broken sleep is there?
My Dad didn't live with me, but would phone me at all times of the night, asking what time is it? Usually he would tell me he was 'on the bus', 'at the golf course', and was worried I wouldn't be able to find him. I could usually reassure him over the phone, but then I was having to jump in the car and go to him, (only a couple of miles away), when he was having awful episodes of confusion and trying to leave his bungalow, ignoring the alarms.
After several years of managing to keep him in his own home it became obvious, to everyone but me in the beginning, that he needed 24/7 care. He moved into a NH 6 weeks ago. He has had some terrible night time hallucinations and trying to leave etc. The only consolation I have, if you can call it that, is that there is always someone there to help him and talk him down, or just have a chat with him. He sleeps alot during the day so the result is that he is wakeful at night.
I could not have him move in with me for loads of reasons, no room, Dads poor mobility, stairs etc., but also I knew in my heart it simply wouldn't work. My OH and Dad are complete opposites and quite frankly don't exactly like one another!
I wish you luck, I know lots of people on here have done what you have so perhaps they will come along with some advice. I take my hat off to you, I could not have done it myself. Having said that I've hardly slept well since Dads move, guess I'm worrying what sort of night he's having. As someone has just said in another post 'there are no winners with dementia'.
Hope things settle soon for you.
Jane
I'm not suprised you are exhausted. There is nothing worse then broken sleep is there?
My Dad didn't live with me, but would phone me at all times of the night, asking what time is it? Usually he would tell me he was 'on the bus', 'at the golf course', and was worried I wouldn't be able to find him. I could usually reassure him over the phone, but then I was having to jump in the car and go to him, (only a couple of miles away), when he was having awful episodes of confusion and trying to leave his bungalow, ignoring the alarms.
After several years of managing to keep him in his own home it became obvious, to everyone but me in the beginning, that he needed 24/7 care. He moved into a NH 6 weeks ago. He has had some terrible night time hallucinations and trying to leave etc. The only consolation I have, if you can call it that, is that there is always someone there to help him and talk him down, or just have a chat with him. He sleeps alot during the day so the result is that he is wakeful at night.
I could not have him move in with me for loads of reasons, no room, Dads poor mobility, stairs etc., but also I knew in my heart it simply wouldn't work. My OH and Dad are complete opposites and quite frankly don't exactly like one another!
I wish you luck, I know lots of people on here have done what you have so perhaps they will come along with some advice. I take my hat off to you, I could not have done it myself. Having said that I've hardly slept well since Dads move, guess I'm worrying what sort of night he's having. As someone has just said in another post 'there are no winners with dementia'.
Hope things settle soon for you.
Jane
Thank you so much for your advice. I really appreciate it. I'm going to spend the afternoon proofing the kitchen for tomorrow morning. I can't keep this up, especially when my sleeping tablets are still working and I'm fighting to stay awake through the day. When OH gets up in a bit I'm going to grab a couple of hours on the couch, but I doubt I'll be able to sleep.
Before bed you could flick the switch in your consumer unit/fuse board that controls the sockets so overnight they have no power going to them. Then it is just a quick flick the next morning.
Jay.
Jay.
I'm a bit spent for advice - and you have been given some damn good pieces there. Just wanted to say am sat right with you empty and exhausted <3
Seriously hope things ease for you xxx
Seriously hope things ease for you xxx
Hi, and welcome to TP. I think wandering and the impact of sleep must be one of the hardest things for carers. hopefully your FIL will settled down and you will develop a routine that suits you all. I saw this clever little gadget on the Alz Store (this is the american site, but think you should be able to get one here) which you could use to limit where he goes at night.
http://www.alzstore.com/Door_Lock_p/0247.htm
Found this book on Amazon...might be useful!
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Complete-Gu...plete+Guide+To+Alzheimer's+Proofing+Your+Home
http://www.alzstore.com/Door_Lock_p/0247.htm
Found this book on Amazon...might be useful!
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Complete-Gu...plete+Guide+To+Alzheimer's+Proofing+Your+Home
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Hi MaryCatherine and welcome. I know just how exhausting lack of good sleep can be as I have experienced this and I empathise. My 87 year old dad lives with me, and for quite a long time he was up and down all night. He would get up at 2am for example and get dressed, convinced it was 2 in the afternoon. He would wake me up, wake my 25 year old daughter up, start the dog barking, put the TV on shockingly loudly as he has very little hearing but refuses to wear hearings aids because he says he is not deaf. He would shout "Are you STILL asleep?" He would ask where his dinner was and want me to make cups of tea at all hours of the night. He has actually even come into my bedroom and shaken me whilst I've been in bed. I am his only carer and felt I could not cope without sleep. Eventually he was prescribed sleeping pills which have helped no end (I hope it continues) They are called Zopiclone 7.5mg. He now sleeps through the night mostly, although he gets up very early between 5am and 7am, but I can cope with that. Hope you get it sorted out. x
My MIL got up very early and went to bed very late for the first week that she lived with us. We found that a really good routine helps enormously. If your FIL wakes early do not let him sleep in the afternoon and make sure he has a routine at night. No coffee after 3pm in the afternoon, no lively films late at night and activeties that tire him during the day, such as walking if he is still able. Remember for somebody with dementia changing home is an enormous effort and hardly suprising that he has become nocturnal. Also worth investigating if he has started to have nightmares or hallucinations which may well be behind his inability to sleep. If all else fails ask GP for sleeping tablets while you establish a routine.
Gill
Gill
