Life on replay

[Pullinpants]

My Grandad has had dementia with lewys bodies for nearly 5 years now and my Nana had been his carer throughout. Until last year when she suddenly couldn't cope nay longer. Grandad's life was being put at risk because Nana became incapable of looking after him properly, so just before Christmas we decided to move Grandad into a home. Thankfully Grandad has settled in well and seems much calmer and happier. Unfortunately Nana still isn't coping.
On thursday last week we finally received a diagnosis of dementia with lewys bodies for my Nana too. We'd had our suspicions for a while now but a lot of procrastination from the GP meant we've had to keep waiting for the official diagnosis.
We've been through this already as a family, but that doesn't mean we are well prepared to go through it once again. How do you deal with visiting a grand parent in a care home, trying to care for another at home who is newly diagnosed, and work a full time job?

 

[Grannie G]

Oh dear. What a devastating blow for you.

Do you think both Grandparents would be happier if they were cared for together in the same home?

 

[Necion]

Hello Pullinpants,
How awful you have this to contend with too. I understand what you say, it certainly must be a replay of the past years.

Welcome to Talking Point, although none of us want to be here there is such a fantastic amount of support, knowledge and friendship... it's been a real sanity saver to me.

Others with the kind of support you need will be along too, but for now I can only say 'take one day at a time.'

Sending you love & strength,
Lots of love, Necion. xx

 

[Butter]

I am very sorry to hear this. This must be difficult for all of you.

If you can keep them together - it will make managing and visiting much easier for you. I hope they would prefer that themselves.

Sometimes couples can have separate rooms in different parts of the same home.

 

[Pullinpants]

Many thanks for all your kind words.

We're a strong family. We're not particularly close knit but we've all mucked in. Prior to getting this new job I was caring for both my grandparents once a week taking them to Singing for the Brain and helping out on other days when I was able to. Sadly the deterioration in my Grandad was so quick that he now doesn't always have a recollection of Nana when she visits. And unfortunately as she is still only at the very early stages, she can't move into the same home as him, although we are now looking at sheltered housing - any info on that would be welcomed too!?

You'd think after going through this once already we'd be prepared but I guess you can never be prepared for something like dementia. It takes down even the strongest of people