I left mum in the care home on wednesday morning. I was almost gagging with the smell as we drove down the motorway. I had the aircon on full but it was no use. One of the care assistants commented on how much she had gone downhill since they saw her last.
I got her into the room but straight away it wasn't to her taste and she wasn't happy that I was leaving it to the staff to put away her clothes. I pointed out that I had to go to work and took my leave.
The next morning the home were on the phone. They had persuaded mum with little effort to take a shower and were quite concerned with the state of her skin. Apparently her intimate areas had not seen proper care in quite some time and the skin had broken down and was even bleeding in places. The skin under her ample bosom was in a similarly bad state. I was really shocked. I am beginning to wonder what exactly the home care assistants do. They can't seem to be able to follow basic instructions such as supervise meds means handing them to mum to put in her mouth one at a time. I often find tablets lying on the floor and the other day there were some still in the blister pack that had not been administered.
I went to see mum this afternoon. Oh what a change. She was washed, nails painted, clean clothes and fresh as a daisy!! She was even more alert mentally. I was full of compliments for her and said how marvellous it was to see her looking so spruced up. I asked if she was glad she had agreed to come back. " Ach well I don't know. I don't think I'll stay. The day is very long and I like my own flat". I'd love to say I was shocked but alas no! I pointed out that back in the flat it would be ready meals which she hates and back to no one to help her wash etc and no one to help when she has an accident. She was still insisting she was going home when we get back from holiday. I was very cross but calmy said that I was no longer prepared to be dragged from pillar to post packing and moving her back and forward as she saw fit. I told her she was very selfish (nothing new there then). "its ok for you, you don't have to live here" was her reply. I pointed out that last week she hated her flat and thought 'here' was the best place ever. "I never said that" was her reply and of course she doesn't remember she said it.
If she does decide to go back to the flat there is the very smelly issue of a completely ruined poo and pee soaked bedroom carpet. John has said he is not prepared to go in and lift it. He says even he has limits of what his stomach will allow. Once someone is paid to lift it there will be the cost of new flooring. All this will have to be financed by mum. It seems such a shame to waste perhaps £300 on all this when she won't be there any length of time to enjoy it but once again she can't see it.
I also told her that John is nolonger prepared to go round and clean the floors. John said he just can't stomach the stench of her and the poo/pee covered floors anymore. The carers do notice as I can see them wrinking their noses but not one of them seems to report it. Perhaps a few weeks of us not cleaning will see complaints from other neighbours as you can actually smell it wafting out onto the main hallway as soon as the door is open. The warden will then tell the social worker that something needs to be done.
If anyone has anything else they can think of that I could do to force things I am all ears. There is no point in me just refusing to take her home as the social worker often picked her up in the past.
Isabella
I got her into the room but straight away it wasn't to her taste and she wasn't happy that I was leaving it to the staff to put away her clothes. I pointed out that I had to go to work and took my leave.
The next morning the home were on the phone. They had persuaded mum with little effort to take a shower and were quite concerned with the state of her skin. Apparently her intimate areas had not seen proper care in quite some time and the skin had broken down and was even bleeding in places. The skin under her ample bosom was in a similarly bad state. I was really shocked. I am beginning to wonder what exactly the home care assistants do. They can't seem to be able to follow basic instructions such as supervise meds means handing them to mum to put in her mouth one at a time. I often find tablets lying on the floor and the other day there were some still in the blister pack that had not been administered.
I went to see mum this afternoon. Oh what a change. She was washed, nails painted, clean clothes and fresh as a daisy!! She was even more alert mentally. I was full of compliments for her and said how marvellous it was to see her looking so spruced up. I asked if she was glad she had agreed to come back. " Ach well I don't know. I don't think I'll stay. The day is very long and I like my own flat". I'd love to say I was shocked but alas no! I pointed out that back in the flat it would be ready meals which she hates and back to no one to help her wash etc and no one to help when she has an accident. She was still insisting she was going home when we get back from holiday. I was very cross but calmy said that I was no longer prepared to be dragged from pillar to post packing and moving her back and forward as she saw fit. I told her she was very selfish (nothing new there then). "its ok for you, you don't have to live here" was her reply. I pointed out that last week she hated her flat and thought 'here' was the best place ever. "I never said that" was her reply and of course she doesn't remember she said it.
If she does decide to go back to the flat there is the very smelly issue of a completely ruined poo and pee soaked bedroom carpet. John has said he is not prepared to go in and lift it. He says even he has limits of what his stomach will allow. Once someone is paid to lift it there will be the cost of new flooring. All this will have to be financed by mum. It seems such a shame to waste perhaps £300 on all this when she won't be there any length of time to enjoy it but once again she can't see it.
I also told her that John is nolonger prepared to go round and clean the floors. John said he just can't stomach the stench of her and the poo/pee covered floors anymore. The carers do notice as I can see them wrinking their noses but not one of them seems to report it. Perhaps a few weeks of us not cleaning will see complaints from other neighbours as you can actually smell it wafting out onto the main hallway as soon as the door is open. The warden will then tell the social worker that something needs to be done.
If anyone has anything else they can think of that I could do to force things I am all ears. There is no point in me just refusing to take her home as the social worker often picked her up in the past.
Isabella