This is my first post fir a while,life overtaken me in many ways.My younger(much)sister was diagnosed with secondery breast cancer in March,brain surgery,radiotherapy,much trauma for her and her family,hopefully over the worst for now but long term future very uncertai.Anyway back to the point;my parents,Dad aged 92 with AZ,Mum main carer with quite severe mobility problems,have been offered a 2 bedroom flat in extra sheltered accomodation.My brother and I visited several places,this was our favourite,manager seems to have very positive attitude re dementia,it's only 15 minute walk from my house,carers on duty 24 hours a day.When I got the call to say there was a vacancy I felt like I'd won the lottery and when we took Mum and Dad to see it Mum loved it.Now i'm wondering if I'm being totally unrealistic?Can Dad ever settle there after leaving his home of almost 50 years?I know he can't be at home for much longer,the stairs are becoming a challenge to say the least.Is it worth a try or will it be a case of out of the frying pan and into the fire?
can it work?
- Thread starter notsogooddtr
- Start date
If its good for mum. It will be good for dad
Dad may forget his home of 50 years, (if he hasn't already) mum will need loads of support when caring for dad.
Just my thoughts
Dad may forget his home of 50 years, (if he hasn't already) mum will need loads of support when caring for dad.
Just my thoughts
It sounds ideal to me. There will be a period of adjustment, but that isn't insurmountable. Go for it.
Love
Margaret
Love
Margaret
I have to agree with 2jays, in some cases the loved one with AD may no longer recognise their home, and being with his wife will probably be more important right now.
If, in the distant future, your dad needs more care than mum can give, you may find she will also be better off in the new place too.
These changes, after decades are so overwhelming to contemplate. Sometimes I feel as much burden having to make decisions because Mum is too exhausted looking after Dad to think for herself. In the end, location which provides security and care will be the top priority. Try to imagine you found out today that it was no longer available, would you feel like kicking yourself for not doing it when you had the chance? First instincts are often best.
Stephanie, xxx
Thank you all for your your replies,they've really helped to concentrate my mind,we've nothing to lose,Mum's needs have been sacrificed for too long,onwards and upwards!
