Hi
This is the first time I've sent a post, but have often read other people's posts and found the advice really helpful.
Me and my sister support our mother who was diagnosed with Alzheimer's and Vascular Dementia 3 years ago and lives 60 miles away from us.
When she was first diagnosed, me and my sister spent the first 2 years trying to support her to live independently whilst juggling our lives (small children and work) - this was a very stressful time for us. A year ago, we managed to get paid carers in, first for a few hours a week, and now she has 24 hour care in the home. Mum can be lovely, but is very demanding, and can be aggressive when things are not working out for her. She needs constant interaction with people and does not feel safe unless she is with someone the whole time. She is also very disinhibited, and is fixated on finding a man, feels that everything would be okay if she found one, so is very vulnerable to con men (we have had many issues with dodgy men and have had police involved before she had 24 hour care). She also has no insight into her condition, and thinks her carers are friends.
Although the 24 hour care is working well at the moment, we feel that at some point the live in carers will struggle to cope (she won’t let them out of her sight, she bullies them, wakes them up at night a lot, etc).
We would like to find a care home we are happy about in Sussex or Surrey and I wondered whether carers had any recommendations about good care homes? I know that recommendations for care homes are not allowed through the forum, but if anyone does have any recommendations for homes in Sussex or Surrey, could you send me a private message? Me and my sister would be very grateful. We have visited many care homes in the area, (some three times!) and still find it difficult to find one we feel confident about, so any recommendations would be wonderful!
Many thanks
Nicki
This is the first time I've sent a post, but have often read other people's posts and found the advice really helpful.
Me and my sister support our mother who was diagnosed with Alzheimer's and Vascular Dementia 3 years ago and lives 60 miles away from us.
When she was first diagnosed, me and my sister spent the first 2 years trying to support her to live independently whilst juggling our lives (small children and work) - this was a very stressful time for us. A year ago, we managed to get paid carers in, first for a few hours a week, and now she has 24 hour care in the home. Mum can be lovely, but is very demanding, and can be aggressive when things are not working out for her. She needs constant interaction with people and does not feel safe unless she is with someone the whole time. She is also very disinhibited, and is fixated on finding a man, feels that everything would be okay if she found one, so is very vulnerable to con men (we have had many issues with dodgy men and have had police involved before she had 24 hour care). She also has no insight into her condition, and thinks her carers are friends.
Although the 24 hour care is working well at the moment, we feel that at some point the live in carers will struggle to cope (she won’t let them out of her sight, she bullies them, wakes them up at night a lot, etc).
We would like to find a care home we are happy about in Sussex or Surrey and I wondered whether carers had any recommendations about good care homes? I know that recommendations for care homes are not allowed through the forum, but if anyone does have any recommendations for homes in Sussex or Surrey, could you send me a private message? Me and my sister would be very grateful. We have visited many care homes in the area, (some three times!) and still find it difficult to find one we feel confident about, so any recommendations would be wonderful!
Many thanks
Nicki
