Carer stuck down with temporary amnesia
- Thread starter Big Effort
- Start date
I hope when you read this you have had a long restful sleep, please ask for help in securing the assistance you, your mum and family need, take two weeks off work or as long as you need, they will cope.
You have had a fright, your family will be frightened too, make sure you do all you can to get this sorted, I know that you are a doer - so hope you will be able to take control and make some changes for the better.
Thinking of you.
xx
You have had a fright, your family will be frightened too, make sure you do all you can to get this sorted, I know that you are a doer - so hope you will be able to take control and make some changes for the better.
Thinking of you.
xx
I want to add my vote too. BE please listen to everyone, and listen to your body.
Do as Gringo says and go to bed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jeannette
Do as Gringo says and go to bed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jeannette
Gringo.... Sue J.... je vais au lit....off to bed NOW, bonne nuit!
the little green light is still onoops BE
I've only just found this thread and I am truly shocked. You are such a role model and it shows just how stressful caring is when a person who tries so hard to maintain their mental and physical health can be struck down this way. It is a lesson to us all. Please, please take your body's warning seriously and arrange some respite care for all your sakes. Have a long, long rest and stop trying to be superwoman (she never existed anyway)
BIG HUGS xxx
I've only just found this thread and I am truly shocked. You are such a role model and it shows just how stressful caring is when a person who tries so hard to maintain their mental and physical health can be struck down this way. It is a lesson to us all. Please, please take your body's warning seriously and arrange some respite care for all your sakes. Have a long, long rest and stop trying to be superwoman (she never existed anyway)
BIG HUGS xxx
BE so very sorry to read your post. I will say my prayers again for good health for you and your mom. Take care of yourself xx
Dear BE
We think we’re in control of our body and mind and it’s so frightening when we’re proved wrong. It must have been an incredibly unsettling experience although it sounds as though your body was actually looking after you well and guiding you in the right direction.
A live in carer for your mum sounds like an excellent idea and being so nearby you’d always be close at hand. Taking a little step back I’m sure will do you the world of good and your mum could still stay in her own home which I know is your dearest wish.
I hope you find that special person to help share your load and be a new best friend to your mum. Hang in there, the cavalry will soon be here!
Love Px
We think we’re in control of our body and mind and it’s so frightening when we’re proved wrong. It must have been an incredibly unsettling experience although it sounds as though your body was actually looking after you well and guiding you in the right direction.
A live in carer for your mum sounds like an excellent idea and being so nearby you’d always be close at hand. Taking a little step back I’m sure will do you the world of good and your mum could still stay in her own home which I know is your dearest wish.
I hope you find that special person to help share your load and be a new best friend to your mum. Hang in there, the cavalry will soon be here!
Love Px
Sorry to hear this latest turn of events - but so pleased that you are now looking at bringing in a carer to help.
The body can only take so much before it starts to rebel under the strain. It is good that you have heeded the warning signs now.
Keep well and may you be guided to the right carer xx
The body can only take so much before it starts to rebel under the strain. It is good that you have heeded the warning signs now.
Keep well and may you be guided to the right carer xx
oh BE,
Just read through this thread (I usually like reading yours - not so this one!). Really hope that you did sleep last night and feel well rested today. Please do try to take on and enjoy some of this pampering which is coming your way. Please make most of any time to relax and escape - just a little bit - away from the world of your mum. No doubt you have floods of advice coming at you from all directions regarding your/ your mum's future - at the end of the day you will be the one to make the big decisions, please take your time, don't rush in too fast or (more likely) distract yourself with 'loopholes' and put it all off for too long.
Take care my friend.
- Twiddler x
Just read through this thread (I usually like reading yours - not so this one!). Really hope that you did sleep last night and feel well rested today. Please do try to take on and enjoy some of this pampering which is coming your way. Please make most of any time to relax and escape - just a little bit - away from the world of your mum. No doubt you have floods of advice coming at you from all directions regarding your/ your mum's future - at the end of the day you will be the one to make the big decisions, please take your time, don't rush in too fast or (more likely) distract yourself with 'loopholes' and put it all off for too long.
Take care my friend.
- Twiddler x
Update on BE
Dear Friends,
A brief update - well that shows I am under the weather, as you know how wordy I am!
I slept very well, deep sound refreshing sleep (most unusual for me, a professional insomniac). Woke feeling Well (capital W, really well).
I have cancelled all work this week. Mum's perceptions are still alert as is the nurse she was. She didn't see the ambulance arrive or take me away, good friends came and kept her busy, social visit or so she thought. Yet she keeps suggesting I take a week off work and rest!!!!!! Just shows the mind is very complex, and there is 'inner knowing' also.
I need rest. Writing this makes my head a bit achy. So I will stop now. All is very well. Poor husband is the most traumatised. Son has left for Paris early this morning because he is sure I am fine. Just need rest.
Cannot work on selecting the carer and reading the applications - too much effort. There is time.
Amnesia is a strange experience, and I can now imagine a little better how uncanny dementia must feel for others. Coincidence that I chose amnesia as my 'alarm system'? Methinks not. Also temporary amnesia is harmless, thank goodness!
Hugs and gratitude for such caring. Signing out now. xxx BE
Dear Friends,
A brief update - well that shows I am under the weather, as you know how wordy I am!
I slept very well, deep sound refreshing sleep (most unusual for me, a professional insomniac). Woke feeling Well (capital W, really well).
I have cancelled all work this week. Mum's perceptions are still alert as is the nurse she was. She didn't see the ambulance arrive or take me away, good friends came and kept her busy, social visit or so she thought. Yet she keeps suggesting I take a week off work and rest!!!!!! Just shows the mind is very complex, and there is 'inner knowing' also.
I need rest. Writing this makes my head a bit achy. So I will stop now. All is very well. Poor husband is the most traumatised. Son has left for Paris early this morning because he is sure I am fine. Just need rest.
Cannot work on selecting the carer and reading the applications - too much effort. There is time.
Amnesia is a strange experience, and I can now imagine a little better how uncanny dementia must feel for others. Coincidence that I chose amnesia as my 'alarm system'? Methinks not. Also temporary amnesia is harmless, thank goodness!
Hugs and gratitude for such caring. Signing out now. xxx BE
Hope you've had a nice peaceful day BE. Hope you had some sun too. I wouldn't begrudge it you even though its been a thoroughly miserable day here.
Pross. Xx
Pross. Xx
Thank you for ongoing kind wishes.
I am getting better. If I push myself my head starts to ache.
Have had a quiet day.
Good night. Love BE
I am getting better. If I push myself my head starts to ache.
Have had a quiet day.
Good night. Love BE
Poor BE
I'm just catching up on your post-what a frightening time for you.Please, please,please take this as a warning that you are doing too much.You always post and advise that carers should be good to themselves.You must take your own advise and get help as a matter of urgency.Even the most physically robust of carers suffer from emotional trauma as their parents/spouses deteriorate.The sadness can be overwhelming.Each daily task we need to help our loved ones with is a constant reminder that they are slipping further away.It's not fair-but it wouldn't be fair on the rest of your family if you suffered permanent ill health.Sorry, I'm not being critical but my daughter said to me recently (since Pete is no longer at home) 'Mum, I may get you back again'.She has missed me not being a Mum to her and I've never been a proper Grandma to her son.(he has health problems). Everything stops with Dementia, except for the progression of the disease, and although my daughter's words may seem selfish she has needed my support and I've been unable to give it.
Sorry to ramble but I was really shocked to read of your health crisis.Take care. Will you be able to meditate today-or are you not ready for that yet?
Love from Lyn T
I'm just catching up on your post-what a frightening time for you.Please, please,please take this as a warning that you are doing too much.You always post and advise that carers should be good to themselves.You must take your own advise and get help as a matter of urgency.Even the most physically robust of carers suffer from emotional trauma as their parents/spouses deteriorate.The sadness can be overwhelming.Each daily task we need to help our loved ones with is a constant reminder that they are slipping further away.It's not fair-but it wouldn't be fair on the rest of your family if you suffered permanent ill health.Sorry, I'm not being critical but my daughter said to me recently (since Pete is no longer at home) 'Mum, I may get you back again'.She has missed me not being a Mum to her and I've never been a proper Grandma to her son.(he has health problems). Everything stops with Dementia, except for the progression of the disease, and although my daughter's words may seem selfish she has needed my support and I've been unable to give it.
Sorry to ramble but I was really shocked to read of your health crisis.Take care. Will you be able to meditate today-or are you not ready for that yet?
Love from Lyn T
Hello Izzy and Lyn,
I slept well again last night - 25mg of Alprazolam plays a role.
I could never have foreseen this because I actually think I am in better mental shape than I was since the crisis of Mum's plunge in Jan/Feb/Mar/April.
Also I cannot imagine what happened because I have NO MEMORY at all of events, but hubby and son are providing written accounts for later.
I am certainly very very tired. Also fragile as any stress, loud noise, pressure etc feels absolutely wrong. Astonishingly Mum is 'aware' though we hid the whole thing. She keeps exhorting me to rest, wants to help with food preparation etc - an eyeopener that she functions at emotional levels as well as any of us. She senses something wrong. She even told my brother on the phone that "someone has been very ill here" - me I assume. Food for thought in this for us carers - perceptions are there and accurate.
Today I am treading gently. Sun shine seems too much as does bright light. Walks bring me into a sweat..... so I am weak and frail. This is appropriate for me though, as I would just jump back into the fray otherwise.
I have also learned a lot about memory that I can share here (not now!!!), the layers of memory, as I think they will help us understand dementia better. It was my emotional memory that cut out..... everything was just a film, I had no sensations, so was it happening to me? Or was it real-time or just a memory? All sorts of interesting stuff to play with. (Later).
Now, here is to another gentle day. Need to focus on the carer list, but don't feel much like it.
Hope you all have a gentle day. LOve BE
I slept well again last night - 25mg of Alprazolam plays a role.
I could never have foreseen this because I actually think I am in better mental shape than I was since the crisis of Mum's plunge in Jan/Feb/Mar/April.
Also I cannot imagine what happened because I have NO MEMORY at all of events, but hubby and son are providing written accounts for later.
I am certainly very very tired. Also fragile as any stress, loud noise, pressure etc feels absolutely wrong. Astonishingly Mum is 'aware' though we hid the whole thing. She keeps exhorting me to rest, wants to help with food preparation etc - an eyeopener that she functions at emotional levels as well as any of us. She senses something wrong. She even told my brother on the phone that "someone has been very ill here" - me I assume. Food for thought in this for us carers - perceptions are there and accurate.
Today I am treading gently. Sun shine seems too much as does bright light. Walks bring me into a sweat..... so I am weak and frail. This is appropriate for me though, as I would just jump back into the fray otherwise.
I have also learned a lot about memory that I can share here (not now!!!), the layers of memory, as I think they will help us understand dementia better. It was my emotional memory that cut out..... everything was just a film, I had no sensations, so was it happening to me? Or was it real-time or just a memory? All sorts of interesting stuff to play with. (Later).
Now, here is to another gentle day. Need to focus on the carer list, but don't feel much like it.
Hope you all have a gentle day. LOve BE
Put that carer list away for today and focus on you. Tomorrow is another day and it'll still be there xxxx
