Help and Advice Needed

[sue58]

Hello
My mother has Alzheimer's which was diagnosed last year. She was self caring and quite bright until recently but is now getting more confused.

Care help from social services has been going in four times a day and this was for medication and ensuring she was eating and drinking. This had been put in place following a stay in hospital after a fall.

Last week when I went in to see her (I go once a week only as she has previously not wanted to see me for 27 years due to who I married and my brothers have been her all consuming family and have been to weddings etc and Xmas events which my family have been ostracized from. I did not want to come back into her life as was happy out of it but my brother chucked in the towel with her and then her sister did the same sue I was sent the bank card to just oick up the slack and shop and look after her.) to take her shopping down she didn't appear to have had her pills etc as organised and said the pharmacy man had been with them and just left them on the side. I thought on this and was a bit worried but can't explain why exactly.

Also the floor was wet and she said a man had been in to fix the problem. It just sounded wrong.

Anyway I couldn't find the Carer's signing in and out book to check she had her pills etc so when I got home I emailled and asked if things were ok. Turns out after they checked that they had stopped the visits to her FOUR WEEKS earlier. No one has told me anything apart from the email reply.

I am registered disabled myself and being in poor health I'm admitting I'm not up to this any more and can't cope with her. I feel abandoned, alone and very down in the dumps. Her family won't rally to help and I feel if I don't stop soon I'll end up very ill myself.

I wonder if I could ask a bit of advice on where to go or what to do? The Memory Clinic promised pills and outings and help with Power Of Attourney (as I have no control on who she buys from and workmen she has in from flyers through the letter box and I think there may have been one or two. Her Social Worker has not contacted me about the Care Package so I have lost faith in this and the Care Agency have abandoned us without notice.

Thanks for listening.

Sue

 

[maggiemoo]

Hello
My mother has Alzheimer's which was diagnosed last year. She was self caring and quite bright until recently but is now getting more confused.

Care help from social services has been going in four times a day and this was for medication and ensuring she was eating and drinking. This had been put in place following a stay in hospital after a fall.

Last week when I went in to see her (I go once a week only as she has previously not wanted to see me for 27 years due to who I married and my brothers have been her all consuming family and have been to weddings etc and Xmas events which my family have been ostracized from. I did not want to come back into her life as was happy out of it but my brother chucked in the towel with her and then her sister did the same sue I was sent the bank card to just oick up the slack and shop and look after her.) to take her shopping down she didn't appear to have had her pills etc as organised and said the pharmacy man had been with them and just left them on the side. I thought on this and was a bit worried but can't explain why exactly.

Also the floor was wet and she said a man had been in to fix the problem. It just sounded wrong.

Anyway I couldn't find the Carer's signing in and out book to check she had her pills etc so when I got home I emailled and asked if things were ok. Turns out after they checked that they had stopped the visits to her FOUR WEEKS earlier. No one has told me anything apart from the email reply.

I am registered disabled myself and being in poor health I'm admitting I'm not up to this any more and can't cope with her. I feel abandoned, alone and very down in the dumps. Her family won't rally to help and I feel if I don't stop soon I'll end up very ill myself.

I wonder if I could ask a bit of advice on where to go or what to do? The Memory Clinic promised pills and outings and help with Power Of Attourney (as I have no control on who she buys from and workmen she has in from flyers through the letter box and I think there may have been one or two. Her Social Worker has not contacted me about the Care Package so I have lost faith in this and the Care Agency have abandoned us without notice.

Thanks for listening.

Sue

I am so sorry you have all this worry! I dont know what to say to you but just want to send you a hug xxx

 

[Jessbow]

How long ago was her fall? carers may have stopped because it was a post hospital package.

 

[SisterAct]

Hi Sue58......Welcome to TP
Sorry about your family circumstances but that happens in a lot of families and when the going gets tough they just disappear. On TP we call them 'The Invisibles".

Things don't sound right with your Mum at all and I guess she could now be vulnerable and at risks to all kinds of things. Dodgey workmen, door sales, phone calls, falls and not taking medication etc.

Hope I don't upset you by suggesting that the wet floor could be the fact that she has done this herself as my Dad used to go all over the house

I think you need to contact her social worker and voice your concerns (especially about her medication as she is more confused), you do have to go to them...they very rarely go to you. She needs to be assessed and a care plan put in place.

Contact your Mums local Alzheimer's group and they will give you some advice on what is also available in her area. Perhaps a day centre might give her an opportunity to get out but be safe at the same time.

What about neighbours if your family don't want to help.....would any of them be prepared to help out by just checking on your Mum?

Hope you get something sorted to ease your mind and keep your Mum safe.
Polly x