Dad is shop lifting

Harley

Registered User
Apr 20, 2007
20
0
Sheffield
Mum died 8 years ago and dad lives alone.

We bath him 2/3 times a week and take his clothes away while he is in the bath and lay out clean ones, other wise I am not sure he would change them. We also take care of shopping, bills, cleaning the house etc.

My brother goes every morning before work to give him his tablets (the doctor says he is on the highest dose of the strongest ones, so there is nothing more he can do.) I visit every morning before he goes out. My niece goes every evening.

His neighbours are very good and call one of us if they see anything unusual. Things like if dad is late back or when he goes out at midnight because he looks at the clock, and it says 12 0'clock, he thinks it's lunchtime and he hasn't been out for the paper, or when he puts himself in bed in the afternoon because it's 2 0'clock.

We have mentioned a day centre to him but his big concern was that he would miss his walk.

It just feels like we are on our own with this and I don't know if it is usual for the doctor to just give repeat prescriptions for so long without wanting to see him or send him to be assessed, or whether I am just expecting to much of the good old NHS.
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
81,445
0
Kent
Hi Harley,

Because you are managing so well with the care of your dad, he will be overlooked if you don`t shout loud enough.

I would visit his GP as his next of kin, discuss your dad`s condition and position , and ask what help is available.

Does he get Attendance Allowance. it sounds as if he qualifies.

If he attended a day Centre, he wouldn`t have to go every day, so he could still have his walks on other days.
 

Lila13

Registered User
Feb 24, 2006
1,342
0
You have to ask Social Services, tell them when it is getting too much for family and friends.
 

Harley

Registered User
Apr 20, 2007
20
0
Sheffield
To get us back on thread.............found out last night that dad stole a pack of batteries yesterday! He said the queue in the shop was too long and he had no intention of waiting to be served, so put them back in his pocket and walked out!
 

noelphobic

Registered User
Feb 24, 2006
3,452
0
Liverpool
I would hope that it would be unlikely that the shops would prosecute if your dad were caught, although that couldn't be guaranteed. As Sylvia says, it would make sense to ensure that the GP and/or Social Services understood the situation. It is also possible that any shop that saw what he was doing would 'bar' him also, which could be embarrassing :eek:
 

jenniferpa

Registered User
Jun 27, 2006
39,442
0
Harley said:
To get us back on thread.............found out last night that dad stole a pack of batteries yesterday! He said the queue in the shop was too long and he had no intention of waiting to be served, so put them back in his pocket and walked out!

It occurs to me Harley, that this may not be exactly true. Sometimes out loved ones will make up stories to fit the evidence. Somehow it's just too embarassing for them no admit that they have no idea why they have, for example, a packet of batteries in their pocket, so they'll make up a story where they are in control of the situation, even when that story reflects badly on them.

Jennifer
 

Harley

Registered User
Apr 20, 2007
20
0
Sheffield
Good point Jennifer, thanks for that. I have wondered why he can't remember where he has been but can remember details like this.
 

Megan

Registered User
Sep 10, 2005
16
0
Hampshire
lots of chocolate

My husband of 58 has in the past taken lots of chocolate from shops, one day we totalled it up to about £8 worth! It was in all his pockets, however on that occasion he didn't get caught. Previously he has been brought home by the Police having got caught, but they said not to worry, they'd talk to the Manager of the store and make sure that if he went there again they'd ask him not to enter or ask him to leave. However, this never occurred again.
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
81,445
0
Kent
Dear Megan, Thank you for telling us about your husband.

It helps so much to realize yours is not the only one who acts so out of character. And something like shoplifting rings alarm bells.
 

Harley

Registered User
Apr 20, 2007
20
0
Sheffield
Thank you Megan. we keep trying to talk to dad about this. Hopefully people will be understanding if he gets caught. You have set my mind at rest.:)
 

Nell

Registered User
Aug 9, 2005
1,170
0
72
Australia
Not sure if your Dad would allow this, or even if it culd be of any help . . . .
Could he carry a card with his name and address on it in the front part of his wallet (perhaps in a clear section?) that also states he has Alzheimer's and gives a contact no. for you or one of the family "in case of emergencies"?? If he wouldn't be happy with the Alzheimers bit, perhaps he would allow "ongoing medical condition" or some other euphimism. . . .??

Not sure if this would be of any use but could help aleviate the worst problems if he is "caught" shop lifting??? Nell
 

sue38

Registered User
Mar 6, 2007
10,849
0
55
Wigan, Lancs
jenniferpa said:
Where is Sue when you need her? I don't know about the legal postion: one would hope that people would be understanding, but sometimes it doesn't work out that way.

Sorry, escaped to Bristol for the weekend. Back on line now but can't offer definite advice on this one as not done any criminal law since my degree - nearly 20 years ago :eek: .

All I remember about theft is that the person has to have the intention to permanently deprive the true owner. Someone suffering from dementia probably couldn't be shown to have the necessary intention and I doubt very much that they would be prosecuted.

I have a friend who is a barrister with CPS and will ask him what their likely attitude would be.

Sue
 

MillyP

Registered User
Jan 5, 2007
108
0
London
My Dad use to steal the pick and mix sweets from our local supermarket and walk around eating them as he shopped...made my Mum so angry but he couldn't see the harm.:(
 

Lila13

Registered User
Feb 24, 2006
1,342
0
There are parents who allow their children to do that. Shouldn't leave such tempting things in children's reach.
 

Lila13

Registered User
Feb 24, 2006
1,342
0
Of course, but some of the shops make things difficult for parents with young children.
 

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