Sit down with your mum and talk to her about this. Tell her that you'd love to look after your step-Dad but not as her employee, but because you care for him and you think you could bring some benefit to her as well as him. I wouldn't be afraid of making it clear that you won't be working for her though.
Scared and Apprehensive!!.
- Thread starter denno_jo
- Start date
You stick to your guns girl, a good decision if ever there was one! Just stick with it, try and convince her that you have no training, only love, and sometimes that is just not enough once a certain level of care is needed. Be on the lookout for her messing up the process of employing someone else, though, to make you feel you have to do it!
Best wishes
Hugs
Best wishes
Hugs
If anyone has any reservations about being a carer, it's far better for them to say so rather than allowing themselves to be emotionally blackmailed.
I think we can tell by the relief in your post that you never wanted to do this in the first place, so well done you for having the bottle to say 'no' rather than entering into an agreement that would bring much more heartache further down the line.
I think we can tell by the relief in your post that you never wanted to do this in the first place, so well done you for having the bottle to say 'no' rather than entering into an agreement that would bring much more heartache further down the line.
I couldn't, and wouldn't, do it either, denno_jo.
And in truth, my mam wouldn't want me to. All my life she told me to "put me in a home" (her words) if it ever came to it. She had first hand experience of looking after her mother and didn't want that for me. I'm glad she told me that because if the decision is ever mine to make, it will be a little bit easier for me than if she had never said it. (Still be hard, though, but I will try to think of all those conversations in the past and follow her wishes and thank her from the bottom of my heart that she had such foresight.)
xx
And in truth, my mam wouldn't want me to. All my life she told me to "put me in a home" (her words) if it ever came to it. She had first hand experience of looking after her mother and didn't want that for me. I'm glad she told me that because if the decision is ever mine to make, it will be a little bit easier for me than if she had never said it. (Still be hard, though, but I will try to think of all those conversations in the past and follow her wishes and thank her from the bottom of my heart that she had such foresight.)
xx
Hello denno jo
I doubt your mother has really thought this through long term . It sounds like a suggestion has been put to her or she has heard about Direct Debits and has grabbed at it in despair.
You must feel able to refuse to take this responsibility on board.
I doubt your mother has really thought this through long term . It sounds like a suggestion has been put to her or she has heard about Direct Debits and has grabbed at it in despair.
You must feel able to refuse to take this responsibility on board.
Hi there,
you have made the right choice. you being employed by your mum would only lead to problems and you may end up resenting each other.
explain that as much as you love them both you could not take on the role as paid care assistant as there are tasks you would not be able to carry out.
good luck
jan1962
you have made the right choice. you being employed by your mum would only lead to problems and you may end up resenting each other.
explain that as much as you love them both you could not take on the role as paid care assistant as there are tasks you would not be able to carry out.
good luck
jan1962
My recollection of Direct Payments is that it cannot be used to pay a Family member. You would be entitled to a Carers allowance which is a pittance.
