My husband as vascular dementia also I know what your going through.I bought a book called contented dementia recommended to me by an admiral nurse u can buy from the internet.Recommend to anyone going through the same as I did.Never argue walk away from the situation and when u return he will have forgotten all about what nasty things he said. I could have walked out many a time.Never ask questions and change the subject of whatever ir was that caused the problem in the first place. Best of luck u need support from the Admiral nurses and joining a drop in centre together.
Help... My partner has dementia and I just can't cope
- Thread starter fred1
- Start date
My husband as vascular dementia also I know what your going through.I bought a book called contented dementia recommended to me by an admiral nurse u can buy from the internet.Recommend to anyone going through the same as I did.Never argue walk away from the situation and when u return he will have forgotten all about what nasty things he said. I could have walked out many a time.Never ask questions and change the subject of whatever ir was that caused the problem in the first place. Best of luck u need support from the Admiral nurses and joining a drop in centre together.
You have to change
I have been dealing with a husband who has FSD dementia for 12 years, and you have to change, not him. You have become the head of the family and look after the finances, and be the father of your children (that includes protecting them from your ill husband). When you have taken over the finances give only enough money for one drink, to give an hours respite to YOU. If he gets a message for a drinking bash, do not tell him.Tell all his friends he has dementia and should not drink heavily, and the bar staff if you know them. Do not forget family, they can be a danger, expecting him as the naughty one and why not have another drink.
Go to carer's meetings, you will gain strength and find out benefits information. GO FOR EVERY BENEFIT YOU CAN. You will not get any help, it is only your strength the will make this tragedy better. The first two years are the worst as you untangle the husband /wife role and become both. God help you and your children.
I have been dealing with a husband who has FSD dementia for 12 years, and you have to change, not him. You have become the head of the family and look after the finances, and be the father of your children (that includes protecting them from your ill husband). When you have taken over the finances give only enough money for one drink, to give an hours respite to YOU. If he gets a message for a drinking bash, do not tell him.Tell all his friends he has dementia and should not drink heavily, and the bar staff if you know them. Do not forget family, they can be a danger, expecting him as the naughty one and why not have another drink.
Go to carer's meetings, you will gain strength and find out benefits information. GO FOR EVERY BENEFIT YOU CAN. You will not get any help, it is only your strength the will make this tragedy better. The first two years are the worst as you untangle the husband /wife role and become both. God help you and your children.
There may be support out there...
It took me nearly 3 years to discover there was a carers organisation in my county (Carers Bucks) and I have found it well worthwhile over recent months. I would thoroughly recommend you do some internet research in your area to check if there is something similar. Finally I now have someone to talk to at the end of a phone - patient, non-judgmental and experienced. See - it's not just going out to support groups that can help ease things. I've also attended a half-day course Carers Bucks organised entitled "Managing Challenging Behaviour". This helped me understand why my mother-in-law behaves the way she does, anticipate situations better and amend my own actions to avoid certain triggers.
It is also important that you make sure your GP has you registered as a carer.
It took me nearly 3 years to discover there was a carers organisation in my county (Carers Bucks) and I have found it well worthwhile over recent months. I would thoroughly recommend you do some internet research in your area to check if there is something similar. Finally I now have someone to talk to at the end of a phone - patient, non-judgmental and experienced. See - it's not just going out to support groups that can help ease things. I've also attended a half-day course Carers Bucks organised entitled "Managing Challenging Behaviour". This helped me understand why my mother-in-law behaves the way she does, anticipate situations better and amend my own actions to avoid certain triggers.
It is also important that you make sure your GP has you registered as a carer.
And I thought that I had problems! So sorry to read that your partner is aggressive. My husband is 86 but usually he is like a lamb. I hate being a policeman watching him and telling him what to do and where to go in the house. The worst thing is that we have no routine, so I don't know when I can creep out to shop safely.
I hope you've been able to get some form of help since original posting. My OH is/was also aggressive/abusive. Started as verbal but escalated to actual, which is when I knew I could no longer cope. I know it was the jumbled thinking and mixed up messages due to his brain affected badly and progressively by vas dem and TIA's. Was also hallucinating, paranoid and deluded. Awful feeling though, I thought he might kill me in the night while I slept and not even realise what he'd done. Was worried my children and grandchild could lose me this way and knew I could no longer care for him. Once u start asking for help and keep on asking you will get it albeit a long time coming. Awful, dreadful, cruel disease that dementia is, the sufferer cant be held responsible for their actions so you have to take some control especially for your own and your children's safety. Thinking of you, I know what you're going through. xx
Oh, how I feel for you. This is a terrible journey for everyone concerned. I locked myself in the bathroom the other night and only dared come out at 1.45 when after cautiously opening the door I heard him snoring, only then did I dare get back into bed. The following day he had no recollection of how abusive he had been.
Look after yourself and your children. They need to understand he can't help it but they must feel safe. With the lack of a group for younger age dementia sufferers and their carers some of us got together and started our own. Apart from anything else, fundraising and organising has given us all another dimension to our lives and our group is growing. Without it I think I would have under by now.
Take care xx
Look after yourself and your children. They need to understand he can't help it but they must feel safe. With the lack of a group for younger age dementia sufferers and their carers some of us got together and started our own. Apart from anything else, fundraising and organising has given us all another dimension to our lives and our group is growing. Without it I think I would have under by now.
Take care xx
Love - and lowering expectations
Hi there - Wow thats young - for you and him. I care for my dad all week but not live in. I know its easier said then done but you must work out a survival structure for yourself and your children. it is really hard work - in fact i reckon its harder than when i was a single mum with a toddler - being there and thinking ahead and not being "seen" or in fact taken any notice of. I found a short course with the Contented Dementia Trust (not the same as the book about them) who came to our town and gave free courses and it was so helpful. In a way altho it wa a bit harsh at first, it was the lowering of all our expectations as to just how "into the wormhole" dad was going to be. I didnt really know anything about dementia and the way the memory disintegrates when it all started. Once I got my head round how to be with him things have been totally different. Its a lot like loving a small child unconditionally - altho depending on how your bloke is he must be getting well fed up with his memory. the only real way out of the stuff that stresses him and fets him worked up and aggressive is to distract him. i know it sounds patronising but hey . . so what planned survival things do you have in place for you? is there any tv programme or regular activity that he can still do which gives you a breather during the day.Do you hae any friends who aren't at work for whatever reason who can come over for a coffee so you aren't "imprisoned" all the time? have you go the power of attorney sorted so you can gently dislodge him from having to worry about th responsibilty he can no longer carry. My Dad gets really stressed about going thu the bank statements as that is what he used to do - even tho now he's not able to concentrate long enough to add it up properly now - he gets really agitated but i have managed to find ways to help him understand that its not crucial if he does them or not (cos I am helping my mum do it) and we just go thru the paperwork again and gain and after a while i firmly suggest going for a walk or solitaire card game etc and it si working. thre will always be stuff that makes them wretched with despair about whatever it is they must do if only they could remember . That is dementia . even if you aren't normally very sociable get other people into his life so you can get a mental break. You aren't alone - ther are thousands of carers "out there" - but not much state organised help unfortunately. Hope thats helped a bit. I went nearly crazy at first. if you have spare second (LOL) keep asking for help in forums or finding local groups - big Love xx
Hi there - Wow thats young - for you and him. I care for my dad all week but not live in. I know its easier said then done but you must work out a survival structure for yourself and your children. it is really hard work - in fact i reckon its harder than when i was a single mum with a toddler - being there and thinking ahead and not being "seen" or in fact taken any notice of. I found a short course with the Contented Dementia Trust (not the same as the book about them) who came to our town and gave free courses and it was so helpful. In a way altho it wa a bit harsh at first, it was the lowering of all our expectations as to just how "into the wormhole" dad was going to be. I didnt really know anything about dementia and the way the memory disintegrates when it all started. Once I got my head round how to be with him things have been totally different. Its a lot like loving a small child unconditionally - altho depending on how your bloke is he must be getting well fed up with his memory. the only real way out of the stuff that stresses him and fets him worked up and aggressive is to distract him. i know it sounds patronising but hey . . so what planned survival things do you have in place for you? is there any tv programme or regular activity that he can still do which gives you a breather during the day.Do you hae any friends who aren't at work for whatever reason who can come over for a coffee so you aren't "imprisoned" all the time? have you go the power of attorney sorted so you can gently dislodge him from having to worry about th responsibilty he can no longer carry. My Dad gets really stressed about going thu the bank statements as that is what he used to do - even tho now he's not able to concentrate long enough to add it up properly now - he gets really agitated but i have managed to find ways to help him understand that its not crucial if he does them or not (cos I am helping my mum do it) and we just go thru the paperwork again and gain and after a while i firmly suggest going for a walk or solitaire card game etc and it si working. thre will always be stuff that makes them wretched with despair about whatever it is they must do if only they could remember . That is dementia . even if you aren't normally very sociable get other people into his life so you can get a mental break. You aren't alone - ther are thousands of carers "out there" - but not much state organised help unfortunately. Hope thats helped a bit. I went nearly crazy at first. if you have spare second (LOL) keep asking for help in forums or finding local groups - big Love xx
Your not alone
" I have been diagnosed dementia for some 3 years or so and having PD as well. So I now what both of you are going through. I married with no kids and only 51. the cards that i have been delt is ****, and at the beginning you seemed to be on your own, but its true what other members are saying find a support group and push yourself to join them. its realy helps to talk with other like minded people. best of luck. i not agressive at all to my wife, but you can turn my moods on and off like a light bulb. getting the right balance of medicailn helps. best regards
nigel.
" I have been diagnosed dementia for some 3 years or so and having PD as well. So I now what both of you are going through. I married with no kids and only 51. the cards that i have been delt is ****, and at the beginning you seemed to be on your own, but its true what other members are saying find a support group and push yourself to join them. its realy helps to talk with other like minded people. best of luck. i not agressive at all to my wife, but you can turn my moods on and off like a light bulb. getting the right balance of medicailn helps. best regards
nigel.
shirley
I understand what you are up against. My husband has parkinsons and mixed dementia. He was stable for a while but has got suddenly worse the last couple of months. Hes starting drinking during the day. His mood swings are awful. He hardly talks to me and he stays up most of the night cooking or emptying out the freezer or mixing everything up in the cupboards and drawers.He will often take furniture apart or mess about with the electrics. Nothing I say to him will make him stop, its like he's a naughty defiant child. I feel so tired and frustrated and am frightened to sleep for very long at a time. I am still trying to work a few hours a week but he is not really safe to leave alone. I am 12 years younger than him and often feel my life has come to an abrupt end. Having said all this I often tell myself I am lucky I still have him even though he is no longer the man I married. I try to make the most of the few moments a day when he does try and talk to me but this isen't very often. He seems to live in a little world of his own. Its so difficult because there dosen't seem to be much help or support out there. Just reading about other people in a similar situation often helps because I don't feel so alone.
Good luck.[/QUOTE]
I understand what you are up against. My husband has parkinsons and mixed dementia. He was stable for a while but has got suddenly worse the last couple of months. Hes starting drinking during the day. His mood swings are awful. He hardly talks to me and he stays up most of the night cooking or emptying out the freezer or mixing everything up in the cupboards and drawers.He will often take furniture apart or mess about with the electrics. Nothing I say to him will make him stop, its like he's a naughty defiant child. I feel so tired and frustrated and am frightened to sleep for very long at a time. I am still trying to work a few hours a week but he is not really safe to leave alone. I am 12 years younger than him and often feel my life has come to an abrupt end. Having said all this I often tell myself I am lucky I still have him even though he is no longer the man I married. I try to make the most of the few moments a day when he does try and talk to me but this isen't very often. He seems to live in a little world of his own. Its so difficult because there dosen't seem to be much help or support out there. Just reading about other people in a similar situation often helps because I don't feel so alone.
Good luck.[/QUOTE]
It's not him, it's his illness.
Sad to hear a similar story to what I heard from my own mother after my father had had a stroke. It affected his frontal and parietal lobes and his personality changed completely. In the end, after threatening my mother and a neighbour with a knife, the police were called. Dad was taken away (though not sectioned) to a psychiatric ward in 2003. He had the stroke in August 2000 and died (of pneumonia) in March 2006. At no time during those 5½ years was he the gentle man he had been; you may have to resign yourself to this.
Dementia tends to be depicted on TV and film as people staring poignantly through windows at fields that are no longer there; the truth is that sometimes sufferers **** on the floor, they make up stories (my father regaled the hospital psychiatrist with completely wild tales of how my mother had "filled the house with black men", despite not having a racist bone in his body prior to the stroke) and become unreasonably violent. Call the police if need be, and remember you're calling the police on the illness for your own protection, not on the person you used to know.
Sad to hear a similar story to what I heard from my own mother after my father had had a stroke. It affected his frontal and parietal lobes and his personality changed completely. In the end, after threatening my mother and a neighbour with a knife, the police were called. Dad was taken away (though not sectioned) to a psychiatric ward in 2003. He had the stroke in August 2000 and died (of pneumonia) in March 2006. At no time during those 5½ years was he the gentle man he had been; you may have to resign yourself to this.
Dementia tends to be depicted on TV and film as people staring poignantly through windows at fields that are no longer there; the truth is that sometimes sufferers **** on the floor, they make up stories (my father regaled the hospital psychiatrist with completely wild tales of how my mother had "filled the house with black men", despite not having a racist bone in his body prior to the stroke) and become unreasonably violent. Call the police if need be, and remember you're calling the police on the illness for your own protection, not on the person you used to know.
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It is the illness being nasty
I sympathise with you. My husband was diagnosed 4 years ago and and we still have a daughter at school. He is aggressive and yes 'lives in his own bubble '. The constant unpleasantness, aggression and criticism wears us down. It is not the memory that is an issue at all and it is hard for others to understand.
I wish I had known how relentless this illness was. I had no idea that 4 years on I would still be in the same daily cycle of abuse. It is abuse albeit verbal and I am so sorry that I didn't move out as I planned to a year or so before his diagnosis. I am sorry that my daughter has had to spend her early teenage years in the atmosphere that is home.
It is a long illness and I had no idea of the timescale when he was diagnosed at first.
If I had had more support and information earlier I think I would have managed my situation better.
He is still going into work ( which is a farce). He causes disruption and upset daily.
He is on repeat prescription for aricept.
He has virtually no contact with his GP and does not see any specialist.
He still drives.
He is paranoid and accuses me of stealing his money / having a boyfriend or sometimes of being gay(because I have moved to my own room). He was so unpleasant at night -- he would come to bed late and wake me up so that he could complain about something.
That sounds as if he is absolutely awful (or I am) but the truth is we try our best to let him do what he wants. It is now fairly obvious to those who know him that he is struggling more so I know he is getting worse.
It is so very hard to remember it is the illness talking and not him.
It is really important to do things for you and the kids. You will not manage if you don't create some time away from him.
I know this because my daughter and I went away for a holiday and we couldn't believe hoes easy life suddenly became when he wasn't there. You need energy to be a carer. Go to the gym / go for a run / play a sport / anything. You have to.
That was a bit of a rant on my part but please remember you are important especially to your kids. It is good to get support although I'm not sure how much there really is. I have found it helpful to talk to someone but don't access help enough. Time just gets so short.
It is hard to remember it is the illness being nasty not your husband. Hard though
I sympathise with you. My husband was diagnosed 4 years ago and and we still have a daughter at school. He is aggressive and yes 'lives in his own bubble '. The constant unpleasantness, aggression and criticism wears us down. It is not the memory that is an issue at all and it is hard for others to understand.
I wish I had known how relentless this illness was. I had no idea that 4 years on I would still be in the same daily cycle of abuse. It is abuse albeit verbal and I am so sorry that I didn't move out as I planned to a year or so before his diagnosis. I am sorry that my daughter has had to spend her early teenage years in the atmosphere that is home.
It is a long illness and I had no idea of the timescale when he was diagnosed at first.
If I had had more support and information earlier I think I would have managed my situation better.
He is still going into work ( which is a farce). He causes disruption and upset daily.
He is on repeat prescription for aricept.
He has virtually no contact with his GP and does not see any specialist.
He still drives.
He is paranoid and accuses me of stealing his money / having a boyfriend or sometimes of being gay(because I have moved to my own room). He was so unpleasant at night -- he would come to bed late and wake me up so that he could complain about something.
That sounds as if he is absolutely awful (or I am) but the truth is we try our best to let him do what he wants. It is now fairly obvious to those who know him that he is struggling more so I know he is getting worse.
It is so very hard to remember it is the illness talking and not him.
It is really important to do things for you and the kids. You will not manage if you don't create some time away from him.
I know this because my daughter and I went away for a holiday and we couldn't believe hoes easy life suddenly became when he wasn't there. You need energy to be a carer. Go to the gym / go for a run / play a sport / anything. You have to.
That was a bit of a rant on my part but please remember you are important especially to your kids. It is good to get support although I'm not sure how much there really is. I have found it helpful to talk to someone but don't access help enough. Time just gets so short.
It is hard to remember it is the illness being nasty not your husband. Hard though
This sound dreadful Evie. Do you think it's possible that he has some other condition as well as the existing diagnosis? I have read posts from people who have discovered that there is an additional mental health problem that may be treatable. If, like so many, he is not being medically monitored this would not be picked up. Just a thought.
Take care
Understanding the diffuclties
Hi Fred can i ask what part of the country are you from my reason for doing this my partner got diagnosed with early onset dementia in August a terrible shock at the time they are only 41 i am 52. I live in Birmingham and i have been trying to find a group were i can meet people that can relate to what we are going through. There are many groups but they are for older people also they are for during the day i work my partner has carers in. I am looking at trying to start a group up for younger people with early onset dementia hence my asking what part of the country you live in. Also one person mentioned trying to find an Admiral nurse we have one she has been brilliant i think the hardest part after coming to terms with it is trying to find the help have you got a good consultant my partner has a specialised nurse that also comes out once a month to see how they are doing. My partner gets very agitated with every day things i think it is all part of the process of dementia mind you my partner has 9 conditions so some of it could be from the other conditions. Kind Regards Ko Ko
Hi Fred can i ask what part of the country are you from my reason for doing this my partner got diagnosed with early onset dementia in August a terrible shock at the time they are only 41 i am 52. I live in Birmingham and i have been trying to find a group were i can meet people that can relate to what we are going through. There are many groups but they are for older people also they are for during the day i work my partner has carers in. I am looking at trying to start a group up for younger people with early onset dementia hence my asking what part of the country you live in. Also one person mentioned trying to find an Admiral nurse we have one she has been brilliant i think the hardest part after coming to terms with it is trying to find the help have you got a good consultant my partner has a specialised nurse that also comes out once a month to see how they are doing. My partner gets very agitated with every day things i think it is all part of the process of dementia mind you my partner has 9 conditions so some of it could be from the other conditions. Kind Regards Ko Ko
Aricept & it's effects
Hi Evie
There's so much going on there but one thing jumped out at me! Why is your husband on Aricept if he doesnt have memory problems? I believe Aricept can have contraindications in many areas. My husband was diagnosed two years ago & was put on Aricept, however earlier this year it came to light that he had been behaving inappropriately towards women that he comes into contact with & as his memory is good the Aricept was discontinued. We have been very lucky here as it was the local memory clinic who diagnosed him, our doctor having been useless over the previous 18 months or so that I'd been dragging my husband to the surgery! There's a very strong history of strokes in his family but that theory was brushed aside - they don't listen to the family I've found!
My husband has been having monthly visits from a psychologist for the last 15 months & since last summer a psychiatric nurse sees him at home once a month. I think we are very lucky to have this support - they both emphasize that this support is for me as much as for him! At the end of the day he's fine, not a care in the world - it's me & the family who are stressed. Part of the reason, I think, that we have this attention is because my husband was a very young & fit 63 years old when he was diagnosed & running two businesses. He does NOTHING now because as he says "they've stopped me driving so I won't do anything" - this was a hard blow to a man who's spent his life in the motor trade!!
Because I knew things weren't right for a long time before he was diagnosed our relationship,if not actually broken down, has drifted apart. I have long ago moved into a room of my own, I feel this is necessary to have my own space. This distancing,I now realise, is due to the front lobal damage which manifests itself in a complete lack of empathy towards everyone. When my sons & I are tearing our hair out with stress he shrugs & laughs it off. His condition has caused a lot of friction in the family, our three (adult) children blame him for not facing up to & accepting that he is ill. We've been happily married for over 41 years (or were) but now I'm dealing with a living bereavment. It drives me round the bend to have this stranger in the house who lies in bed all morning or all day even & then drifts in & out. He catches the bus to get about & will literally do nothing for himself! Luckily I was very hands on with the businesses, apart from physical work - thank God for my sons who have stepped in - so that hasn't been too much of a problem. The BIG problem is that he will not do anything about Power of Attorney which is a real worry.
I just feel cheated of a chunk of my life - when we should have been enjoying time together I'm now on my own. Thank heavens for my wonderful family & friends!!
I'm sorry this has turned into a lengthy rant! Reading the posts it just goes to show how different every case is & how differently those affected & their families are treated throughout the country.
May 2013 be a better year for all of us & our families.
Betsan
Hi Evie
There's so much going on there but one thing jumped out at me! Why is your husband on Aricept if he doesnt have memory problems? I believe Aricept can have contraindications in many areas. My husband was diagnosed two years ago & was put on Aricept, however earlier this year it came to light that he had been behaving inappropriately towards women that he comes into contact with & as his memory is good the Aricept was discontinued. We have been very lucky here as it was the local memory clinic who diagnosed him, our doctor having been useless over the previous 18 months or so that I'd been dragging my husband to the surgery! There's a very strong history of strokes in his family but that theory was brushed aside - they don't listen to the family I've found!
My husband has been having monthly visits from a psychologist for the last 15 months & since last summer a psychiatric nurse sees him at home once a month. I think we are very lucky to have this support - they both emphasize that this support is for me as much as for him! At the end of the day he's fine, not a care in the world - it's me & the family who are stressed. Part of the reason, I think, that we have this attention is because my husband was a very young & fit 63 years old when he was diagnosed & running two businesses. He does NOTHING now because as he says "they've stopped me driving so I won't do anything" - this was a hard blow to a man who's spent his life in the motor trade!!
Because I knew things weren't right for a long time before he was diagnosed our relationship,if not actually broken down, has drifted apart. I have long ago moved into a room of my own, I feel this is necessary to have my own space. This distancing,I now realise, is due to the front lobal damage which manifests itself in a complete lack of empathy towards everyone. When my sons & I are tearing our hair out with stress he shrugs & laughs it off. His condition has caused a lot of friction in the family, our three (adult) children blame him for not facing up to & accepting that he is ill. We've been happily married for over 41 years (or were) but now I'm dealing with a living bereavment. It drives me round the bend to have this stranger in the house who lies in bed all morning or all day even & then drifts in & out. He catches the bus to get about & will literally do nothing for himself! Luckily I was very hands on with the businesses, apart from physical work - thank God for my sons who have stepped in - so that hasn't been too much of a problem. The BIG problem is that he will not do anything about Power of Attorney which is a real worry.
I just feel cheated of a chunk of my life - when we should have been enjoying time together I'm now on my own. Thank heavens for my wonderful family & friends!!
I'm sorry this has turned into a lengthy rant! Reading the posts it just goes to show how different every case is & how differently those affected & their families are treated throughout the country.
May 2013 be a better year for all of us & our families.
Betsan
Hi busy missy
I totally understand what you are saying. My husband does have memory problems and they are getting worse now too. What i meant was that in relative terms it is the total lack of insight and empathy that's the hardest to live with. He still goes into the business but does nothing worthwhile and it is so hard for the others to deal with him.
I also now sleep in my own room so that's have some space for me. My husband also stays in bed and won't get up unless he wants to.( he even went back to bed at Christmas and didn't go see his grandchildren or come for dinner. Too scary I think.
It is so hard to learn to love someone who doesn't consider anyone's needs but his own -- But he can't. It is the illness I know but it's so hard to live with constant selfishness. It's as if the worst parts of his character are now to the fore.
He too was very fit all his life. 3 hr marathons when he was 40+ rugby boxing.
We have been married for 37 years. I do feel sorry that he doesn't get help for him. He hated the memory clinic nix I was glad when programme stopped. He gave me so much grief over it. Don't know what to do now.
I totally understand what you are saying. My husband does have memory problems and they are getting worse now too. What i meant was that in relative terms it is the total lack of insight and empathy that's the hardest to live with. He still goes into the business but does nothing worthwhile and it is so hard for the others to deal with him.
I also now sleep in my own room so that's have some space for me. My husband also stays in bed and won't get up unless he wants to.( he even went back to bed at Christmas and didn't go see his grandchildren or come for dinner. Too scary I think.
It is so hard to learn to love someone who doesn't consider anyone's needs but his own -- But he can't. It is the illness I know but it's so hard to live with constant selfishness. It's as if the worst parts of his character are now to the fore.
He too was very fit all his life. 3 hr marathons when he was 40+ rugby boxing.
We have been married for 37 years. I do feel sorry that he doesn't get help for him. He hated the memory clinic nix I was glad when programme stopped. He gave me so much grief over it. Don't know what to do now.
Ciboulette.
I feel for you. Have you tried phoning the Alzheimer's Soc support line? 03300 222 112. Difficult to achieve on your own, but they have been so helpful to us. Very good luck.
I feel for you. Have you tried phoning the Alzheimer's Soc support line? 03300 222 112. Difficult to achieve on your own, but they have been so helpful to us. Very good luck.
Help
Hi SK
I think you should get the Local Social Service ( Mental Help ) people involved ask them to asses your husband. I think if you can also get your kids to state that they have heard their dad being aggressive towards you. Also get your local mental health care hospital to asses him. If you are able to get an assessment that you can't cope . The S.S will refer you to pick a nursing home in your area to place your husband in ... In the long term it's better for you the kids and him.
Toki
Hi SK
I think you should get the Local Social Service ( Mental Help ) people involved ask them to asses your husband. I think if you can also get your kids to state that they have heard their dad being aggressive towards you. Also get your local mental health care hospital to asses him. If you are able to get an assessment that you can't cope . The S.S will refer you to pick a nursing home in your area to place your husband in ... In the long term it's better for you the kids and him.
Toki
Get help asap
My husband is in the last stages of AD and I have seen it all. ( he started in his fifties) this dreadful, vile disease takes no prisoners- it kills the patient in the most insidious way; it is merciless. It destroys the closest family members as it eats away at the brain of the poor sufferer who invariably is totally oblivious of his/her state. if the closest carer is also ill and has dependent children then the priority must be for them and not the sufferer, the sufferer does not care because he cannot care anymore, it is not in his thought process. Don't be a martyr get help asap. Having seen the most dreadful symptoms of AD and other dementia diseases I know that the suffering of the carers is very great and unless people have experienced it personally they can't empathise.
If also you have a severe medical condition you MUST put yourself first, and the children. You are very young still and need support and emphatic help. Get to your GP and pester and pester until you get help. Make your doctor listen.
My good wishes go to you and I do know how very bad you feel.
Love,
Roz xx
My husband is in the last stages of AD and I have seen it all. ( he started in his fifties) this dreadful, vile disease takes no prisoners- it kills the patient in the most insidious way; it is merciless. It destroys the closest family members as it eats away at the brain of the poor sufferer who invariably is totally oblivious of his/her state. if the closest carer is also ill and has dependent children then the priority must be for them and not the sufferer, the sufferer does not care because he cannot care anymore, it is not in his thought process. Don't be a martyr get help asap. Having seen the most dreadful symptoms of AD and other dementia diseases I know that the suffering of the carers is very great and unless people have experienced it personally they can't empathise.
If also you have a severe medical condition you MUST put yourself first, and the children. You are very young still and need support and emphatic help. Get to your GP and pester and pester until you get help. Make your doctor listen.
My good wishes go to you and I do know how very bad you feel.
Love,
Roz xx
supplements in an empirical use are controlling "odd" behaviors of my aunt
We are giving the folllowing supplements that are controlling delusions , agressiviness , hallucinations , agitation , depression of my aunt with advanced dementia . Friends of mine are using the same supplements with their relatives with dementia with the same good results to enhances cognition , mood and behavior .
This use of that supplements do NOT have NONE scientific foundation , but it is working for us we observed , in an empirical way , that the enhancings in the mood and behavior disorders starts just in the next day after the patient takes the supplements . and in some cases starts just a couple hours after the patient takes the supplements that I describe bellow,. They stops to have delusions and agressiviness , and starts to be very calm and cooperative.
As I wrote above , it do NOT have none scientific foundation .
Only the MEDICINE DOCTOR OF THE PATIENT can gives permission to use that supplements .
We use (in an empirical mode):
GLUCOSAMIN SULFATE : 200 (two hundred) miligrams four times a day (works as a tau stabilizer and as a alternative fuel to the brain) Based in : J Alzheimers Dis. 2006 Mar;9-Impaired brain glucose metabolism leads to Alzheimer neurofibrillary degeneration through a decrease in tau O-GlcNAcylation-Gong CX, Liu F, Grundke-Iqbal I, Iqbal K.)
Associated to:
L-CARNOSINE (it is NOT L-carnitine) : L-carnosine have antioxidative , antiglycating and have metal chelator propierties , We give 80 (eight) miligrams 3 times a day at meals.
Associated to:
L-GLUCURONOLACTONE : Wer are giving 200 (two hundred) miligrams 3 to 4 times a day . It derivative after liver metabolization it is the GLUCARIC ACID . L-glucuronolactone and glucaric acid (we can find glucaric acid in high amounts in apples too) , are the most powerful detoxyfiers substances , that works as a powerful antioxidative natural supplement and have too peroxinitrite scavengers propierties ,and it is a heavy metal chelator too , and it is a mitochondrial enhancer and works as an alternative fuel to the brain .
Associated to:
Extra virgin coconut oil - 01 TEA SPOON at meals 3 times a day . To patients that have diarrhea with extra virgin coocnut oil we makes massages with a TEA SPOON of coconut oil 4 times a day in the arms of the patient . Extra virgin coconut oil has comproved trans dermal absortion . Based in :Indian Pediatr. 2005 Oct;42 Transcutaneous absorption of topically massaged oil in neonates.Solanki K, Matnani M, Kale M, Joshi K, Bavdekar A, Bhave S, Pandit A. Department of Pediatrics, KEM Hospital, Pune 411 011, India.
As I wrote above , that are ALL EMPIRICAL USE , AND ONLY THE MEDICINE DOCTOR OF THE PATIENTS CAN GIVES PERMISSION TO USE THAT SUPPLEMENTS , and the use have to be under supervison of the medicine doctor of the patient , mainly in patients that are using blood thinners as aspirin (acetyl salcylic acid), once antioxidative supplements can increase the effects of aspirin as a blood thinner.
But it is working to my aunt and to relatives of friends of mine that have advanced dementia with mood and behavior disorders.
We are giving the folllowing supplements that are controlling delusions , agressiviness , hallucinations , agitation , depression of my aunt with advanced dementia . Friends of mine are using the same supplements with their relatives with dementia with the same good results to enhances cognition , mood and behavior .
This use of that supplements do NOT have NONE scientific foundation , but it is working for us we observed , in an empirical way , that the enhancings in the mood and behavior disorders starts just in the next day after the patient takes the supplements . and in some cases starts just a couple hours after the patient takes the supplements that I describe bellow,. They stops to have delusions and agressiviness , and starts to be very calm and cooperative.
As I wrote above , it do NOT have none scientific foundation .
Only the MEDICINE DOCTOR OF THE PATIENT can gives permission to use that supplements .
We use (in an empirical mode):
GLUCOSAMIN SULFATE : 200 (two hundred) miligrams four times a day (works as a tau stabilizer and as a alternative fuel to the brain) Based in : J Alzheimers Dis. 2006 Mar;9-Impaired brain glucose metabolism leads to Alzheimer neurofibrillary degeneration through a decrease in tau O-GlcNAcylation-Gong CX, Liu F, Grundke-Iqbal I, Iqbal K.)
Associated to:
L-CARNOSINE (it is NOT L-carnitine) : L-carnosine have antioxidative , antiglycating and have metal chelator propierties , We give 80 (eight) miligrams 3 times a day at meals.
Associated to:
L-GLUCURONOLACTONE : Wer are giving 200 (two hundred) miligrams 3 to 4 times a day . It derivative after liver metabolization it is the GLUCARIC ACID . L-glucuronolactone and glucaric acid (we can find glucaric acid in high amounts in apples too) , are the most powerful detoxyfiers substances , that works as a powerful antioxidative natural supplement and have too peroxinitrite scavengers propierties ,and it is a heavy metal chelator too , and it is a mitochondrial enhancer and works as an alternative fuel to the brain .
Associated to:
Extra virgin coconut oil - 01 TEA SPOON at meals 3 times a day . To patients that have diarrhea with extra virgin coocnut oil we makes massages with a TEA SPOON of coconut oil 4 times a day in the arms of the patient . Extra virgin coconut oil has comproved trans dermal absortion . Based in :Indian Pediatr. 2005 Oct;42 Transcutaneous absorption of topically massaged oil in neonates.Solanki K, Matnani M, Kale M, Joshi K, Bavdekar A, Bhave S, Pandit A. Department of Pediatrics, KEM Hospital, Pune 411 011, India.
As I wrote above , that are ALL EMPIRICAL USE , AND ONLY THE MEDICINE DOCTOR OF THE PATIENTS CAN GIVES PERMISSION TO USE THAT SUPPLEMENTS , and the use have to be under supervison of the medicine doctor of the patient , mainly in patients that are using blood thinners as aspirin (acetyl salcylic acid), once antioxidative supplements can increase the effects of aspirin as a blood thinner.
But it is working to my aunt and to relatives of friends of mine that have advanced dementia with mood and behavior disorders.
