A life in the day of.........................

[Saffie]

I'm sorry to hear that it might be a downturn in the dementia which has altered Dhiren's mood.

I was told a similar thing this afternoon by Dave's nurse
Although I managed to get him to eat some yoghurt and drink his tea, he was yet again, asleep for the whole of my visit.

 

[Izzy]

Thinking of both f you Sylvia and Saffie - and of course of your dear husbands. xx

 

[Grannie G]

I`m sorry Saffie.

It`s sad mainly because at least before, I knew I could reach Dhiren, and he would get some pleasure and quality of life from my visits and his environment. I`m not giving up on him but know I`ll have to work a bit harder to make the connection.

My back was so much better until I sat in an ordinary fireside chair and couldn`t get up. Now I`m back on the garden chair.

 

[Butter]

Please don't feel you have to 'work a bit harder' to make the connection. Because sometimes it comes and sometimes it doesn't, independently of what we 'do' or don't 'do'.

And with pain in your back as well as your husband's pain I sometimes think there must be a connection with these things which we do not understand.

I am so sorry.

 

[jan.s]

Dear Sylvia

I m so sorry to hear your back has deteriorated again today. I hope your exercises will help and tomorrow it feels stronger.

I am sorry to hear about Dhiren too. It may be a downturn in his dementia or maybe a bad patch. Roger is sometimes very deep in his dementia and then another day he will acknowledge me and enjoy my company. I find each day is different and i don't know what to expect.

Thinking of you both.

Jan x

 

[DeborahBlythe]

sometimes very deep in his dementia and then another day he will acknowledge me and enjoy my company. I find each day is different and i don't know what to expect.

x

I found something very similar with my mum. I hope you don't have to try too hard for Dhiren to show his former lovely character, Sylvia. It's only one person's opinion, about his apparent permanent decline. I wouldn't be surprised if Dhiren has still got some surprises in store for you down the road. I very much hope so.

Does a hot bath ease your back? I hope you have a comfortable night tonight. x

 

[Grannie G]

I didn`t really mean work harder on Dhiren. I really meant I might need to work harder on myself.
I know Dhiren cannot change what he is and know I must adjust to accepting less from him and be grateful for small mercies.
My back is awful tonight. It is so difficult to straighten from sitting to standing. Bath didn`t help, the only help is ibuprofen which I`m not supposed to take.

 

[Loopiloo]

Dhiren might suprise you, Sylvia. As Henry did me on my second last visit when after almost two months of him being in the deepest of sleeps, being told it was dementia progression, he was alert and definitely connecting.

But today.... back to the deep, deep sleep. Yet he managed to feed himself breakfast and lunch today which he has not done for a while. There is just no telling....no set pattern.

I am sorry about the change in Dhiren, and can imagine how it makes you feel. But I hope Dhiren does 'perk up' again. Today's visit with Henry was not good, but that good day gave me hope. Even although I know his dementia is progressing.

As Butter said:

Please don't feel you have to 'work a bit harder' to make the connection. Because sometimes it comes and sometimes it doesn't, independently of what we 'do' or don't 'do'.

Do be gentle with yourself and your back. Buses are not kind to bad backs and as you say, getting tense doesn't help. I hope your exercises do.

Think of both of you.

Love
Loo xx

 

[Butter]

Perhaps your back needs to go to the GP and to the osteopath in the morning. I hope you can get comfortable in bed.

Sometimes baths are the worst thing - it depends whether you would benefit from warmth or cold or alternating between the two. Or neither.

But I understood you to say you needed to work harder on yourself - and that is really NOT the impression that I get.

 

[Loopiloo]

Our posts crossed.... I do feel for you with your back being awful again. Does lying flat on your back in (or on top of) your bed help? I find lying flat on my stomach helps. Although initially it is agony but then it does seem to ease it considerably. Problem is I struggle to roll over onto my back again because of my wonky hip! But get there.

Oh dear... not supposed to take ibuprofen. I can't take it. Nor any painkiller other than paracetamol, and it is too mild. Is there an alternative your GP could prescribe?

Hope you manage some sleep tonight, and a better day tomorrow, Syvlia.

Loo xxx

 

[DeborahBlythe]

My back is awful tonight. It is so difficult to straighten from sitting to standing. Bath didn`t help, the only help is ibuprofen which I`m not supposed to take.

One of the things I was told about my back troubles was too avoid sitting for too long, but to get up and walk about at, say, ten minute intervals. Fortunately that is easy to do on work days, but I tend to forget on my days off and probably spend too long sitting at the computer.

Then I find it more difficult to straighten from sitting to standing, but another difficulty is if the room temperature is too cool. I tend to clam up a bit then. I wonder if you need a bit more room heat at home, especially this week with the rather chilly night temperatures.

I'm very sorry you are in so much pain tonight. xx

 

[winda]

Hi Sylvia, sorry to hear that your back is still not good.

Whenever I have had back trouble I have found that going for walks has normally sorted it out, as well as doing stomach exercises.
I do hope you are able to find some solution soon.

 

[scarletpauline]

So sorry to hear about your back pain Sylvia, I do sympathise, baths help me a little but it doesn't last very long, I have tried lots of painkillers, ibuprofen is a no-no as it upsets my stomach, co-codamol and co-dydramol are useless, I have Gabapentin now which I have only just started. Doctor is going to check my hips and I am on the waiting list for physiotherapy, was thinking of an osteopath as well.
Love to you and Dhiren, Pauline xx

 

[Grannie G]

Thank you .

I slept really well and woke painfree. Once I was up and moving the pain returned. I`m staying at home today to do the exercises and walk around the house and garden as I haven`t the confidence too walk to far from home or venture on public transport.

I`m sure it will ease in time because it`s muscular rather than disc problems.

 

[Izzy]

I hope the day of 'rest' helps you Sylvia. x

 

[Grannie G]

Thank you Izzy xx

 

[Grannie G]

I still have quite a lot of pain when I move and wouldn`t feel safe travelling on public transport so phoned the home to tell them I won`t be visiting until I feel better.

I asked if it would be all right if Paul could take a garden chair in for my use when visiting. There is room in Dhiren`s room and it can be easily moved.

I was reassured Dhiren is fine and I will be kept informed if necessary.

 

[Saffie]

Don't they have an upright dining chair you could use Sylvia? Dave has a chair in his room which has a cloth-covered seat and wooden arms but is basically a dining chair.

 

[jan.s]

I'm sorry to hear you're still in pain Sylvia; back pain is so debilitating, with no way of moving to avoid it. Try to rest as much as you can.

I am glad to her that Dhiren is settled. I don't know about Dhiren, but i know Roger doesn't realise when i don't go in, he just accepts when i am there, but if i too the loo, when i come back he greets me as if I've just arrived!

Wishing you a more comfortable day today. X

 

[Grannie G]

I am glad to her that Dhiren is settled. I don't know about Dhiren, but i know Roger doesn't realise when i don't go in, he just accepts when i am there, but if i too the loo, when i come back he greets me as if I've just arrived!

Thanks Jan. It`s the same for me.