Mum being moved out of care home - they're unable to cope with her - what next?

[Joan's_Daughter]

Our mum moved into a wonderful care home about a month ago, but her AD has deteriorated rapidly. The care home last week called Social Services' Crisis Intervention team to assess mam with a view to getting her in hospital to have her medication sorted out properly and be assessed on a dementia ward (we agreed) and then return to the care home. The Crisis Intervention officer assessed mum for 30 mins and declared her not to be in any danger - despite her saying suicidal things, threatening staff and other residents, and in tears most of the time.

The care home manager's just been on the phone to me, distraught and upset and in tears herself saying mam's been badly let down by social services on this but that the care home can't have mam in there with her needs the way they are at the minute. They'll do all they can to help us find somewhere more suited.

Oh heavens... just when we thought we'd found the end of the road for peace of mind for mum - and for us. It's heartbreaking.

 

[jan.s]

Hi Joan's Daughter.

Don't despair, there is a good care home out there for your Mum. I was in a similar position last year, but the CH I found has turned out to be the best things that has happened.

The manager wanted my husband to go into hospital, but the professionals disagreed (so did I). I looked for a CH that had Mental Health nurses (RMN) - they do exist. They can make all the difference.

I don't know which part of the country you're looking in, but I started from www.carehomes.co.uk, and listed all the CH within the area. I then phoned around to see if they had RMNs. If they said no, I crossed them off.

I would also talk to your Social Worker and enlist he support in looking.

I hope it all works out well.

Jan

 

[kingmidas1962]

This is an awfully difficult situation to find yourself in - however what shines through for me is that the manager of the care home your mum was in clearly sounds as if (s)he will do everything possible to help to find a really suitable place for your lovely mum. I hope that this will prove useful as I'm sure that although care homes are aware of their limitations with regard to care, they are also aware of places that will suit your mum much better. I suppose I'm trying to say that its better to have insider knowledge.

I think I'd be very tempted to go back to Social Services - but to the manager of the social worker who 'assessed' your mum and explain what the care home have said, and maybe they will back you up.

My dad went into respite care which became permanent and I had to go over the head of the woefully inadequate social worker who provided a pitiful programme of care for dad when it was clear he needed residential care, and my mum was teetering on the verge of carer breakdown .... I've not come across Crisis Intervention officers before now but it doesnt seem this one either recognised a crisis or intervened ... so not really living up to the job description.

I hope once past this difficulty you find somewhere equally suitable for your mums changing condition

xxx

 

[winda]

I'm sorry to hear you are having this problem, it must be very dostressing. But I think you have been given very good advice here. I hope you will find a solution soon.

 

[Saffie]

I am sorry that this has happened. I hope you find a suitable - and better home - very soon. One that is more able to care for your mother's needs. good luck.

 

[Mo_N]

Please forgive me if I'm being naive here but can your mum's GP not do anything to get your mum into hospital for an assessment ? If the right medication could be found perhaps your poor mum would settle enough for her current home to reconsider their decision. I would have thought this is initially a medical matter in view of your mum's suicidal feelings & aggression.

It's awful that on the strength of a 30 min interview someone who doesn't know your mum can declare her not to be in danger of hurting herself or others

I really hope you can get your mum the help she needs.

Thinking of you & sending a virtual hug
Mo
x