Well my Dad finally got the letter from the DVLA yesterday telling him that he can't drive as from Tuesday. The letter came yesterday morning and he opened it but didn't take it in. My Mum saw the letter and decided to tell him today. My sister rang me first thing this morning to tell me about the letter (as I didn‘t see my Mum yesterday) and to warn me to be ready for the explosion.
We have been dreading this day ever since the diagnosis in December. We informed the DVLA in December but they didn‘t contact the GP until March. It has taken a further 2 months for the decision to come through.
For the next couple of hours I convinced myself, in my usual brand of mindless optimism that all would be fine. When the phone rang at 11.30, I knew that it wasn’t. My Mum told me that my Dad was VERY upset and that she had tried to call my sister but he had slammed the phone down. He had just stormed off in to the garden giving her a chance to ring me.
I jumped in the car and went over (fortunately I only live 20 mins away). When I got there my Mum had gone out so my Dad was in on his own. He was upset and shocked, but to be honest better than I expected. He doesn't really understand why (as he doesn‘t know he has AD- the consultant told him but he has forgotten/didn‘t understand), but seems to accept it and accepts that the car will go (it is on a lease which is up on 8th June).
He seems mainly upset that Mum had kept it from him that we had told the DVLA. (unfortunately he sees everything as my Mum’s fault and my sisters and I are the good guys). She says she had told him and he has forgotten. I told him we all knew but that we didn't tell him as we didn't want to upset him until we knew for sure.
We sat and talked about how we would cope. The thing is, it is taking away that bit more of his independence and he feels like a child having to be driven around. He talked about his first car (a Morris 8 I think), the fact that he never actually passed his driving test, and joked that the DVLA had finally caught up with him after 60+ years . (He went into the Navy at 17 and when he was demobbed at the end of the war he applied for his driving licence. As there were so many people applying they waived the requirement to take a test )
Considering I was dreading today it has gone much better than it might have done and I am hoping we are over the worst of this particular hurdle (see, back to mindless optimism). On the whole we are relieved that he will no longer be driving and cannot be a danger to himself and others.
I just hope, come tomorrow he hasn’t forgotten, and we have to tell him all over again.
Sue
We have been dreading this day ever since the diagnosis in December. We informed the DVLA in December but they didn‘t contact the GP until March. It has taken a further 2 months for the decision to come through.
For the next couple of hours I convinced myself, in my usual brand of mindless optimism that all would be fine. When the phone rang at 11.30, I knew that it wasn’t. My Mum told me that my Dad was VERY upset and that she had tried to call my sister but he had slammed the phone down. He had just stormed off in to the garden giving her a chance to ring me.
I jumped in the car and went over (fortunately I only live 20 mins away). When I got there my Mum had gone out so my Dad was in on his own. He was upset and shocked, but to be honest better than I expected. He doesn't really understand why (as he doesn‘t know he has AD- the consultant told him but he has forgotten/didn‘t understand), but seems to accept it and accepts that the car will go (it is on a lease which is up on 8th June).
He seems mainly upset that Mum had kept it from him that we had told the DVLA. (unfortunately he sees everything as my Mum’s fault and my sisters and I are the good guys). She says she had told him and he has forgotten. I told him we all knew but that we didn't tell him as we didn't want to upset him until we knew for sure.
We sat and talked about how we would cope. The thing is, it is taking away that bit more of his independence and he feels like a child having to be driven around. He talked about his first car (a Morris 8 I think), the fact that he never actually passed his driving test, and joked that the DVLA had finally caught up with him after 60+ years
. (He went into the Navy at 17 and when he was demobbed at the end of the war he applied for his driving licence. As there were so many people applying they waived the requirement to take a test )Considering I was dreading today it has gone much better than it might have done and I am hoping we are over the worst of this particular hurdle (see, back to mindless optimism). On the whole we are relieved that he will no longer be driving and cannot be a danger to himself and others.
I just hope, come tomorrow he hasn’t forgotten, and we have to tell him all over again.
Sue
