Only a few more days together

[Jessbow]

you weep Sweetie, you are allowed.

You are grieving for what was, and have yet to see just how much more there will be when your clearly beloved wife is safe in her own place.

I am sure that physically life will be easier for you, and that in turn will give you more energy to do the things with her that you want to - take her out for lunch, or a trip round the shops in a wheelchair. There are so many things you'll be able to enjoy, not least the hugs and kisses, you never give those up.

I am sure she is sensing your upset. Please try and see it as 'the start of something better' rather than the end of what you had. You still have the most important thing - each other

 

[Grannie G]

The terrible thing is that she has been so much better the last few days. We always used to have a mini battle getting her undressed, last night everytime I took something off she thanked me. She is taking her medication without fuss, and, for the first time in nearly three years, is asking to be taken to the toilet.
It's almost as if she knows she is going into care.
If she were to be angry and lashing out, I wouldn't feel so bad about her going into care, now I'm wondering if I am doing the right thing, although I know in my head I am but my heart says no.
One more night together.
Keith

It`s so typical Keith. It`s almost like a second sense. I do wish you well for your painful ordeal. I`m afraid at this stage it it still better to listen to your head. xx

 

[LYN T]

Hello Keith

I'm sorry that you are upset.You seem so sensitive that your wife is so lucky to have you. I am at the stage with my OH where I have to make hard decisions as well.It's a terrible time but you have done your best to make her new home lovely for her.

It's strange isn't it when improved behaviour makes you doubt your decisions. Perhaps you could look on your wife's calmness as being beneficial for her at this time and it could help her settle in more easily (with your help of course).So much easier than if she was agitated and moving.

Please carry on posting and let us know how you get on.

You are doing a great job and I feel that you are being very brave.

Take care Lyn T

 

[Big Effort]

Dear Keith,

C'est la vie. No sooner do you know that the only option is extra care, and suddenly there is cooperation and gratitude. As the others say, I am sure she senses your tension, and because she loves you, she can call on deep reserves and deliver gentler times.

It would be tempting to let the heart overrule the intellect, but we have one sure trump up our sleeves with dementia: it doesn't get better. So you have made the right decision for her and you, sad though it is.

It is your last night under one roof, but there will be many more shared times together in the near future - starting tomorrow. I hope the transition will be smooth for her, and be sure to let all your thoughts and reactions surface here when you get time to post.

Without a doubt, this is the most difficult call any partner ever has to make, simply heartbreaking, but there is no choice. In time, you will be able to support people like me who has the whole saga ahead of me still.

Sending you so much gentleness and have a calm heart, Keith. Wishing you BOTH well and anxious for news. Hugs de la France, BE

 

[Rosie Webros]

I do feel for you Keith. But you sound so loving and caring. Look at it this way - it's just the next stage of your life and you will have some special times to look forward to. Please let us know how you get on. Hope all goes well Rosie xx

 

[Butter]

I am sure you are finding limitless reserves of strength and patience with your wife today because you are so aware of what is happening.

The pain must seem unending. I think weeping and crying can help. It is a terrible loss. I wish you both some peace and some comfort.

 

[stanleypj]

Keith, I'm sure I cannot be the only one who has been wondering how you have coped with this very sad but necessary separation. If you feel up to it, please let us know.

Best wishes anyway

 

[rjm]

Keith, I have just come across your thread. I cannot imagine how tumultuous this past week must have been for you. I so hope that your wife is settling in and you are somewhat adjusting to the new routine of your life.

Best wishes,

 

[uselessdaughter]

I, too, have been thinking about you and wondering how you are.

Hope you are OK and that things went as well as could be expected with the move.

Linda

 

[flowerpot]

I've just come across this thread and feel so sad for you and hoping that all is well with yourself and your wife.

I'm sure it will take a long time to adjust to life on your own at home but hopefully you'll still have special times together.

Take care xx